


Dreams Don't Sleep

by taylortighten



Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: Baby, Child, F/M, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Kid!Fic, Nothing explicit, The Academy Is... - Freeform, Toddler, Underage Drinking, mild sexual encounters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:20:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 30
Words: 71,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22983163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylortighten/pseuds/taylortighten
Summary: When a one night stand results in something a little more permanent, is Julia Foreman ready to handle what's thrown her way? And even more importantly- can she keep the truth to herself, or will she destroy a career just as it starts to skyrocket?
Relationships: Patrick Stump/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 12





	1. Nothing Has Changed

**Author's Note:**

> Some events, times, places, etc. have been tweaked to fit the story, but I try to keep it as accurate as possible.
> 
> There's slight Gilmore Girls references but it's not a GG fic.
> 
> This is a rewrite. If you recognize names, plots, etc. then it's most likely from the original Dreams Don't Sleep I wrote 15 years ago(!), although I'm not sure the platforms those were posted on even exist anymore.

January 2005

It was 5:28 am when Julia woke up to a loud crying. With a groan, she rolled onto her side and blindly reached for the bassinet, gently and slowly swaying it in the hope of calming the young baby. Still though, he only wailed more, and she had to force herself to open her eyes. Wincing at the light chance between her closed eyes and the surprisingly bright room, it only took a quick motion to gently scoop the baby into her arms. With a simple motion that she was quickly becoming used to, Julia began to feed him. Closing her eyes again as she leaned back against the headboard, a soft hum left her lips. She couldn’t tell if she was trying to soothe the boy back to sleep, or herself.

Losing track of time in a situation like this was easy, and that’s exactly what happened. Julia had dozed off, and so had her baby once he had his fill of milk. By the time six am rolled around, she was started awake by her alarm instead of crying.

“All right, love, stay asleep for Mama while she gets ready, okay?” She whispered, smiling down at the peaceful little face of her four month old baby boy. Carefully sliding out of bed, she put the child into his proper crib instead of the small bassinet that sat beside her bed. Mornings like this, it was easier to keep him close rather than on the other side of the room where the crib was stationed.

After the quickest shower she could manage- a mere four minutes- Julia was slipping into her black slacks, eyes staring into her closet as if a shirt option would just pick itself. It didn’t take long for her to give up and grab a black and white polka dot button up blouse. Despite her worry about waking up the baby, she gave her hair a quick blow dry, leaving her hair slightly damp still to save on time. After all, her natural hair with it’s barely-there waves were fine enough. Another few minutes to slap on the most simple makeup and a few pieces of jewelry, and she was satisfied to say that she was just about ready to head off to work by six thirty. A miracle if there ever was one!

“Ray?” Julia lightly knocked on a door down the hallway from her own bedroom, and when she heard a grunt, she peeked inside. “I’m about to head to the hotel, Nathaniel is still sleeping. I fed him about an hour ago so you should be fine for a little while,” Her best friend-slash-babysitter nodded and waved an arm, her small form still buried under a mountain of blankets. The arm reached to the bedside table and grabbed the small monitor, deftly flicking it into it’s ‘on’ position. “Thank you! I’ll call you later.” She grinned at the lump and closed the door behind her to let the girl sleep some more.

Leaving the two bedroom apartment with her briefcase hanging from her shoulder, Julia made quick work of getting into her car and heading towards her job. She was twenty-three years old, a single mother to her little boy Nate, and was the manager at the Dragonfly Inn, a quant but rather posh hotel that served higher class personnel. Everyone from B and C list movie stars to mid-level recording arts, to simply upper middle class folks that wanted to get away, that was right up the Dragonfly’s alley.

They certainly had a huge variety of options at their disposal, the Dragonfly was situated on the edge of Candlewood Lake, with a private vineyard and brewery next door providing a special selection to their clientele.

Fifteen minutes later, she was pulling into a reserved parking spot and was immediately greeted by two guests that she had met earlier in the week.

“Are you two doing the wine tasting today?” She asked, already in professional host mode.

“I think so! I wanted to go to the lake too, but maybe we’ll do that after we drink a little.” The woman answered with a big grin, gently nudging her fiance. The pair had gotten engaged in the very beginning of their stay four days ago, and were clearly head over heels for each other. It almost pained Julia to see two people so in love.

She made her way inside after that, murmuring a quick hello to Michael at the front desk, who was in the middle of jotting down some information in their reservation book.

“How’s it going so far this morning?” All she got in response was a soft sigh, and she watched as he slumped his shoulders, tapping at the book lightly.

“The mayor from two cities over is staying tomorrow evening, we got a call from a record company that they want to put up one of their new bands here for a week while they write their debut album, and a couple D list actors will be staying for the extended weekend.” Julia hummed, pulling out her notebook and making a few notes, reminders of who’s who and if they had stayed there before, what they preferred.

“Great, it’s the same mayor as before, right? Is he requesting the same… discretion?” Clearing her throat, she tried to keep her voice quiet enough that it wouldn’t carry throughout the lobby. If a celebrity or political figure requested discretion or anonymity, you were obliged to give it to them and turn a blind eye.

“Yeah, we’ll be putting him up in the South hall, room twenty three. The D listers will be in the North hall, rooms four and five,” Michael commented, studying the reservation book intently. “The band is splitting rooms eighteen and nineteen in the North hall, which leaves us only two rooms left for the next two weeks.”

Julia nodded, a smile playing at the edge of her lips. Michael could be an intense guy, often very by the books and to the point, but she appreciated that about him. He was one of the best coworkers that she could ask for. “Who’s the band? Anyone we might have heard of?”

“Panic, something or other…” Michael finally stopped poking around the thick notebook and looked at his manager with a disinterested expression. “I haven’t had the chance to search them up online at all, but there is one interesting fact- they were signed by Pete Wentz.”

“From Fall Out Boy?” Julia’s expression fell just enough for Michael to catch it. “Oh, that’s cool.”

And there it was- feigning disinterest. Pretending like the name didn’t matter. She would never admit it, of course, but he knew. Julia had told him the truth, that a year ago she slept with someone in Fall Out Boy, and she didn’t even get a song written about her. Nope, she wound up pregnant. Instead of finding a way to contact the musician, she hid the truth, and set off on the path of motherhood by herself, only the helping hands of her friends and stepmom.

Julia’s dad passed away while she was pregnant, but he was beyond excited to become a grandfather. Julia’s mom, on the other hand… she wasn’t so pleased. There were a lot of insults thrown around, specifically calling her baby a bastard child, calling her a whore for not being married, the list could go on. Despite the fact that her own mother disowned her for falling pregnant, her stepmom stepped up to the plate and took on both roles as grandmother and grandfather, once her husband passed. If it wasn’t for Amelia, Julia would have been lost at sea.

To avoid getting caught up in her memories, she stepped back from the front desk and signaled to her partner that she’d be off to inspect the rest of the Inn.

They took turns, most days, because although Julia was the manager and Michael was her assistant and front desk employee, he was almost better at the job than she was. And whenever she would be ready to move on from her position, she wanted to make sure he was the one to get promoted.

After checking in on the maid staff, the kitchen servers, and answering a phone call from a guest, she was set on making her way to the kitchen to sneak a peek at that day’s menu. Like most days, Julia skipped breakfast until the Inn’s chef, Jasmine, sat her down with a plate. Although they played like it was an excuse for Julia to see what had been served to the guests that morning, the fact of the matter was that Jasmine knew her boss well enough that she would go without eating until about 2 pm; after that, she’d eat anything and everything in sight.

“A simple eggs benedict with sourdough toast and some bacon. Homemade hollandaise sauce,” Jasmine sounded a bit proud, sliding into the seat across from Julia. “Any plans for today?”

“Nothing special,” A soft sound left her lips, clearly pleased with the breakfast. “You really just… mmf, you are magical,” The two grinned at each other and stayed in silence for a few minutes while Julia ate. “I might be leaving early though, Rachel has to head to New York for the weekend to visit her parents, and my stepmom won’t be able to take Nathaniel until tomorrow.”

“How’s the little bubby doing? Is he sleeping better?”

“Thank God, yes! I feed him around midnight, and then he’s waking up around five to feed, but that’s way better than the two am and four am wake-ups he was doing.” Julia shuddered at the memory, recalling how difficult it was for her to fall back to sleep most days.

Jasmine nodded in understanding. “Back when Junior was that age, he would stick to that two hour feeding schedule like he was an alarm clock.” Her son was almost six now, and he was an absolute wild little thing. But in a fun way, mostly.

“Hey, Jules, sorry to interrupt…” Michael spoke up from behind her from the entrance to the dining room. She quickly waved off the apology and motioned for him to continue speaking while she chewed another bite of her breakfast. “I just got a call from Pete Wentz, he’s going to be visiting with that new band, so we might have to shift around some room plans to fit him in.”

Letting out a heavy sigh, Julia pushed away the last of the food and braced herself for an oncoming headache.

Michael filled her in on the Inn’s thirty room plan for the weekend, and how the two rooms that they had remaining were a bit extravagant for Pete’s price range.

“Maybe he can share the room with some of the new band, and one of them can either take a rollaway bed, or share?” Julia suggested, mentally scanning through her knowledge of her hotel and everything she knows about the musician. He was still very humble, after all, they were still a very new band.Their label had put them up in the Dragonfly in an attempt to stabilize the group, and luckily, it worked, and resulted in the album Take This To Your Grave. The fact that he had even signed a band to his own label had to be a major indicator of what was coming for him and his own band.

They kept one of their remaining rooms in their back pocket just in case, but Julia crossed her fingers that he’d agree to one of the easier solutions instead.

Hours passed with little fuss, Michael handling a customer issue, Brian from the brewery-slash-winery next door stopping by with new samples for Julia to try later, a phone interview for a new staff member. By two o’clock, Julia had gotten completely in the zone with her paperwork, and she had forgotten completely that her roommate was leaving for the weekend.

“Julia!” Michael’s voice burst her concentration bubble, snapping her out of her trance. “Rachel is calling, you’re not answering your phone?” She blinked and tapped at her pocket, muttering a swear under her breath when she realized it wasn’t on her.

“It must be in my car, I had it when I drove to lunch…” A pause, and then a flash of realization crossed her features. “Shit! I have to go to Nathaniel!”

Michael clicked his tongue in annoyance, dropping a stack of papers onto her desk for her to take with her. Grabbing her briefcase, Julia stashed away the papers and her laptop as quickly as possible, only briefly stopping to double check her desk.

“Call me if you need me!” She called over her shoulder as she rushed out of her office, not noticing Michael fondly rolling his eyes at her, knowing full well he wouldn’t call her unless he had no other options.

Just as she predicted, her phone was still sitting in the cupholder of her SUV, three missed calls flashing on the screen. Starting up her car and flipping up the screen of her Sidekick, she typed out a quick text to Ray, apologizing for running late.

Half an hour later, she was sitting on her couch, gently rocking her baby in one arm while reviewing some files in her other. It was prepping to be a very busy weekend, and the thought of Pete Wentz continuously popped into her head. She hadn’t seen him or his band in over a year. If she played her cards right, he wouldn’t ever find out that she had a son, who’s father just so happened to be one of his best friends. Keeping Nathaniel a secret was one of her top priorities.


	2. Chances Are...

"Shh, shh, bubby, please…" More wailing and squirming. "Nathaniel, please…" She was practically begging at this point. The baby had been crying for over three hours, unrelentless, not allowing her to get a wink of sleep. Thank god the apartment walls were thick enough that her neighbors weren't too upset, though she had gotten a text asking if everything was okay. At two thirty in the morning. After three am, she sent a reply apologizing profusely.

It seemed as if Nathaniel was in pain, but she had no clue what to do. She wanted to call Jasmine for advice, but it was the middle of the night, and Jasmine had a big event to cook for later, Julia couldn't steal sleep from her friend.

The idea of calling her stepmom popped into her head, but still, it was the middle of the night… But her baby was still crying…

"Hi Amelia, I'm so so sorry to wake you up…" Julia chewed on the inside of her lip, listening to the woman on the other line murmur forgiveness. "Nathaniel won't stop crying, it's been hours… I just don't know what to do anymore…"

Amelia assured her that everything would be all right, that she would be there within ten minutes, and they would get through it together.

Exhausted and worried, she could do nothing but pace as she rocked the boy, still trying to quietly shush him. Eight minutes later, just as promised, Amelia was lightly tapping at the door.

"I'm so sorry-" Julia started, just to get cut off by Amelia's shaking head.

"Don't worry, I raised four babies, I’d like to consider myself an expert." She winked playfully before scooping the boy into her arms, cradling him. She simply listened to the crying for a moment as if she was evaluating it.

"I've fed him, burped him, changed him… I'm just at a loss."

There were a few moments of silence and Julia began to grow worried; if Amelia couldn't calm the baby, what could possibly be going on?

"I think he's got an earache maybe…" She finally spoke up, cradling the boy's head. "He keeps grabbing at his ear whenever there's sound around him."

Sick with worry at this point, Julia took her son back into her arms and kissed the top of his head, holding him protectively.

"My poor baby… Should we take him to the emergency room? Should I call his pediatrician?"

"Let's see if we can get him to calm down for now, do you have a baby thermometer? And let's get a warm compress." From that moment on, the two worked together to calm the little boy. He had a slight fever and refused to have any milk, but they managed to get him calm enough to doze off.

By the time that happened, Julia only had an hour and a half of sleep before her alarm for work went off.

"Are you sure you don't mind? I can go in late, I can take him to the pediatrician with you." She offered, feeling guilty to leave her sick baby with her stepmom for the entire day. 

Amelia frowned at her and shook her head, clearly uncompromising. “You have a busy day at work, you told me all about the type of guests you have. You’re the general manager, they need you. Nathaniel will be safe with me, and if it’s serious, I’ll call you in a heartbeat. I’ll get him to sleep until I can take him to the doctors, you don’t need to worry more than necessary.”

It took another few minutes of convincing before Julia conceded. It took a little more makeup than average to cover up the dark circles under her eyes, a perky pastel top to make her seem more awake.

“I’m scheduled until six, but I’ll leave at the drop of a hat if you need anything at all. And please, please keep me updated on what the pediatrician says. Thank you so much for this, Amelia.” She briefly kissed the woman’s cheek before tenderly kissing her son’s head, stroking the light hair on his head.

Apparently, her effort into her makeup and outfit didn’t pay off too well. At least, not for her coworkers. As soon as she dropped her briefcase behind the front desk, Michael tsked and shook his head, taking her chin between his fingers and evaluating her critically.

“What’s all this about? Did you get a wink of sleep?” All she did was let out a soft sigh and a half hearted shrug, too worn out to get into the details. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep the place together, go take a nap in your office or something. Or go get a giant espresso from the kitchen. You’ll need to be in top shape after lunch.”

Julia swore quietly under her breath, remembering both the mayor was coming, and Pete with his new band. “Can I really take a little nap?” She asked in a quiet voice, as if she was breaking the rules. When Michael sincerely nodded, even lightly pushing her towards the office behind them, she let out a sound of pure relief. Quickly kissing his cheek, Julia reminded him that he could wake her up whenever she was needed. “I won’t be long.”

If she were being honest, it was far from the first time that she had taken a nap in her office. Though, usually, it was because she worked more than her usual ten hour shifts, or back when she was eight months pregnant and overworked, or because she had a newborn baby that woke up every couple hours.

Sinking down into the plush chair in the corner of her office, it took only a few minutes for her to fall into a slumber. Spending the entire night awake with a crying baby took the wind out of her sails. Despite the fact that Julia had only planned to sleep for an hour at most, it was almost eleven in the morning when a gentle knocking on her door woke her up. Julia only managed to hum in answer before Michael opened the door.

“I’m sorry to wake you up hun, but I need you to man the front desk while I help the maids in the South hall. Apparently Seth MacFarlane left his room pretty messy before he checked out this morning.”

Michael stepped in to help her stand, a fond little smile on his lips as he fixed her hair. “Thanks for letting me nap.”

A steaming hot cup of coffee was waiting for her at the front desk, and she was thanking God for her wonderful employees.

Besides the mess in that one room, the rest of the morning went pretty smoothly. There were rave reviews about the lunch that Jasmine had made, which she promptly asked the chef to save what she could, since all Julia had eaten that day was a granola bar on her car ride over. A couple came in asking for a room and got upset when they found out the only two left were both expensive King Suites in the South hall- the more exclusive rooms sat in that hall. A family stopped at the desk to show her the photos they had taken at the picnic spot she suggested the day before.

It was really quite a nice time, letting Michael take control for a while to give her smaller tasks.

He really needed a raise.

That nice time ended just after two pm. A group of rowdy young guys came in, dragging luggage and guitar cases. They were laughing and looking around with a bit too much excitement, and it was easy for Julia to realize this was that band.

Meaning…

"Miss Julia Foreman!" Pete Wentz's bright grin popped into her vision and despite knowing it was going to happen, she still flinched.

"Hey, Mr. Wentz, good to see you again." There was a polite smile on her face, but for some reason, his face automatically fell into a look of disappointment.

"Mr. Wentz? I thought we were friends."

She opened her mouth for the briefest moment, intending to argue against that, before closing it again and plastering on her polite manager smile again. “You know I like to keep an air of professionalism.”

“Really? That’s not what I heard from-”

“Stop right there!” Her eyes were wide as she rushed forward, literally covering his mouth with her hand. “Pete, please, I would much rather never, ever talk about that incident ever again. Please.” Julia was speaking quietly, enough for the group of boys waiting behind Pete to hush their conversation and try to eavesdrop.

“What’s she talking about?”  
“Gossip time!”  
“Pete don’t stop!”

Although Julia didn’t know them, she looked over Pete’s shoulder with a look akin to a glare, at least enough to quiet them down to sneaky whispering.

Pulling away from the bassist and clearing her throat, she adjusted her shoulders and fell back into her manager persona.

“Welcome to the Dragonfly, gentlemen. You’ll be in rooms eighteen and nineteen down that hallway to the left, on the third floor. If you need any assistance with your luggage, just let me know and I’ll have a member of our staff help you. There’s an elevator at the entrance of the hallway, as well,” Taking a heavy breath and looking at Pete again, her eyes didn’t show any playfulness despite there still being a friendly smile on her lips “Mr. Wentz, there’s a couple options for you. Both of their rooms have two full sized beds. You can make two of them share one bed and you take the other, or we can provide a rollaway bed for any member of your party.”

After Julia handed over the keys and gave them time to figure out their rooming situations, as well as getting one of her staff to help with the bags, she stopped next to Pete, who was looking a little forlorn.

“Are we not friends?” He asked, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect himself. “I thought we got along really well, last time I was here.”

“We were, we did,” Chewing on her lip, she leaned her hip against the front desk and relaxed a little. “I enjoyed spending time with you, all of you, I remember you guys even convinced me to watch a movie with you guys in the Inn’s backyard amphitheater. But after the two weeks that you were here, I never heard from you again. Any of you.”

“Even him?” Julia let out a sigh and simply nodded.

“Look, I know that maybe it came across as me and him having feelings for each other or something, but it was more of just an extended one night stand. We had our fun, but it was gone just as quickly as it started.”

Before Julia could continue on expressing how she really felt after those two weeks, the Sidekick in her pocket started ringing, and she murmured a quick ‘excuse me’ before answering.

“Amelia, hey, how’s Nathaniel? Did you take him to the doctor?” A sigh of relief left her lips as Pete watched on, trying not to seem too into her business.

“He’s fine, it’s just a minor ear infection, he’s got a specialized prescription since he can’t take the over the counter baby advil yet. He’s sleeping right now and once he wakes up, I’ll give him a bottle. Don’t you worry about him, he’s going to be totally fine.” The woman reassured her gently, using that motherly voice that always hit home.

“Thank you so much for taking care of him, I’ll make you some really good dinner tonight as a thank you, okay?” Between soft laughter, the two shared a quick goodbye. By the time Julia slid the phone back into her pocket and wiped a hand down her face in relief, she had completely missed the strange look that Pete was giving her.

His band had already headed to the room, leaving the bassist on his own in the lobby.

“Who’s Nathaniel?” He was clearly trying to seem nonchalant, but the excitement for gossip clear in his tone gave him away.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” Julia spoke a little too quickly, straightening up in a way that contradicted her suddenly nervous expression. “So what’s the choice? Rollaway bed or sharing?”

Pete slowly nodded in understanding, realizing that maybe their friendship wasn’t as immediate as he remembered from the last visit. “Two of them will share, it wouldn’t be the first time,” He shrugged slightly and grabbed his duffel from the ground where he had left it earlier. “Sorry, y’know, about not calling.”

“Pete, don’t, it’s fine…” She felt a little guilty for the way she had acted. They had been friends, during that brief time, there was no denying that.

“No, seriously Julia, we should have called. All of us, him too. If you and I get close again, I won’t forget to call you this time. I swear.”

Before she could say anything in response to that, Pete simply turned on his heels and walked away. Julia felt a little at a loss at this point, watching him waiting for the elevator. He seemed so genuinely upset at the fact that he had possibly hurt her. Maybe she should make a bit of effort, too.

After all, phones worked both ways, and she never called either.


	3. Maybe, Maybe

New Years Eve, 2003

“Come on! Come celebrate with us! We heard you just got promoted, so why not?” Julia bit her lip in a poor attempt to hide her grin. Four guys smiled back at her, all of them egging her on.

“I’m supposed to be walking around and mingling with guests to make sure they’re enjoying themselves…” She said, though the playful tone in her voice betrayed her attempt at being serious.

“Well we aren’t enjoying ourselves!” Andy crossed his arms over his chest as if to challenge her.

“I’m considering writing a letter to the owner about how much I liked my stay here, but there’s just something missing from it…” The idea of Pete using his way with words… A letter to the owner like that could easily instill confidence that they were right in promoting her, or just the opposite.

Joe was wriggling his eyebrows in what she assumed was supposed to be a seductive manner, Pete was rubbing his hands together like he was working up some ridiculous plan to distract her if she continued to work, Andy was staring at her challengingly, and Patrick was just… being Patrick. Standing there with a hopeful look on his face, enacting his puppy dog eyes. He knew full well his strong suit was acting adorable, as much as he may have hated to admit that.

“Well, I suppose I can… I’m technically off duty by eleven…” She slowly started to cave, really trying not to feel like she was breaking the rules.

“Great!” Pete’s smile was almost blinding, and he punched a fist into the air. “We’ll get the booze, how about you get yourself dolled up? Khakis don’t really scream ‘New Years!’”

She didn’t know if she should feel offended or not, but silently, she completely agreed.

“If I’m dressing nicely, you boys better be looking good too,” She insisted, narrowing her eyes in a playful manner at their faded jeans and various band t-shirts. “Please tell me that you own clothes that aren’t the Rolling Stones, ripped, or stained.”

There was a little bit of arguing at that point, protesting that they were Misfits or Ozzy Osborne shirts, not the Rolling Stones. Although she had only known the group for four days at this point, she couldn’t help but be enamored. They were such good, fun people, she had the highest hopes for their band. She had heard a little of their music, earlier in the week when they asked if they could practice in the lobby.

She shooed them away, insisting that she really did need to get back to work, at least until she could join them for the midnight celebration in the brewery-slash-winery next door to the hotel.

It had been four days since the band first arrived at the hotel. Three days since they played a few cover songs in the lobby. That day, she started calling them by their first names. It was quite nice getting to know them, they were funny and passionate, a little louder than necessary with a typical teenage boy sense of humor. They were attractive in the typical garage band kind of way, where they weren’t exactly Justin Timberlake, but compared to the Connecticut locals? Yeah, they definitely weren’t hard on the eyes.

Hours passed by rather quickly while she worked, addressing customer issues, spearheading the schedule for the upcoming week to get a head start. When the group of boys came downstairs to get some early dinner from the dining room, she couldn’t help but grin. She had to admit it, she was pretty excited for the party that night. It wasn’t for another half an hour that one of the boy’s sneaked out of the dining room to distract her.

“What’s your favorite drink?” The voice startled her out of her paperwork-filling daze and she blinked, staring at the face in front of her for a moment. “Like, shots, mixed drinks, or..?”

“I kind of like mixed drinks like the ones that are fruity,” Julia hummed, a little smile playing on her lips. “Like cranberry mixed with vodka, that’s just.. Mhmm!”

Joe smirked and pretending like he was writing a note down on his hand. “Check, fruity shit coming your way!” He winked before he headed back to the dining room, probably to get more food.

Although she had wanted to suggest that they could practice their new material in the lobby again, things started to go downhill with the arrival of their New Year’s Eve check-ins. A D-list celebrity was placed into a first floor room and decided to throw a tantrum about it, insisting that they deserved to be on the top floor in the more expensive hall, but refused to pay the price that came along with it. Not only were they making a scene in the lobby, attracting attention from all the guests heading to the dining hall or out for an evening on the town, but they even contacted the owner of the hotel to file a formal complaint against Julia. Thankfully, her boss was on her side. A lot of times, the upper management will comply with a guest to keep them happy, but the King Suites were too expensive for them to comp the room.

“As Mrs. Wilkes said, sir, I can upgrade you to the second floor of the North hall, or you can remain in the room we’ve already assigned and we’ll provide a complimentary wine tasting tomorrow evening.” Julia was literally just repeating what her boss had told the singer, but he still didn’t seem very happy about it all.

“I want the wine tasting and the second room floor, since you won’t give me a third room floor!” He insisted, stubbornly pointing a finger in her face, as if that would sway her.

“Mr. Carter, the third floor is completely booked. In fact, besides the single King Suite you refuse to pay for, the only other room in the entire Inn is the second floor room, or the first floor one you’re already in,” He opened his mouth to repeat himself and she firmly cut him off without hesitation. “I’ll give you some time to think over if you’d rather be on the second floor, or receive the wine package.”

And with that, Julia flashed a polite fake smile and sidestepped the man, making her way to the couches by the fireplace of the lobby. Aaron Carter seemed to be steaming from the ears at that point, but she didn’t really feel like listening to him if he was going to just continue to be angry with her for something she couldn’t change.

“Are you sure that was the right thing to do?” Michael hurried to her side from where he was stoking the logs on the fire. “What if he leaves a negative review?”

“Michael, I can’t let him walk all over me. The King Suite he wants is more than double what he’s paid, we’d be losing a fortune!” Julia closed her eyes and briefly let herself have a moment to breathe in and out. “I appreciate the concern about our reviews, but his impact in the music industry is going further and further into the trash shoot every day. Weren’t you the one who told me that he cheated on Hillary Duff with Lindsay Lohan?”

Okay, so, maybe it was wrong of them to gossip about their guests, especially somewhere as public as the lobby of their mid-level celebrity hotel, but the facts were laid out in all the rag mags.

Snickering, the two exchanged just another moment of gossip before Julia decided to return to the front desk.

“Have you made a decision, Mr. Carter?” Aaron eventually nodded, though he still looked quite furious. “Great, I’ll have our attendant assist you with your bags.” Without even asking, she handed him a key for the first floor room that he had been assigned.

8:40 pm… 9:52 pm… 10:37 pm… Then finally, 11:00 pm hit the clock, and Julia retired for the day.

“I’ll be back!” Julia’s mood perked up, as it always did at the end of her shifts.

“What for?” Roger asked, the manager who worked her opposite shifts. He was signing in for the overnight shift, which was bound to be a long night considering the holiday.

“I’m going to the party next door, actually.”

“Oh, really?” He raised an eyebrow, a smirk on his lips. “With someone special?”

The smile on her face told the truth, but she waved off the comment easily. “I haven’t completely decided yet.” She told him mysteriously, knowing that he’d find out soon enough anyway.

Hurrying out and driving the short distance to her apartment, maybe speeding a little in her excitement, Julia already had a plan. She wasn’t going to have enough time to shower or do her hair any different than the cinnamon roll style bun it was already in, or really doll up her makeup more than just a simple stroke of winged eyeliner and mascara, but her dress would certainly cinch the deal. A little black dress in the most literal sense, thin straps, silhouette hugging every inch and curve of her body, with a pair of simple strappy heels.

Rachel was already out, probably spending the night out clubbing or something, so she didn’t have anyone to ask if it was overkill. But, honestly? Looking into her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she kind of didn’t care. She looked smokin’ hot, and what was a better excuse than a party holiday? Her twenty-second birthday was in just over two weeks time, and she was making friends with a group of fun, chill guys.

Despite the fact that she got ready as quickly as possible and even broke the speed limit on her way back to the hotel, it was almost 11:50 by the time she was pulling into the parking lot.

“Roger! What do you think?” She grinned brightly and did a little spin, jokingly fanning herself as the man wolf whistled in appreciation.

“If I was ten years younger-”

“And not married!”

“Yeah, and that,” He laughed out loud, motioning for her to hand over her purse so he could store it away and she could look like a firecracker without having to worry about it. “Care to share who you’re meeting with?”

“Ah, well, it’s not a boyfriend or anything, I swear,” Julia leaned in and winked. “It’s four.”

Roger’s jaw dropped open slightly, completely startled by that answer. “E-excuse me..?”

And, almost as if she had perfectly timed it, the band came in through the front doors and began cheering when they saw her.

“Holy shit, babe!” Pete was all but literally drooling over her, very clearly licking his lips. Joe was giving her a look like he was dreaming, eyes trying not to focus where they shouldn’t for more than was appropriate.

“Wow, just,” Andy chuckled a little and nodded to himself, slightly tugging at his button up flannel. “I am decidedly under dressed, aren’t I?”

Patrick easily agreed to that, lightly punching his friend’s arm. “Just makes it easier for her to keep her eyes on me, then!” He joked, adjusting the collar of his all black button up.

The young woman leaned against the front desk and let herself take in all four men standing in front of her. Andy was dressed casually, sure, but it definitely worked for him. Joe was wearing a band t-shirt with an ill-fitting blazer on top, while Pete was wearing a surprisingly un-punk striped polo shirt. Patrick was probably the dressiest in his black-on-black ensemble, conveniently matching Julia’s style.

“Gentleman, let’s get the drinks started before midnight strikes!”

That’s all that was needed to get the action started, the group of them leaving Roger behind to join the party just next door.

The brewery was pretty full, with customers from the hotel and plenty of people from the surrounding towns. Luckily, because it was somewhat upscale, Julia wasn’t the most dressed up person in the room. Mini skirts and button ups surrounded them, so really, it was just Pete and Andy that stuck out a little bit. Their myriad of tattoos didn’t help much on that front.

“You really do look fantastic,” Joe murmured, leaning a little closer to her so she could hear over the noise of the crowd. “I’ll get you a drink?” He offered, flashing a smile when she nodded in appreciation.

“You boys dress up pretty nicely, who would have known?” Her voice was clearly teasing, lightly brushing a hand on Patrick’s shoulder as if she was brushing off a piece of fuzz.

“Says the one who wears nothing but slacks!” He laughed a little, very obviously looking Julia up and down, his eyes lingering on her smooth, bare legs. His eyes only snapped out of it after she cleared her throat pointedly.

“At least buy me dinner if you’re going to look at me like that.” Julia winked, although she let herself give him a once over in the same manner. He wasn’t really a bad looking guy, despite the sideburns. A little chubby, and always wearing a hat, even now wearing a black fedora to complete his all black outfit. Her checking him out seemed to make him a little shy, and he muttered something about getting a drink before walking away from her.

Before she could say another word, Joe returned with a glass of beer and clinked it with his own. “Cheers!” 

For no reason but her own entertainment, Julia let her eyes graze over the other three men she was standing with. Being far more subtle this time, none of them seemed to notice that she was taking any interest in them. Don’t get her wrong, she didn’t have foul intentions about her hotel guests, but she was off the clock and making friends with guys around her own age. It was a rare thing around town, frankly, and she wasn’t exactly about to pass up that chance.

After all, fun was fun, no matter who it was with.


	4. Why Not?

New Years Eve 2003

“There’s two minutes ‘til midnight!” A voice announced over the brewery’s speaker system. The televisions scattered around the room showed Times Square preparing for the ball drop.

“All right, I think I need another drink!” Julia announced, having very quickly finished her first. It had been a long day.

The group of guys seemed to be a little startled that she was already ahead of them, but Pete went to grab her another without hesitation. Maybe she needed it more than they realized. They had only known her for a few days, and yeah, she seemed cool, but she also was a very important person at the hotel.

She grinned brightly and said ‘thanks’ when Pete came back with another, playfully winking at him. “One minute! It’s almost 2004!” She said excitedly, shimmying a little.

Maybe she was excited about dressing up, or maybe she was excited about finally getting out of her apartment for some fun, but either way, she was playing it up. Julia looked hot, she felt hot, and she had to admit, she was enjoying the attention that the band was giving her. Usually, she wasn’t the type of person to just go out and flirt, she usually only did that when she went clubbing with Rachel, which was a pretty rare occurrence. But the eyes on her, the occasional brush of Andy’s hand against hers, or Pete’s hand hesitatingly touching her lower back… It was an exciting feeling.

“Can I kiss you at midnight?” Patrick whispered in her ear, glancing at the television as it flashed the seconds down from 30.

Julia hesitated. Sure, she was having fun flirting and teasing, but taking that next step? It could very easily spell trouble, especially because they still had more than a week left on their stay at her hotel.

Instead of answering, she shifted her body, lightly pressing her side against his. The simple movement subtly removed Pete’s hand from her back, and it was free game for Patrick to shyly slide his arm around her midsection.

“Ten!”  
“Nine!”  
“Eight!”  
“Seven!”  
“Six!”

Julia shifted to face Patrick, her body lightly pressed against his.  
“Five!”  
“Four!”

“Three, two, one...” She whispered, the corners of her lips turning up playfully. Without hesitation, Patrick closed the space between them and pressed a surprisingly confident kiss to her lips. Melting into the moment, Julia wrapped her arms around his neck and extended the kiss briefly, until the other three started whooping with a little too much excitement.

Even though they broke the kiss, they didn’t move very far away from each other. Her side was still pressed against his, and his hand was now resting confidently on her hip.

“Grow up, you guys.” Patrick rolled his eyes, making a rude gesture to Pete and Joe as they teasingly wiggled their tongues around. 

“Come on, let’s party!” And with that simple comment from Andy, who was sipping from a water bottle instead of a beer bottle, the group made their way deeper into the crowd. The guy’s didn’t really seem like the dancing type to Julia, but they definitely didn’t seem to mind watching her move to the music pumping through the speakers.

“How do you know this song?” Pete asked Patrick incredulously, watching the singer bob his head and quietly sing the words.

“Just because I’m a part of the Chicago punk scene doesn’t mean I don’t listen to more than just that.”

Julia watched the two bicker for a moment before she couldn’t hold in her laughter anymore, still letting her body sway to 50 Cent. “Haven’t you listened to the radio in the past year?” Pete’s flat expression was all she needed to know. “This is probably the most popular song out there right now!”

Andy was tapping his toes, though he clearly didn’t know the music playing either. Even worse, Joe was practically head banging, moving his body in a way that definitely didn’t match. After another minute, Pete gave in and started moving his shoulders.

With a little more time passing, the guy’s allowed themselves to find fun in the music that they didn’t know. Especially as the drinks started flowing a little more freely, they got more into the vibe of the almost club-like setting. Usually the brewery was calmer, with acoustic covers of classic folk rock songs, but they decided to switch things up for the New Year’s party. It was a welcome change for Julia, who gladly jammed to any and all kinds of music.

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea for her to be drinking that much. She only ate one real meal the whole day, with a couple rounds of snacking here and there, but it certainly wasn’t enough to handle more than just a couple of beers. And on top of that, she was a lightweight to begin with. After her fourth beer, she was starting to feel a little tipsy. While she was getting distracted and lost in the music, her friends- that’s what they were now, right?- started trickling away. First Andy said he wanted to kick back and relax in the hotel room, then Joe said he was going to go chill at the bar and find someone to talk to. Shortly thereafter, Pete muttered something about finding someone to dance with, leaving Patrick and Julia in their own world.

Their bodies swayed together, Julia’s back pressed to his chest, one hand low on her hips while the other rested on her stomach, keeping their bodies close and in time with each other.

After a particularly flirty song that caused a little more physical friction, she turned to him to see a light sweat shining on his forehead.

“How about we get a drink?” She suggested, letting her lips graze against her ear as she spoke, mentally using the excuse of the bar being loud. Patrick nodded and took her hand in his, leading her to the bar. With no seats available, they decided to grab their drinks and head to the enclosed back patio. It was far quieter and much colder, but the chill was a nice change to the hot atmosphere inside.

Julia paused as she was about to sip her drink, glancing at Patrick beside her. “How did you even get this? You aren’t twenty-one yet.”

“Neither is Joe,” He laughed a little, a smirk playing on his lips as he pulled a driver’s license from his pocket. “This though, says I’m twenty-two.” Speaking of Joe, it seemed like the guitarist had found a friend of his own, seeing as there was a woman sitting in his lap, whispering in his ear and playing with his curly hair. His blazer was around her shoulders to keep her warm.

“Wow, you little lawbreaker!” The two grinned at each other and laughed, bodies moving closer to each other without thinking about it. Julia shivered, and it didn’t go unnoticed by Patrick. He didn’t have a jacket to share like Joe did, so instead he scooted his chair closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, gently stroking a hand up and down her arm. She hummed softly in appreciation and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes, simply sipping their drinks and listening to the muffled music from inside.

“How did you end up working at a hotel?”

Shifting, Julia placed a little kiss on Patrick’s jaw. “Ah, well, I grew up in the next town over. I started here when I was seventeen, actually, as a maid.”

“And now, you’re a manager?”

“Assistant manager,” She corrected, a look of confidence lighting up her face in the dark of the night. “I was in dining service at nineteen, manning the front desk at twenty, and now I’m almost twenty-two and I’m basically as high up as I can go.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Patrick frowned a little at her, sensing something akin to disappointment.

“No, no, don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job. And the fact that the owner has so much trust in me that I can do this, it’s overwhelmingly appreciated. But, at the same time… I never went to college. I’m so young. What’s next? Becoming the day shift general manager? I have a lot of respect for Roger, he’s thirty-seven and in a good spot in his life, but I’m not sure this is where I want to spend the next forty years.”

“I get what you mean,” His voice got lower, husky almost, the alcohol starting to have an effect on him. “I never went to college either. If this band doesn’t take off, I’ve got nothing to fall back on.”

Julia snorted softly, raising an eyebrow at the man beside her. “You’re kidding me, right? I’ve heard the album you put out back in.. summer or whenever that was. I’ve heard you practice at the hotel, you guys are great. I don't even know what you're doing with your stay right now, Pete said you're on vacation, but Andy told me you're writing.”

“It's both vacation and writing," Patrick shrugged. "You’ve heard us playing covers, not our new material.” He said pointedly, quickly downing the last of his beer. His newly empty hand rested on her knee, fingers lightly rubbing at the bare skin.

“Hmm, maybe I should hear that new material, then,” Abandoning the rest of her own beer, Julia completely turned in her seat, placing her legs over his. “I wouldn’t mind waking up to the sound of your voice…”

From the look on his face, that was quite a bold line from her, but he didn’t seem to mind. Patrick made a quiet sound of agreement before he pulled her closer and reconnected their lips. They got lost in the moment, Julia’s chair completely abandoned as Patrick pulled her into his lap. His hand went from her knee, slowly sliding up her thigh, teasingly slipping underneath the hem of her dress. She nipped lightly at his bottom lip, pulling away only enough to whisper against his lips.

“Let’s get out of here?”

That’s all it took for the both of them to get up and hurry out of the brewery. Patrick kept a hand on her lower back as the two of them made their way to the hotel. For a moment, he was about to head up to the room he was sharing with Pete, but Julia stopped at the front desk instead. Roger was nowhere to be seen, and she snuck behind the desk to grab her purse.

Before the manager could catch her, she grabbed at Patrick’s hand and pulled him out to the parking lot. Once the two got into her car, the singer seemed to get a boost of confidence, and he couldn’t keep his hands off her. One hand was brushing at the back of her neck, stroking over her bare shoulders. The second hand started at her knee, but it didn’t stay there for long.

Thank goodness Julia didn’t live too far away, because his calloused fingers were quite distracting.

“Shit, Patrick…” She groaned, shivering at the touches. “I’m going to crash if you’re not careful…” All he did was laugh and smirk, leaning across to kiss at her neck.

“You could always pull over…” His husky voice was teasing, but the words were serious. Julia’s hands trembled for a moment, intensely debating that idea.

There was no need to decide, thankfully, because within minutes she pulled into her apartment's parking lot. As she leaned over to grab Patrick's face and kissed him firmly, she realized that neither of them had been wearing a seatbelt. Thank God she didn’t get pulled over, tipsy and no belt? Shit. It played to her advantage though, when Julia decided to climb over the center console to straddle Patrick’s lap. They could have come up with multiple excuses as to why they were both feeling so bold, but it didn’t matter much as his hands cupped her ass through the dress. She knocked off his fedora to give her better access, immediately grabbing at his hair.

There was a solid five minutes of intense making out before they stopped, having been startled by a car driving past their parking spot. Julia had pulled away, eyes wide in surprise at the sound, and let out a soft breath after she realized what was happening.

Quickly placing one more kiss to his lips, she pulled away and opened the passenger side door, smirking as he seemed to dislike her leaving his lap. Julia bent over, letting her cleavage show as she reached to grab her purse. When she stood up, her fingers purposefully brushed against his upper thighs, an innocent look on her face just to tease.

They didn’t need to exchange any words at that point, automatically hurrying into the building. Julia’s apartment was on the third floor, and she wasn’t quite sure if it was a blessing or a curse that the elevator was extremely slow. A blessing because it gave Patrick the time to let his eyes and hands roam over Julia’s dress, but a curse because he could only do so much since they were technically in public still.

“Patrick…” She warned in a shaky voice, one of his hands on her inner thigh, fingers brushing on the baby soft skin.

A sound of relief left her throat the moment the elevator doors opened and she was able to rush down the hallway to her apartment, Patrick following close behind. The door barely closed behind them before her back was pressed against it, the singer’s body against hers. His lips were roaming her neck, niping and lightly sucking on the skin. “Bedroom…” She mumbled, a little afraid to speak in case her voice was as weak as her knees felt.

They stumbled their way down the hallway, bumping into things here and there, still unable to keep their hands, lips, and eyes to themselves. Patrick let go of her long enough to close the door, giving her time to step towards the bed and momentarily out of his reach. She turned to look at him, a smirk playing on her lips as she unzipped her dress, letting it fall to her feet.

That’s all the beckoning that Patrick needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My state (California) is currently under "shelter at home/self quarantine" due to the Corona pandemic, which is giving me more time to write, as well as more impatience when it comes to uploading chapters. I may start posting twice a week, temporarily at least, depending on how much I write.


	5. Playin' It

January 2005

“You should let me love you, let me be the one to give you everything you want and need…” Julia sang softly, little Nathaniel in her arms, smiling and giggling as she danced him around the living room. “Baby, good love and protection, make me your selection, show you the way love’s supposed to be…” From the television, MTV continued to play the song while she hummed, peppering little kisses all over the baby’s face.

“Are you seriously singing Mario to your baby?” The voice startled her and she clutched onto Nathaniel as she spun around. Rachel was standing at the front door of their apartment with her bag in hand, watching the scene with an amused smile.

“I wasn’t singing the entire thing!” Julia laughed, going over to her friend to give her a one armed hug as a welcome home. “You’re home earlier than I expected!”

“Traffic leaving Syracuse was awful, but once I was out of that, it was a piece of cake. Coming into town, I didn’t hit any traffic because it’s already after commute hours.”

Julia glanced at the clock on the wall and nodded, having lost track of the time. It was her day off from the Inn and although she was originally going to let Amelia take care of the baby again, she decided to stay with him since he was still feeling a little achy from his ear problems.

When she had gotten home on Friday, her little boy was still a crying mess, though far less nonstop. The medicine was slowly helping and he was able to keep down some milk, but it was still rough. Thankfully, while Amelia had him Saturday, he finally started to heal and by Sunday, Julia’s day off from work, her baby was almost back to normal.

“How is he?” The two had talked on the phone the day before, Julia crying about being a failure as a mother because she couldn’t figure out what was wrong with her baby without her stepmom’s help.

Nathaniel reached out for Rachel and she eagerly accepted him, swaying him and sweetly kissing his forehead.

“Much better today, right bubby?” Julia lightly brushed at his thin hair, glad to see him and her best friend together. It was wonderful, honestly. After she had gotten pregnant, she was worried that she’d have to move, or that Rachel would want to move out. Lucky for her, her best friend was there through it all, willing to help her through the long nights and the tears.

“After I take a shower and a nap, let’s go shopping, yeah? Mom gave me a gift card to spend on Nate.” It was funny, although the boy was Julia’s, Rachel’s family treated him like he was a nephew or a grandkid, always sending him little gifts here and there. It warmed her heart, especially knowing that her own mother wanted nothing to do with them.

"Go do your thing, babe, I'll put him down for a nap too, then." Carefully scooping the baby back into her arms, Julia headed to her bedroom. She sat in the rocking chair beside the crib and slowly began to rock. The chair was a gift from her father before he passed away, and it felt like a special little moment every time she was in it. Adjusting herself, she began to feed him. With her free hand, she flicked on the little stereo hanging from the crib, playing a cd of lullabies.

In moments like this, she often got lost in thought. His strawberry blond hair, his tiny little fingers and toes… She was absolutely obsessed with this baby, but a part of her sometimes wondered how different things would be if he had never happened. Honestly, she probably would be in the exact same position, just a bit less credit card debt. But more often, she thought of how things would be if she hadn't kept him to herself. She had a number to contact for Fall Out Boy, and she had the number specifically for Nathaniel's father, and yet she never once dialed it. A few times she had typed it out on her phone, but never pressed the call button. The band was taking off, more than just the Chicago punk scene, they actually had fans now. A Myspace following and everything!

She could never willingly ruin that, no matter how lonely or difficult being a single mother got.

After a few more minutes of breastfeeding, she gently detached the half asleep baby and lifted him into his crib, making sure he was positioned properly.

"I love you, bubby." She whispered, placing a sweet little kiss to his forehead before she went to her bed and crawled under the covers, prepared to take a little bit of a nap too.

Her attempt at dozing didn't last long. The sidekick vibrated on the side table, alerting her that she had a new text. Michael had reminded her of the interview they had conducted the other day and how she had accidentally taken the forms with her instead of leaving them in the office.

Quickly typing back that she would drop the papers off in about an hour or two, Julia rolled out of bed in search of her briefcase. Thankfully it was right where she left it next to her dresser, and the papers in question were sitting in a folder right at the front. With that knowledge, she simply left it all in the briefcase and crawled back into bed, eager to take an hour to rest.

It was getting close to noon by the time that she woke up from her nap, nearly an hour and a half after she had texted Michael. Stretching and humming softly, Julia padded over to her dresser and pulled out a simple pair of light blue jeans and an oversized emerald green sweater. She picked out a gray hoodie and black pants for her baby, quietly and carefully waking him up. She silently hoped he wouldn’t throw a tantrum, and to her luck, he only whined and wiggled for a few minutes while she was changing his diaper and dressing him in the new clothes.

“Shh, love,” She murmured while cradling him against her chest, kissing the top of his little head. “Didn’t you have a nice little nap? Mommy and auntie want to take you out and spoil you.”

As she lightly bounced the baby in her arms to get him to calm down, Rachel knocked on her door and peeked her head in. “Ready to head out? We can get lunch if you’re hungry.”

“That sounds fantastic, but first I need to stop at the hotel. I have to drop some papers off with Michael.” Rachel agreed and grabbed the prepared baby bag from the hook on the wall, slinging it over her shoulder. Julia grabbed her briefcase and the two girls headed out. Julia handed over her briefcase so she could strap Nathaniel into his car seat. Climbing into the passenger seat, Rachel started the car and headed towards the hotel.

“What paperwork are you dropping off?”

“We’ve been interviewing a girl to work the front desk and I’ve got the policy papers for her to read and review. Once she gets trained, I’m planning to promote Michael to assistant manager.”

Rachel looked at her with a small frown. “Isn’t he already?”

“No, not yet. After I got the general manager position back in November, we haven’t had anyone in that position. Michael’s been great, stepping up to the plate as my assistant, but I want to give him the title and pay that he deserves.”

“I still can’t believe you’ve been promoted so much,” She noted, stopping at a red light and glancing over her shoulder at the baby. “I remember when we first moved in together, and you were thinking you’d never get past being a maid.”

“And a few months after that, I was working with the dining room staff!” Julia grinned, feeling proud of herself with Rachel’s help.

“I feel like you’ve beaten so many odds. The fact that you still got promoted even after having Nathaniel, and you’re a great mom, even though you’re doing this without Patrick.” Julia flinched at the name, startled by it. It was rare that anyone actually brought up him specifically, usually just referencing him as ‘Nate’s father’ or something a little more obscure.

“It’s not like a rock star would be a great dad…” Mumbling her words, she was trying to end the conversation, really not feeling like talking about this subject. And as they pulled into the Inn’s parking lot, she was reminded again about why she wanted to avoid it. Pete was walking through the lot with the boys from Panic! At The Disco following him, the group having quite the animated conversation.

Rachel turned off the car and looked over at her friend, sighing softly. “I know you don’t really mean that.”

Getting out of the car, Julia waved off the comment and began to unhook Nathaniel.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s not like Nate’s father and I were in love or anything. Like yeah, we got along pretty well, we had some really great nights while he was around, but that’s about it.”

“Did you not have feelings for him? At all?” Julia shrugged a little, chewing on her lip. Rachel climbed out of the car and took Nathaniel from her so she could grab the briefcase.

“We didn’t really have enough time to get to know each other,” She led her friend into the building, digging the file out of her bag. “Maybe there were some feelings, but I’d say it was mostly a... physical relationship.”

Michael immediately called out for her, a surprisingly happy expression on his features as the girls walked in. “You brought Nathaniel!” He cheered, hurrying over to the two and scooping the baby into his arms. “Hello little man, how’re you feeling, hm?” 

The little boy giggled and grabbed at Michael’s tie, clinging on and smiling his little toothless smile.

“Michael, I’ve got that file,” Julia smiled and waved it once before setting it down on the front desk. “After Miss Martin passes the background check, and fills these forms out, we’ll be ready to offer her the position-”

“There’s a baby!” The voice startled Julia so much that she physically jumped, turning around to see Pete and the Panic guys. “Who’s baby is that?”

Before anyone could dare say Julia’s name, she spoke up. “It’s Rachel’s,” Her eyes flickered to her best friend, wide and urgent. “She’s my roommate, and um, since I have the day off, we’re just hanging out.”

Even though Rachel was clearly annoyed, she plastered on a bright smile and introduced herself to each of the boys. “Yep, he’s mine. Little Nathaniel.. Jones.” Pete frowned at the name, staring at Julia in confusion.

“Great, so um, you’ve got the file you needed Michael, call me if you need anything else,” Julia chuckled awkwardly and rubbed her hands together as she took the baby back into her arms. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow, I suppose.”

And with that, Julia nodded her head in goodbye and immediately headed for the door. Her best friend hurried to catch up with her, dropping the smile and full fledged showing her annoyance.

“What the hell was that?”

“Wait until we’re in the car,” Julia glanced over her shoulder and saw the guys still hanging in the lobby. “Please.” Rachel dumped the baby bag in the back seat and got into the driver’s seat, impatiently tapping the steering wheel while waiting for Julia to buckle up Nate and climb into the passenger’s seat.

“So?”

“I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know why I said that,” Julia paused as the car started moving. “That’s a lie. I know why. I’m not ready for Pete to know that I have a kid.”

“That’s it? Seriously?”

“I mean… I’m not ready for the questions. Like yeah, he’s a young guy, not exactly the brightest bulb, but he’s not an idiot. Even if he doesn’t automatically assume who the father is, I don’t feel comfortable having him know about Nate even when Patrick doesn’t.”

Rachel sounded interested, humming. “Are you planning to tell Patrick, then?”

“No,” Julia answered immediately. “I still see absolutely no reason that he should know about him. Look, I won’t tell people you’re his mom anymore, I just didn’t want too many questions.”

The two sat in silence for a good five minutes before Rachel sighed softly.

“It’s okay, y’know, I understand,” Her voice was softer, trying not to sound like she was still annoyed. “You’d rather be safe than sorry.”

Julia smiled appreciatively and reached over to squeeze her best friend’s hand. “I’ll figure things out. I may not be ready yet, but I won’t keep lying about Nate. I’m proud to be his mother, and I shouldn’t let his father get in the way of that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this earlier in the day than originally planned because I've got so many ideas churning in my head and I'm trying to pump out some work, and if I don't post this now I'll probably forget.
> 
> Also! Patrick will be showing up soon, I swear! And not in a flashback this time. In an attempt to work on my personal issue of speeding through plots/scenes, this fic is getting hit with some possibly boring moments. I'm still pleased with what I'm producing, but it might be far less interesting for you guys to read than it is for me to write.


	6. I Guess So

Apparently, Rachel’s parents were serious about spoiling Nathaniel like he was their actual grandchild. It wasn’t just a twenty dollar gift card for Babies-R-Us, it was fifty bucks, and a giftcard for Target too, for a hundred and fifty bucks.

“You’re kidding, right?” Julia stared at her best friend, completely in awe.

“They said it’s for a few things. Between your promotion and Christmas, and your birthday just passed too,” The girl shrugged, not seeing the big deal. The two of them were practically sisters, having known each other for over a decade. “Fifty for each thing. The one rule they gave was that you can’t spend more than half of it on baby stuff, you have to spend it on yourself.”

“As if I could ever deny a shopping trip!” She grinned brightly, adjusting Nathaniel in the carrier on her back before grabbing a shopping cart.

Usually, when she shopped, she focused more on necessities, like shampoo or work blouses, but with a little help from Ray, she was going for the cute mustard colored sweater, tall brown boots, and even some new lingerie.

“All purple, or the black and blue?” She held up the bra, pretending she was modeling.

“The purple doesn’t have matching panties, but the black and blue does!” Rachel teased, holding up the little undies.

Maybe they were a little too close, but Rachel knew Julia enough to know that matching sets were her weakness. On the rare occasion that she went out or dressed up, she couldn’t resist a combo piece. There were a couple new cute tops and a new pair of jeans before her motherly instincts kicked in and she used the rest of her gift card on baby formula.

It was rounding on close to six pm when they finally parked back at their apartment. Between lunch and shopping, they had been out together for longer than they have been since probably before Nathaniel was born.

"Oh, ho, ho, it's okay, sweet prince," Julia cooed as she unbuckled a crying Nathaniel from his carseat. "I'll change your diaper and put you to bed in just a minute, okay?"

Leaving her briefcase in the car, she slung the baby bag over her shoulder and flashed a smile to Rachel, who was busying herself grabbing the shopping bags.

“Do you want to order in for dinner?” Rachel asked, ignoring Nathaniel’s whining. It was clear the poor thing was just tired, and he was going to keep complaining until he was put to bed.

“I’m not feeling pizza…” Someone in the lobby of the apartment gave Julia a dirty look for not shushing her crying baby, but she ignored the glare. “Maybe Chinese? Chicken chow mein sounds delicious right now.” Her friend hummed in agreement and they matched smiles, heading up to the third floor via the still ridiculously slow elevator.

“I’ll order while you put him down, then we should try on the new stuff we bought!”

Julia laughed softly and raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Seriously, a fashion show?”

“Just like we used to do! Come on, we haven’t done it in ages!” Julia was clearly hesitating, rocking the crying baby in her arms as she fiddled with the door, pushing it open after a second. “We can pop open a bottle of wine, eat the Chinese food, watch reruns, like we did before Nate…”

It got more and more tempting the more that Rachel added on to the plans, and bringing up the memories of what they did before she got pregnant made it even more tempting. “Ah hell, why not!” A grin blossomed on her lips and she nodded, murmuring something about dealing with Nathaniel first as she disappeared down the hallway into her bedroom.

Nathaniel’s crying was interrupted by hiccups, his little arms smacking at Julia’s hands as she undressed him. “Now come on, bubby, if you want to sleep, you need a clean diaper,” She murmured, taking one of his little hands and kissing it sweetly. It took a little extra time since he was wiggling around, but she managed to get him changed and dressed in a sleep suit. “There we go… Time to sleep…” Carefully setting him into his crib, she started to hum a song under her breath. The baby squirmed a little before settling down, getting comfy. It only took a few minutes for him to start to doze off.

“Julia!” Rachel grinned once they were both in the living room. “The food is on the way, and that bag there has the clothes you bought. I’m going to go try on my new jeans!”

Grabbing her own bag, she went back to her bedroom to change into one of the outfits. The two met back in the living room and modeled for each other, goofily twirling and posing. By the time they had stepped out in their second outfits, there was a knock on the door. “Food’s here!” Julia cheered, quickly grabbing the food and paying the delivery man.

While chilling in their outfits, they absently chatted and enjoyed their food. Rachel had put the radio on in the background, some random Green Day song playing. 

“So, how’s mom and dad?” Julia asked, obviously referring to her friend’s parents and not her own.

“They’re good, they’re planning a trip to Hawaii for Valentine’s day next month. They were asking me to babysit Georgina, but she’s seventeen now!” Ray rolled her eyes and kicked her feet up onto the coffee table. “Plus I’m not sure I’ll be able to take a week off work, the bar is losing one of the servers and I’ll have to help pick up the extra slack.” Rachel was a bartender in addition to being Nate’s babysitter most days, it’s why she usually slept in when Julia was leaving for work.

“Georgie can always come stay with us for a week, if she wants to,” Julia offered, smiling a little. “She hasn’t had the chance to meet Nathaniel yet!”

“Ooh, you’re right! I’m gonna text her…” She murmured, immediately burying herself in her phone. “She’ll probably call tonight, once her minutes open up.”

A couple hours passed by, the girls listening to music and simply chatting. Rachel sharing stories of her trip, Julia talking about events at the Inn, the whole mess with the mayor being in town. Even though she couldn’t spill the beans on who it was, she sneakily leaked some details, like what kind of discretion the man asked for.

“No way!” Rachel gasped, lightly slapping at the other’s arm. “He seriously..? And no one knows?”

“Just me and Michael, and Roger and Melissa from closing,” There was a playful little smirk on her lips as she leaned back in her seat, knowing it was a good bit of gossip. “And you wouldn’t believe what he asked for this time…”

At the end of her little story, Julia glanced at the clock on the wall and realized just how late it was starting to get. “Oh crap, I should get to sleep!” She groaned softly and dumped the remnants of food packages onto the coffee table in front of her. “I can’t be late for work tomorrow, I’ve got a conference call in the morning. Are you gonna stay up?”

“No, I’ll probably head to bed too, the nap I took earlier wasn’t enough to keep me up all night.”

The two parted, and within ten minutes, Julia was laying in bed, blankets pulled up under her chin. But she wasn’t asleep. Her mind was still running at full speed, thinking over what had happened at the hotel earlier that day.

Abruptly saying that Rachel was Nathaniel’s mother, avoiding eye contact with Pete even. What was the big deal? It’s not like her being a mother would change anything. It’s been a year since she saw Patrick, would Pete even put two and two together and figure it out?

And Patrick… God, he wasn’t her boyfriend. Never had been. It was literally just a week of fooling around, so why was she feeling guilty for keeping Nathaniel a secret? He was her baby! For so many months, she had felt perfectly justified in her decision to keep the singer out of it, but now... 

Things were just going to get more complicated.

“God, I shouldn’t have lied, I should have just said something else…” She groaned softly and turned onto her side, falling into a fitful sleep.

A wailing woke her up suddenly, causing her to sit up like a loaded spring going off.

“I’m up! I’m up!”

It took her a good thirty seconds to process that it was her son crying, and she hurried out of bed to take care of the little thing. After the routine of changing his diaper and feeding him, she stared at the red numbers of the clock on her bedside table. They were almost shouting at her that it was six fifteen. Her alarm had already gone off, and she had stayed in the same place, zoning out. She had a call at seven thirty that she had to be at work and prepared for, but God, she just couldn’t manage to get herself moving.

It was nearing six thirty by the time she pushed herself out of the sitting position on the edge of her bed and to her closet. Instead of actually taking the time to pick out her outfit, Julia grabbed the first items she could- a pair of grey heathered slacks and a solid black blouse. Good enough. Tossing her hair into a ponytail and slipping on some short black heels, she was ready to go.

“I’m heading out,” Julia softly called into Rachel’s room, seeing the familiar sight of the girl still in bed reaching out to turn on the baby monitor. “Love you!” She called out as she grabbed a granola bar from the counter in the kitchen.

Even as she was driving towards the Inn, she still felt a little dazed.

Ever since the night before, thinking of Patrick, it felt like the moments were all blending together. But she had to shake it off, readjust and realign.

“Nothing’s going to change. If he, or anyone else, finds out the truth, nothing will change. He’s still my baby, no one else’s.”

Perhaps talking to herself wasn’t exactly the most sane solution to her problems, but it certainly seemed to get her straighened up. By the time she was pulling into a parking space in front of the Dragonfly, she felt more put together, almost normal again.

“Good morning!” She greeted the front desk with a smile, having forgotten until that exact moment that Michael had the day off, and it was Cameron working today. He was a nice young man who usually worked night shifts, but worked once or twice a week to cover Michael. “I’ve got a conference call with Mrs. Wilkes soon, so I’ll be in my office for most of the morning. If there’s any calls or customer needs that you can’t handle, just write them down and I’ll handle them when I’m done.” He nodded and flashed a smile at her.

Quickly dropping her briefcase in her office, she rerouted herself to the kitchen to steal a cup of fresh coffee from Jasmine.

Fifteen minutes later, she was sitting in her office, notes in hand as she sipped her coffee.

“Good morning Julia!” The voice coming through the phone was pleasant, loosening the tension in her shoulders.

“And good morning to you, too, Mrs. Wilkes.”

“Before we get started, I have a big announcement. I’ve made the decision to step down as owner of the Dragonfly, as well as my other hotels. I’ve found a replacement that will step up and take over. Now, I’ll be staying on as a board member, but this gentleman will be taking over all of the hotel operations.”

“I’m going to miss you!” Julia frowned a little and leaned forward, elbows on her desk. “Who’s the new owner? Have I worked with him before?”

“You probably have, he worked there many years ago before he came to New York to work with me at the Independence Inn,” Julia’s heart seemed to skip a beat for a moment, silently praying that it wasn’t who she was thinking of. “His name is Anthony Lee. He’ll be stopping by in a couple weeks to see how your operations are going and…”

Mrs. Wilkes' voice faded away into the distance, still talking and giving pointers about the new owner. She didn’t seem to notice that Julia wasn’t listening anymore.

Anthony Lee was her ex-boyfriend, and he was not a nice man. She was nineteen and working in the dining room as a server, he was twenty-six, the assistant manager working the front desk and customer relations. She didn’t know for four months that he was married with a child, until one morning, she had answered Anthony’s phone while he was in the shower, and it was his wife calling.

The two had gotten into a big blow out fight, with Julia shouting at him to leave, Anthony trying to convince her it wasn’t what she thought it was. And when she wouldn’t listen, he shoved her against the wall and smacked her. And when she finally got him to leave, he had completely disappeared. While he was off at his new hotel, she had to change the door locks and her phone number, terrified of what would happen if she saw him again.

And now he was going to waltz back into her life like nothing had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra chapter this week just because~


	7. Holy Moly

Somehow, Julia had made it through the rest of the phone call, conversing properly with Mrs. Wilkes about the day-to-day operations, filling her in on the employee they were in the process of hiring.

As soon as she hung up the call, her entire body sunk into the seat, as if she was trying to bury herself in it.

Shit, first she got it into her head that maybe she should tell Patrick that he’s a father, and now her ex is going to be stopping by? All Julia could do was pray that he had changed in the past couple of years, because she couldn’t deal with all of that drama again.

A knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and she pushed herself upright, trying to regain some air of professionalism.

“Come in.”

“Sorry Julia, if you’re done with your phone call, a guest wants to speak with you personally about a reservation.” Cameron flashed a small smile, and Julia nodded, running a tired hand over her face before she stood up from her desk.

Groaning softly as she stretched her arms over her head and walked out to the front desk, her arms suddenly dropped when she saw Pete Wentz waiting for her.

“Julia, there you are!” He had a big goofy grin on his face.

“Mr. Wentz, good to see you again,” She started, a small smile on her lips. Even with her mind overwhelmed with thoughts, his positive attitude had an effect on her. “What can I help you with?”

“We’ve discussed the Mr. Wentz thing.” Blinking at her, he crossed his arms over his chest, waiting for her to correct herself.

She paused and used all her strength to keep from rolling her eyes at him. “Pete, how can I help you?”

“Much better!” Pete laughed out loud, making her own smile widen a little. “So the band and I are planning to write our next album, and we were hoping we could stay here to write it. After all, we had such a good experience last time, and we weren’t even trying to write back then!”

“Oh,” Pete didn’t notice her smile faltering or her eyelid starting to twitch. “Um, yeah, let me just…” Her hands were fumbling with the binders on the desk until she found the right one. “So, right, when were you wanting to stay..?”

Leaning against the desk and humming, he glanced at the complicated looking calendar in her binder. “I was thinking of the beginning of February, if you’ve got the space. Our label wants another album out in either spring or summer and we’ve got some stuff written already, but we’re kind of behind, and we really need to get in the zone, y’know? And we got in the zone last time, we were supposed to just be finding our groove as a group and we ended up writing some dope shit back then, too!” He rambled, letting his hands do just as much talking as his mouth did.

“Okay, okay, take a deep breath Pete,” Julia chuckled softly and scanned her pages, able to decipher the scribbles much easier than the bassist would be able to. “We’ve got two rooms side by side on the first floor available starting February second, would that work for you guys?”

Pete nodded eagerly, pulling his cell phone from his pocket and dialing a number quickly. “Let me just get the guys on the line…” Tapping the pencil in her hands against the papers, she watched as he greeted one of his friends, relaying the information. “How long do you think? … Yeah, well, they’re expecting us to bust it out sooner rather than later… Sweet dude! I’ll book it!”

“So?”

“Patrick said we should stay from then to the sixteenth, we should be able to get most of it figured out by then, and when we go back to Chicago we’ll be able to hit the recording studio immediately!”

He seemed really thrilled about the idea, so much so that he didn’t notice Julia’s strained expression. Hearing Pete even just saying Patrick’s name, knowing he had been on the phone line three feet away… God, what was coming over her? This overwhelming sense of dread? Or was it desire? She was too much of a mess to properly understand.

Julia busied herself with the binder, using the hotel’s custom shorthand to take notes. It was short notice to get reservations, only a week away, but it was the slow season so they had a small amount of availability.

“There you go, all penciled in.” She flashed a closed-lip smile, still fidgeting with the pencil.

“You’re awfully quiet,” Pete mused with a little frown, staring at her as if he was trying to read her mind. “Oh! I get it! Don’t worry, Patrick doesn’t have a girlfriend, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind picking up where you guys left off.”

Julia coughed in surprise, choking on air. Lightly patting herself on the chest and trying not to look too startled, she laughed weakly, waving a hand dismissively.

“No, no, God, Pete! I’ve got other things on my mind, it’s not just Patrick-”

“Hah! So Patrick is a part of what’s on your mind!”

Damn, caught red handed.

“It’s not what you think, Pete, seriously. Things are far more complicated around here than you think, and seeing Patrick again…” Her hesitation gave way for Pete to lay on the teasing, thick.

“Oh Julia, I’ve missed you,” He said in a high pitched voice, as if he was attempting- poorly- to imitate his friend. “Oh Julia, let’s lock Pete out of his own hotel room for the whole night again! Oh Julia, let’s have wild-”

A hand clamped over his mouth to keep him quiet, and it was hard for him to not double over laughing. The look on Julia’s face was too much for him to handle, making him snicker goofily, almost giggling.

“I swear Pete, you need to stop!” Her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment, slowly removing her hand when a couple guests were giving her strange looks. “I don’t exactly need the entire hotel to know I slept with one of my guests, okay?” Despite the fact that he was nodding in agreement, he was giggling like a school boy.

“All right, all right, I’ll lay off!”

“Oh! Before you go, I was wondering if that new band you’re with has any material they’d like to try out?”

Pete looked confused for a minute. “They’re not old enough to play at the brewery, they don’t all have fake IDs like we did.”

“No, no, I mean here. In the backyard, where the movie projector is,” Julia motioned for him to follow, and she led him out to the back patio of the hotel. “We’ve added a little stage, see?”

He grinned widely and walked up to the small square stage, just to the left of the projector screen.

“This is dope! I’m sure they’d love to play a couple songs! I know they have a few original songs, but could they do some covers too? I don’t think the new songs are polished like the boy’s want. They still haven’t played a live show yet.”

Pete hopped up onto the stage and walked around with his hands on his hips. Suddenly he jumped and faced Julia, pretending to jam on an air guitar. He was even head banging and spinning in circles like a maniac. If Julia hadn’t watched their performance at the brewery a year before, she would have thought he was insane.

“God, you’re just a total embarrassment to yourself,” She laughed brightly at his antics, taking a big step back when he jumped off the little stage with a flourish. “How does the rest of your band handle you like this?”

“Ah, maybe you’re forgetting, young Jules, but they’re just as weird and annoying as I am!” She rolled her eyes and made her way back inside the Inn, Pete following at her side. “Don’t you remember? Whenever we weren’t holed up in one of our rooms writing, we were making your life a living hell.”

“And enjoying it!” Julia argued, trying to be angry, but failing. “You followed me around one day, for at least two hours, whispering behind my back and then shutting up whenever I’d turn to look at you.”

“That was an eventful day.” He hummed thoughtfully, a little playful smirk on his lips.

“Then there was the day that you went around hiding every single pen and pencil! I swear, sometimes it felt like I was babysitting a bunch of preschoolers.” She shook her head as if she was disappointed, but her expression made it clear that she was teasing.

“Hey now, that one was all Joe’s idea!” He accused, winking at her playfully.

As they walked into the lobby again, she left Pete to go and mingle with some other guests. He watched her for a moment, a pleased little smile on his face. She was starting to open up again, getting teasing and playful the way she had been before.

Despite the very busy morning, the rest of the day was thankfully pretty slow.

Unfortunately, though, that meant that Julia had extended periods of time to think. Normally she’d be catching up on the paperwork she hated doing, or getting ahead of schedule on files, but she couldn’t concentrate. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another, but for some reason it seemed like everything wanted to pile up at once. Not only did she have to deal with Pete being around and making her feel guilty for who knows what, but there was the impending doom of both her new boss-slash-ex-boyfriend coming to visit, and the guy she secretly had a baby with was going to be around for two weeks.

“I’m not a bad person, am I?” Julia asked over the phone later when she called Rachel to check in.

“What? Of course not! What makes you think such a stupid thing?”

“I don’t know, maybe I did something wrong, and now all this bad karma is coming for me.” She mused with a heavy sigh. Shivering a little at the breeze that blew through the back patio, she sat on the edge of the small stage and stared at the blank projection screen.

Julia could hear a bit of shuffling on the other end of the phone before Ray spoke again. “Okay, rewind and replay, what in the world are you going on about? Is this about lying to Pete about Nathaniel?”

“No,” She started only to pause and shake her head. “Yes. Partially.”

“Jules, babe, use your words, form some sentences here, because I’m lost.” Julia could hear her son giggling on the other end of the phone and it caught her off guard, the feeling of peace washing over her for a brief moment.

“Yes, it’s partially about the lie. I can’t stop thinking of how awful it felt to hide Nathaniel, like I was ashamed or something. You know I’m not!” Julia stood up and started pacing the yard. “How awful would it be if Patrick knew the truth? It’s not like I’d be asking for help or money or for him to even publicly acknowledge anything. Just his own personal knowledge, and for me to know that my baby’s father isn’t in the dark.”

Both of the women stayed silent for a moment, Rachel letting Julia have a second to process her own words.

“You know I’d support you, no matter what choice you made,” Her friend’s words were comforting.

“Just… fuck…” Julia sighed softly, stopping her pacing steps to sit back down on the little stage. “I haven’t felt this conflicted since I was four months pregnant. Even right after Nate was born, I was insistent that Patrick didn’t need to know.”

“You don’t have to solve everything right now, Jules. There’s no rush to admitting the truth.”

Julia hesitated at that, watching as the guys from Panic! At The Disco stepped into the backyard to prepare for their little set. She pushed herself off the stage and smiled at them briefly before walking further into the back yard area, hopefully out of their hearing range. They didn’t seem to be paying her any attention, anyway.

“He’s coming here,” She finally said, voice seeming a little nervous. “In a week. In seven days, he’s going to be here in front of me again.”

“Oh,” Was all Rachel said, sounded a little flustered by that news. “Well… We’ll figure it out, I’ll do whatever I can do help you girl, you know that.”

She smiled a little and murmured a small ‘thanks’, turning to look at the band when she heard her name being called. “Oh, I’ve got to go, I’ll be home about an hour late maybe, but not too much later than that.”

Helping the group set up was pretty easy, all she needed to do was get them some chairs to sit in and give them permission to play a mix of their original works and covers.

“We’re doing Camisado, right?” One of the guys asked, fumbling with his drum pads.

“Yeah, and I want to play Lying Is The Most Fun…” This one grinned, looking quite mischievous. It worried Julia for a moment.

“What have you got planned?” She crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrow at the young man. Julia made sure to look firm.

The two holding guitars exchanged looks before one of them looked a little embarrassed, the other still looking like he was ready to break the rules. “Oh, it’s nothing, it’s just a new song we wrote. A really fun one!”

“Want to hear the lyrics first..?” The embarrassed one asked, giving her an awkward but reassuring smile.

She nodded, trying to keep her expression blank. The one who was trying to act sneaky was apparently the singer, because he immediately dove into the lyrics. “Is it still me that makes you sweat? Am I who you think about in bed-”

“Dear Lord,” Julia interrupted, her expression looking more scandalized than surprised. “You absolutely can not play that song! I don’t know how much you gentlemen have seen of the other guests here, but this is definitely not the kind of place to have those kinds of lyrics. You’re more than welcome to sing anything that’s not sexual, or drug-related.”

Lucky for her, Melissa, the night assistant manager, showed up to take charge of the little concert.


	8. Drumroll Please

February 2005

Julia woke up on the second of February much earlier than she really needed to be. Her alarm wasn’t set to go off until six in the morning, but she was already showered and dressed before it even went off. For no reason in particular, she decided to spend a little extra time straightening her hair and applying her makeup.

There was no reasoning for it, honestly, she just had the extra time. Nathaniel was still asleep, not yet having any issues with sleep regression, and she looked to all the world like the most relaxed she had been in ages.

To be completely honest, though, she was a frazzled mess on the inside. Things had been going well for her. “Had” being the key word. Despite her mild freak out over whether or not to tell Patrick that he was a father, everything was starting to plateau again, much to her pleasure. The rest of Panic! At The Disco’s stay was easy, hardly seeing the boys or Pete, and within a couple of days they were out of her life just as quickly and quietly as they had entered it.

Pete was a little less quiet, though. He kept insisting that he’d stay in contact with her, insisting that when Fall Out Boy came to stay again it would be just like their vacation trip two years prior.

She didn’t believe a word of it.

Things weren’t the same as they were two years ago. She was the general manager now, not the assistant manager. They weren’t some small time Chicago punk band that had put out just one record- well, that part hadn’t really changed too much yet, but they had a bigger fanbase now. She was a mother. Patrick wasn’t a father. They weren’t the same people they once were.

The five days without a single musician in her life were some of the best days she had had in recent months.

Until Michael had decided to remind her that Fall Out Boy was arriving soon. Julia would swear that he brought them up just to see the panicked look on her face.

Kissing her sleeping baby’s forehead and greeting her roommate with the usual “I’m heading out!”, Julia felt like she was on autopilot the entire drive to the Inn. Her mind was racing with so many thoughts it was almost like she had no thoughts at all.

It wasn’t until she joined Roger at the front desk that her brain seemed to catch up with the world around her. “What’s going on?” She asked in a quiet voice, seeing a mess of luggage and clothing strewn out in the lobby besides one of the couches.

“Apparently a husband found out his wife has been cheating on him, and they’ve decided to display their embarrassment in our lobby.” Roger sighed, sounding oddly mixed between bored and entertained.

“And you haven’t stopped this display because..?” Even though she was trying to sound like she was upset about this whole thing, she really was guilty of being a bit of a gossip.

Roger gently nudged her side and smirked playfully. “Oh come on, how often do we get to see this? Besides, they’re checking out today anyway,” Grabbing the schedule binder and staring at it until she found the right information, she hummed softly in understanding. It would be easier to let it happen instead of interfering and possibly dragging it on longer. “Hey wait, what are you doing here so early? I thought you weren’t going to be in for another couple hours...”

It wasn’t until that moment that Julia glanced at her watch and realized it was barely even six thirty. She wasn’t supposed to be in until nine.

“Oh, um,” Scratching her arm, she shrugged a little and tried to brush off the eyebrow raise he was sending her. “I couldn’t sleep. Nathaniel was still sleeping and I didn’t want to wake him up. I thought I could get a head start on the paperwork to promote Michael.”

The man simply hummed in response and motioned her towards the office, clearly not believing her claims. Everyone knew that Fall Out Boy was starting their stay that day, and they all knew who her baby daddy was.

Without answering Roger’s questioning looks, she ducked into the office as quickly as possible.

In retrospect, she would have gotten more work done if she had just stayed at home. She could be wearing sweatpants and filling out the papers in her reclining chair, but instead she was sitting in her somewhat uncomfortable office chair in a skirt and pantyhose.

Over the next couple of hours, Roger cleaned up the mess of a couple in the lobby, diffused a situation in the dining room where someone had insisted on drinking their personal alcohol with breakfast, and left when Michael showed up for his shift at eight thirty.

“Good morning!” Julia was extremely cheerful, slapping a small stack of papers in front of her coworker a little too eagerly.

“Aren’t you just a little ball of sunshine this morning?” He grumbled, clearly still feeling half asleep. She just silently accepted his snarky reply and kept smiling, making a beeline for the kitchen. Grabbing two cups of coffee and heading back towards the front desk after a minute of doctoring them up, she placed one in front of Michael before sipping at her own, pleased that she got the ratio of milk and sugar right.

“Take a look.” With that, she motioned to the papers, biting her lip to hold in her excitement. He eyed her warily before grabbing the papers and flipping through them. At first, he didn’t really seem to react, but after a moment it all seemed to snap into place. Michael took a rather large gulp of his coffee before rereading the papers.

“Seriously?” Asked Michael, looking at her in awe. “You can’t seriously be giving me this big of a raise! Just for assistant manager!”

“Yes! I emailed Mr. Lee for approval the other day and he gave me full permission! You really deserve it Michael, you’ve done so much for me and I know that you’re only going to improve from here.”

Apparently that was exactly the wake up call that he needed to boost his entire spirit. It was one thing for her to compliment him endlessly, but this paperwork, the promotion and raise, it was proof that he really was as good and worthy as she claimed.

After he signed the dotted line and she filed away the finished papers, the two chatted casually while sipping their coffees. They split the hotel work pretty evenly, him going to talk to the housekeeping staff while she went to talk to the dining room staff.

The chef had made sure to keep some leftovers for Julia, and shared a new mixed drink from the bar next door, though she did get the non-alcoholic version. Between that, making a couple calls, and helping out some guests with plans for the upcoming days, Julia was completely unprepared. She had spent the entire morning trying to psych herself up, but the moment the familiar voices floated through the Dragonfly’s lobby, all her effort fell apart. Julia had been keeping herself busy with smaller tasks, tying the shoe of a small child, their extremely pregnant mother having trouble doing it herself. It was difficult enough having to deal with Pete before, having him remind her of their shared memories, of her memories with Patrick.

But hearing Patrick’s voice, it all hit her like a freight train.

“No way man! There is no way I’m spending my night watching Star Trek if you’re not going to admit it’s completely inferior to Star Wars!” He was laughing, punching Joe’s arm in retaliation for something that she didn’t see.

Standing up and saying a polite goodbye to the guests, she kept herself facing the hallway, hoping that she wouldn’t be noticed over at the edge of the room. Just her luck, though, no one was at the front desk to help when one of the guys pressed the little bell.

“Shit, shit, shit…” She muttered, taking a deep breath in through her nose before making her way to help. No other employees seemed to be in the room at the time, the one time she needed them.

“Welcome to the Dragonfly Inn, gentlemen,” Upon Pete’s affronted expression, she jokingly rolled her eyes and corrected herself. “Good afternoon, Pete.”

It took every bit of willpower in her body not to immediately look at Patrick.

“Hey Julia! I haven’t seen you in ages!” Thankfully, it was Joe, and she grinned a little, nodding in agreement.

“It’s been over a year, it’s good to see you Joe, Andy, Patrick,” Her eyes flickered briefly to Patrick but she was resolutely looking past him when she said his name. So much for not making it awkward. “We have your rooms all set up for you, you’ll be at the end of the hallway on the third floor in the North hall. I can get someone to help you with your bags, if you need any assistance.”

Holding out the customary information pamphlet with the keys, which Andy took from her, it seemed like the air around the group had shifted. Clearing her throat, she glanced around, silently praying that there was an attendant to help with the bags. Again, just her luck, there was no one.

“Or, well, I’ll help you, if you need it.”

Joe and Andy were already walking away with two bags each, while Pete smirked in triumph.

“Oh yeah, it’d be great if you gave Trick a hand with the stuff we left in our car.” He shoved Patrick forward as he said that, causing the singer to bump into the desk hard enough to rattle the cup of pens.

“Dick..!” Patrick groaned, shoving the bassist lightly. Pete just laughed at the both of them and scurried away, snickering like a fool. “Sorry about that, I swear he hasn’t stopped talking about what happened the last time we were here for the last fucking week.”

Julia laughed softly, glad the tension seemed to be defusing more and more by the second.

“Don’t worry about it, he kept bringing it up when he was here before. You’d think he thought we were star crossed lovers or something.”

“It’s like he was the one getting laid, not us.” Patrick chuckled a little and led Julia out to the SUV they had rented.

That little comment hit Julia in a way she hadn’t predicted. Of course, for him, that’s all it was. A week of getting some.

She made a soft noise and nodded absently, silently grabbing one of the bags once the trunk was popped open. There were four bags in and Patrick grabbed three of them, making Julia frown in confusion.

“Here, let me take that,” She held out a hand and Patrick simply blinked at her before starting to walk back towards the hotel. “Patrick, come on, it’s part of my job! You look ridiculous right now, lugging all that.”

“Technically speaking, it’s not part of your job,” He objected with a playfully snarky tone to his voice. “Assistant managers aren’t assistants to the guests.”

A little startled at that, she sucked in her bottom lip before speaking again. “Technically speaking, general managers are responsible for all hotel tasks, including assisting guests.”

“General manager?” Patrick stopped just outside the front door and glanced at her. The expression was difficult to read, and Julia decided not to comment on it. Instead she took his momentary lapse to grab one of the bags from his hand and push past him.

She let out a small sigh as she looked over her shoulder, nodding her head in the direction of the elevators. The two stayed silent for the elevator ride, not entirely awkward, but absolutely not a comfortable silence. Her hands seemed sweatier than normal as they gripped the handle of the duffel bag, the bag hanging from her shoulder starting to slip. Julia was starting to wonder if the elevator was always so slow, or if it was just to torture her.

“Do you hate me for not calling you?” Patrick asked, breaking the suffocating silence.

“What?” Frowning at him, she shook her head before letting out a quiet sigh. “We weren’t a couple Patrick, I didn’t expect more from you after that week.”

His eyes bore into hers until the elevator doors opened and he averted his gaze, following her down the hallway. “The guys seem to think otherwise.”

“Oh come on,” Julia stopped at the very end of the hallway, one door on each side of them. She could see the door on the left was slightly propped open, waiting for them and the luggage. “They don’t know what happened between us. I wasn’t mad at you for not being my boyfriend, I was upset because I thought we were friends. After the conversations we had…” Her voice trailed off and she shrugged, barely able to keep the backpack from falling off her shoulder. “Look, it doesn’t matter, okay? I don’t hate you. That was a year ago, a lot has changed since then.”

Patrick didn’t say anything to that, knowing it went much deeper than she let on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I spent my day watching some old fob dvds (my heart will always be the b-side to my tongue, live in pheonix, believers never die pt 1, release the bats) and holy moly I've forgotten how idiotic they were. I know for a fact I can't write anything as absolutely ridiculous as they really are/were. If y'all get bored during your lockdowns, quarantines, whatever, rewatch their old videos and die laughing. I'm so bored since I can't leave the house, it'd be cool to chat with you guys about the videos or something.
> 
> Also, despite having literally nothing better to do with my time, I haven't been writing. I probably wont do another mid-week chapter because I'm definitely not as far ahead as I was before.


	9. We Made It Real

It wasn’t until two days after the band started their stay that Julia had another run in with them. Before that, any time they needed anything, she had managed to find other employees to take up the role and help out. There was no need in stressing herself out over them. It didn’t matter if they had once been close, they weren’t anymore and that was that.

Julia and another employee, Cameron, had been relaxing in the lobby, simply chatting with a couple of guests. The sound of other guests walking through the lobby wasn’t anything to blink at, but the sounds of a little scuffle knocked her back into professional mode. She turned from her place on one of the couches to see the guys joking around, shoving each other and clearly screwing around with each other. One would make a comment and the other three would either laugh or look offended, swatting and pushing at each other.

Torn between relief that it wasn’t anything more serious and an indescribably uncomfortable feeling in her stomach just at seeing them, she turned back to her conversation, readily prepared to ignore the group.

It was just her luck that they didn’t seem to be in that same train of thought.

“Hey Jules!” Pete rushed up to the couch and leaned over the back of it, his head popping up right beside hers. She couldn’t help but jump, startled. “We were hoping you could show us around a little.”

“Mr. Wentz,” She smiled in apology to the other guests and Cameron. “I’m pretty sure you know your way around here by now, don’t you?”

His eyebrows furrowed at the formal name, but he seemed to let it go, for once. “Well yeah, around the hotel sure, but we’ve never gone to the lake!”

“When you go out the front doors, it’s to the left. Just follow the trail with the signs for Candlewood Lake.” Julia was all but praying that he’d get the hint to not involve her, but either he was too oblivious or too stubborn.

“Julia, come on!” To keep him from getting any whinier, Julia stood up, murmuring a quick apology to Cameron and the others before walking to the other side of the couch to stand beside Pete.

She let her self control slip for a moment, reaching out to pinch his elbow. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“I want to hang out with you, and I know the guys do too,” For the moment, he seemed almost ashamed by his childish behavior. It didn’t last long though. “It’s not like I’m asking you to ditch work or something! You have other employees to help, and we, your very valued VIP guests, should get priority! It doesn’t seem like you’re actually busy right now, anyway.”

Glancing over Pete’s shoulder, Andy was looking at the pair blankly, like he didn’t have much opinion on the matter. Joe was nodding and grinning a manic grin, definitely on the same wavelength as the bassist. Patrick seemed more interested in the building’s architecture than looking anywhere near Julia.

“Dammit…” Julia muttered under her breath, combing a hand through her hair briefly. “Fine, I’ll show you around the lake.”

Before she could go and grab her cardigan, Pete grabbed her wrist and dragged her out the front doors, letting the others hurry to catch up. Thankfully all she had to do was twist her wrist a little bit for him to let go. The five of them set off down the trail to the lake, Julia grumbling under her breath as she went. Of course she was wearing heels that day, and although the path had paving stones, it was a little more uneven than ideal.

“How did you get property so close to the lake?” Andy wondered allowed and Julia smiled a little, feeling a sense of comfort from the man’s voice. It always caught her by surprise how this completely rock ‘n roll looking guy had such a soft, almost sweet voice.

“The original owners of the land built the winery in 1946, shortly after World War II. To capitalize on the location, they built a small hotel, next to the winery where the brewery now is. In 1962, that hotel burned down due to a fire in the crop field, so they expanded the field, built the brewery, and rebuilt the hotel where it stands now,” Julia smiled to herself as the path opened to a clearing, a small boardwalk that led to the small section of beach. “It reopened in 1970. The hotel hasn’t expanded much over the years, but the surrounding property has developed to satisfy the needs of visitors.”

She turned to look at them, fully in tour-guide mode, the little smile on her lips showing that she was actually having fun.

“Holy crap, I didn’t know it was that old.” Joe whistled softly, shoving his hands into his jeans and looking around the quiet lakefront.

“Well, the landowners purchased the property in 1931, I think it’s more surprising there wasn’t much here before the war besides a single private home,” A light breeze drifted off the lake and she broke into goosebumps under her sweater. “We’ve got a marina over there, it’s mostly leased for use by homeowners to the south, but we have a small section we keep for ourselves. We have a couple small catamarans for Inn guests to rent, canoes, things like that.”

The group of them started wandering down the boardwalk to a small outcropping of buildings. There was the canoe rental store, a small store that sold beachwares and food, and a cute little snack bar. The shops were one of her favorite things, they were just so quaint, giving off a beautiful, relaxed vibe.

“Oh, let’s get a drink!” Pete cheered when he saw the sign saying that the snack bar sold alcohol. Patrick rolled his eyes but followed Pete and Joe, while Andy hung back with Julia.

The two meandered behind the others, a comfortable silence washing over them. “How’s your writing going?” She asked as they sat at a picnic table, sitting across from the drummer.

“We haven’t done a whole lot yet, but we busted out some great lines last night. Pete and Patrick are already picking fights with each other over lyrics, but that’s pretty on par,” His laughter made her smile. It only took a minute for the three to join them, beers in hand. “Isn’t it a bit early to start drinking?” Andy sounded like he was a parent chiding his children, but that didn’t seem to phase anyone but Julia.

While they drank, Julia told them a little more about the history of the property. This was one of her skills, not just memorizing the facts, but being personable enough to make something that was fairly boring interesting enough for these wild young guys to chill and listen to every word.

"I thought you said once that you didn't want to be the day shift general manager." Patrick’s voice startled her out of her daze. It had been nearly ten minutes since Pete, Joe, and Andy got up to explore the little shop. Patrick had gotten a soda for both himself and Julia, and the two had been sitting in silence while drinking.

"You remember that?"

"I mean, I was pretty drunk that whole week, but not enough to forget you saying you wanted to go to school, you said you never went to college." If anyone was listening, they’d think that the two of them were good friends catching up, but Julia felt blindsided. He was referencing conversations from a year prior that she barely remembered having.

"Right. Well, shit happens," Julia sighed softly, standing up from the bench and brushing at her slacks, hoping she could make her escape back to the hotel. Or at least away from where this conversation was leading. "Sometimes the things we want to happen the most are the least attainable options."

"What happened to you over this past year? You were so different… you were so insistent on going to college, studying fashion or media production, something like that." Patrick stayed sitting, staring up at her. His eyes almost looked pitying. That was the last thing she needed.

She crossed her arms over her chest, a mix of warming herself up from the chill and protecting herself from the insinuation that she had changed in a bad way, or that she had given up on her future. "I had to grow up. Just because you have it easy, sitting around playing music with your friends all day, doesn't mean we all have it that easy. You don't know a thing about my life, Patrick."

Julia really didn't mean to sound so bitter, but damn… She couldn't help herself. Their lives were polar opposites at this point, and they were only going to get further apart as time moved forward. She was a single mother, and he was a rock star.

“Not like you’ve given me the chance to know,” Patrick finally stood up, but he didn’t stray from the picnic table. “Since the moment we got here you’ve clearly put up a wall.”

“You ever think there was a reason behind me putting up that wall?” She argued, taking a step back. “You can’t force a friendship between us just because we used to fuck.”

Patrick seemed taken aback by her brutal honesty. “I thought we were friends.”

Not knowing what to say to that, she frowned and looked away, eyes scanning the waterline for a moment. “I thought we were too,” Her voice was quiet but her words were honest. “But things changed, my perception of that week changed too.”

“What changed?” Finally, he took a step towards her, only causing her to take another step away from him. The way Patrick looked at her, she knew he wasn’t letting it go any time soon.

“It’s complicated.”

“I’m not an idiot, I think I can understand whatever it is you think is so complicated.” Julia looked back at him, not completely oblivious to the tone of his voice.

This was her chance. The opening she had all but asked for. All she had to do was open her mouth and tell him that Nathaniel was his. That Nathaniel existed, even.

But she couldn’t do it. Instead, she silently shook her head, taking another step back. Julia glanced over at the shop the other guys were in, looking back at Patrick with an apology written across her face.

“Trust me, it’s better this way.” She turned away and hurriedly started down the boardwalk towards the path back to the Inn, but a hand on her elbow stopped her. Patrick didn’t grip her too hard, but enough that she couldn’t immediately pull away.

“Don’t be like this, Jules,” Patrick didn’t drop his hand, as if he knew she would run away as soon as he did. “You could always talk to me. You used to find it so easy to tell me anything.”

Julia laughed briefly, facing him with an incredulous expression. “Can’t you hear what you’re saying? You’re speaking in the past tense. Just like everything we had, it’s in the past.”

Patrick dropped his hand like he had gotten burned, but for some reason, Julia didn’t run away. She needed to get her point across, but she was entering dangerous territory if she wanted to continue to keep Nathaniel a secret.

“I’m not trying to get anything more from you. Maybe you liked me more when I was drunk or something, but I seem to recall that sitting with you and talking led to some of the easiest, most fun conversations that I’ve ever had,” Behind Patrick, Julia could spot the other guys exiting the little shop. As soon as they saw him and Julia standing halfway down the boardwalk, they immediately went back into the shop as if to give the two some privacy. “It wasn’t just me that felt that way, was it?” It was like he was challenging her now.

“You’re right. It wasn’t just you.” She admitted after a brief pause, not wanting to lie more than necessary. She wasn’t lying for once.

“Then why are you being so stubborn right now?” A silence washed over them, Julia unable to find the right words. Her brain was foggy with stress and anxiety, the sight of Nathaniel’s strawberry blonde peach fuzz behind her eyes, lining up so neatly with Patrick’s, all shoved underneath a trucker hat, only his sideburns showing.

If there was ever a moment that she felt like ‘word vomit’ was really a thing, it was that moment there, with Nathaniel on the tip of her tongue. Her secrecy tasted bitter and hot.

The cool breeze made her shiver, enough to snap her back into reality. “I’m sorry Patrick, you just wouldn’t understand.” She was slowly starting to step away from him again, and he didn’t make any moves to reach for her again.

“Julia-”

“Give me a little bit of time, maybe we can be friends again. Just… not right now.”

This time, Patrick didn’t try to stop her. He just watched her rush down the boardwalk and disappear into the trees that hid the pathway to the Inn. By the time he turned back to the small set of shops, Pete and Joe were staring at him from the window. They jumped when he spotted them and pretended to busy themselves.

Julia didn’t stop moving until she was locked in her office, breathing hard like she had just run a mile. Cameron had tried to stop her to ask a question, but she blew past him like she didn’t even recognize his existence.

It wasn’t even two in the afternoon yet, but she had nothing left to give. There was not an ounce of energy in her bones.

She grabbed her briefcase and shoved a few files inside, not even paying attention to what she was taking. “I’m heading home early, I don’t feel so well,” Her voice was barely clear over the mumbling, eyes completely avoiding Cameron’s questioning gaze. “Call me if there’s anything you can’t handle, but please just… Not for more than that.”

The drive home was a blur, changing into her pajamas and sitting on the couch with her briefcase beside her as if she was really going to work- it seemed like a mirage.

The only thing that felt real was holding Nathaniel in her arms, grinning at him and telling him a story that she was making up on the spot. With this precious little baby in her life, she would be able to get through everything. It would be okay that he didn’t have a father, it would be okay that they were still in this tiny apartment with Rachel, it would be okay that all she had was her best friend and step-mother. They didn’t need Patrick to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For visual help/pleasure, feel free to google Candlewood Lake Club. It’s gorgeous!


	10. I've Got To Argue

January 2003

The heat was almost suffocating, sweat dripping down the back of Julia’s neck, her breath fogging up the windows around her. A shiver sprung through her skin, making her toes curl with the ecstasy of it all.

“Patrick…” She groaned under her breath, tilting her head back to give his lips more room to explore. She could feel the smirk of his lips against her skin, and it made her clench her fingers tighter in his hair as payback, but he didn’t change his attitude until the angle of her hips changed, perfectly in line with his.

It was another thirty minutes before he settled into the curve of her body, both of them splayed out in the back of Julia’s SUV, breathing in time with each other. Julia’s hands absently stroked through his hair, a satiated smile curling the corners of her lips. Patrick lightly nuzzled his nose into the crook under her jaw, pressing a small kiss to the sweat dampened skin.

“What were we talking about before?” He asked quietly, a small chuckle in his words.

She matched his soft laughter and hummed in thought for a moment before remembering. “Right, I think we were talking about college, because I want to go for fashion marketing, and then you-”

“That fucking dress…” Patrick cut her off with a soft groan, slightly tightening the arm that was wrapped around her torso. The little black dress that she had worn on New Years Eve had apparently done a number on Patrick’s mental capacity to think of literally anything else. “It looked so good on you, but damn, it looked even better on your floor.”

Julia flushed, lightly slapping his shoulder. “Stop being a pervert, Trick! Tell me, what would you do if you went to college?”

The two shifted around each other, adjusting their clothes to look almost presentable. They stayed laying down, wrapped in each other.

“I never really thought about it,” He answered with a half shrug, shifting to adjust himself in his jeans. “The idea of not playing music anymore… I dunno, it sounds crazy, but it’s all I think about. Like every dream I had when I was growing up has disappeared and been replaced by this. The stages, the energy from the crowds, these specific people in this specific band. It sometimes feels like kismet.”

“You believe in fate?” Julia didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but she didn’t really expect that from this young punk from Chicago.

“To an extent. I didn’t for the longest time, but meeting Joe in that bookstore, everything with Pete, finally getting Andy to drum for us. I hate to romanticize all the hard work we’ve put into this shit, but it’s almost like the stars aligned.”

Honestly, with how much passion he put into his words, Julia could have listened to him for hours on end, and that’s exactly what happened. By the time Julia was starting to doze off in the backseat, it was nearly two hours later, and their conversation had trickled off into friendly teasing jabs. Patrick was stretched out underneath her, eyes watching her struggle to stay awake. Julia was talking just moments before, saying something about how Andy was the most punk of them, teasing Patrick for being so normal in comparison, but her voice faded with her chuckles, and it was clear to Patrick that the night was shutting down.

“C’mon,” He gently urged her, one hand on her back while the other lightly patted on her rear end. “Let’s go in and sleep.”

“Hm?” Her eyes were closed, but she was frowning a little, her eyebrows knit together in confusion. “Go in where?” It was Patrick’s turn to laugh teasingly, sitting up carefully to keep from knocking her to the floor of the SUV. It took a moment for her to open her eyes again, but she didn’t look any less confused as she stared at the Dragonfly Inn.

“You can’t drive home, you’ll fall asleep at the wheel. Stay with me for tonight.” The offer was awfully tempting, but Julia felt so strange at the idea of spending the night in her own hotel. But on the other hand… He was right, she definitely wasn’t in any condition to drive home, even if the bottle of whiskey they had shared earlier had faded from her system.

As if he could read her mind, the idea of her coworkers seeing her go into a room with a guest, Patrick grabbed his hoodie from where it landed on the front seat and held it out for her. Making a grateful sound, Julia slipped into it and hummed, pleased at how it almost engulfed her. They were quiet as they slipped into their shoes, leaving behind the half empty bottle of Jameson.

“What about Pete..?” Julia asked as they slipped out of the car, her eyes still showing her concern.

Patrick grinned a little, pulling the hood over her head to help hide her face from any employees they could walk past. “It’s what, one in the morning? I’m pretty sure he’s still paying poker with Joe and Andy.”

It was weird to cross the threshold of her hotel without having to spend a second worrying about contacting a plumber, or reordering kitchen supplies, or scheduling other employees. With Patrick’s fingers laced through hers as they made their way down the hall, she had nothing to worry about except falling asleep next to this wonderfully warm, soft man.

Although they had shared Julia’s bed a few nights before, there was something new and exciting about this moment. And, surprisingly, it was so easy to just strip out of her work slacks, sneak her bra off from under her work blouse and the oversized sweatshirt. Patrick had taken off his pants, but kept on his shirt and boxers, probably to keep from making Julia uncomfortable.

If Julia wasn’t so exhausted, she would have laughed at that, considering the things they’ve done together over those few days.

The room had one queen sized bed- Fall Out Boy’s label didn’t want to spend more to get two beds per room, so the guys had to share beds. Patrick had mentioned the day before that it wasn’t weird until he woke up with Pete spooning him. Julia teased both him and Pete mercilessly after hearing that.

That night, though, Patrick didn’t mind getting so close to his bed mate. Julia languidly curled up against his side, one of his arms under her as he slept on his back. Their bodies were warm, slotted up against each other like puzzle pieces. They exchanged the quietest of ‘good nights’ before falling asleep, disturbed by nothing.

Until it was nearly three in the morning, and Pete was tugging on the doorknob, utterly confused as to why the door wouldn’t open past the two inch give of the chain lock.

“What the hell, Stump! Why’d you lock me out?!” Julia was startled by the shouting, sitting up in bed and staring at the door, not fully comprehending what was happening. When Patrick groaned and rolled out of the bed, she tugged the sheets up around her- when did she lose Patrick’s sweatshirt?

“Dude, read the fuckin’ room,” Patrick sounded half asleep, slurring his words. “Go sleep with Joe and Andy or some shit.”

Pete paused, torn between complaining about having to sleep on the floor and saying something absolutely scandalous about Patrick and Julia shacking up. His dirty side won out. “Oh hell yeah, get some man! Just don’t be loud, I don’t want to hear that shit!”

Patrick muttered something foul and closed the door again, turning to look at Julia with an apologetic grin. “Sorry about him, he’s a dumbass.”

“Just come back to bed.” She mumbled, relaxing back into the bed and pulling up the sheets as an invitation. The singer made a pleased sound and crawled back in beside her, automatically wrapping himself around her. Humming, satisfied at the warmth returning, Julia pressed the smallest little kiss to the corner of his lips before closing her eyes and relaxing against him again.

Luckily, they weren’t disturbed again for the rest of the night.

Because Julia had the next day off from work, she didn’t bother leaving Patrick’s hotel room. They got breakfast delivered to the room and unlocked the door so Pete would stop complaining through the two inch crack.

Even though he spent the first ten minutes complaining at them, and the next ten teasing them mercilessly, he sat cross-legged on the bed and joined their discussions. Eventually she had traded her work blouse for the sweatshirt Patrick had let her borrow the night before, and stopped hiding under his covers, wearing a pair of his gym shorts.

“Oh come on, you’re pulling my leg,” Julia stared at Pete, eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You, the son of a big time lawyer, did not get your first tattoo at fifteen!”

“It’s this ugly ass eco-friendly thing-” Said Patrick, clearly laughing at his friend’s tattoo mistake.

“It’s not that ugly!” Pete protested with a frown, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s just… like, okay, here’s the thing, we did it in a friend’s garage, and it’s kinda blown out and shit, but I doubt it’s the worst tattoo out there.”

Patrick snorted abruptly, trying to hold in his laughter but failing massively. “You’re right, there’s the bartskull right above-” His sentence was cut off by Pete shoving him hard enough to knock the singer off the bed. Julia was startled, but Patrick was laughing so hard he could barely breathe, clearly not caring that he was just tossed off the bed. She ended up bursting into laughter too, watching him grasp at the bed sheets to help pull himself back up.

“Oh, please, please finish that sentence!” Julia begged, reaching a hand out to tug Patrick back onto the bed. “Is it wrong that I kinda want to see it? Because I kinda want to see it!”

“There’s no way you’re seeing that!” Pete insisted, trying to look firm and intimidating, but his childish snickering ruined it. “Dude, there’s no way you’re getting mixed into my antics. I might not know you that well, but I’m kinda sure you can kick my ass.”

Julia couldn’t help but stare at Pete, having no clue where a comment like that could come from. She was possibly less intimidating than a newborn baby was. Apparently the confusion was clear on her face, because Patrick started laughing. “Have you ever seen yourself in action?” When she moved her confused expression to him instead of Pete, he continued on with a tone as if what he was saying was the most obvious thing in the world. “Like, when you’re managing, all business-y and bossy.”

“I think my balls shriveled up a little when you were scolding that maid for trying to be all creepy on us,” Pete wrinkled his nose, one hand covering his crotch to protect it, an automatic reaction. “It was pretty hot though.”

Patrick simply nodded in agreement to the last comment, grinning when a blush started to crawl up Julia’s cheeks.

Not long after that, Julia decided to leave and go back to her house. She’d have to do it at some point, she was still wearing a mix of her day old work clothes and Patrick’s borrowed stuff. Joe and Andy had brought up some food so the five of them could have lunch together and Julia wouldn’t have to go downstairs and get discovered by her coworkers.

Shortly after they finished their meal, Julia emerged from the bathroom in her work pants and blouse, trying to fix her uncombed hair into a messy ponytail. Doing the walk of shame out of her place of business wasn’t something she ever planned on doing, but there was no way she’d escape without running into a familiar face.

“We can create a diversion,” Pete grinned a little wickedly, making Julia frown in concern. “They won’t have the chance to notice you!”

“I really, really don’t like the sound of that.” She told him, holding Patrick’s borrowed clothes still. She was feeling a little awkward saying goodbye after having spent so many hours with the group.

“Aw, come on!” Joe was practically whining, shaking his shaggy curls away from his face. “We won’t break anything!” It wasn’t that Julia didn’t trust them, but, well, that was exactly it. She didn’t trust them even a little. The majority of her day with them had been spent hearing stories about all of the hijinks and mischief they- Specifically Pete and occasionally Joe- got into.

“I can watch them.” Andy offered with a slight shrug.

Julia narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, just like you watched when Pete destroyed your drum kit when he fell off it? Or when he and Joe were shooting off fireworks at each other?”

“Hey, in my defense…” The drummer paused as if he was looking for a valid excuse. “Well, boys will be boys?” He offered uselessly.

“It’ll be just a small distraction, I swear nothing will get vandalized or uh, peed on.” From the stories that Julia had heard, Pete really did have a thing for doing that anywhere and everywhere.

Slowly, she gave in, knowing that even if they did any damage to her building, they’d be the ones paying for it. “Okay, okay, fine. Just a tiny little distraction! If I get one single phone call from one of my employees about you boys, you’ll wish you never made friends with me.” She warned, her voice light like she was playing around, but her words were absolutely serious.

Julia silently held out the gym shorts and hoodie for Patrick to take while the other guys were moving around trying to find shoes and socks. He raised an eyebrow at her, only taking back the gym shorts.

“Put the sweatshirt on,” Was his answer to her confused frown. “Pull up the hood, not exactly sneaky, but then your coworkers probably won’t see your face, they’ll just think some random groupie was with Pete or something.”

“Why are you bringing me into this?!” Pete complained with an offended pout.

“Because you’re a floozy.” Patrick immediately answered, causing the group of them- besides Pete- to burst into laughter. His scandalized look was just icing on the cake.

Ten minutes later, Julia was outside of her car, Andy winking to her from the doorway of the Inn as Pete and Joe took it upon themselves to barrage the front desk employee and even one of the dining staff with the most obscure and miscellaneous questions about the Dragonfly, the lake, everything they could think of.

“Thank them for me later, will you?” Julia smiled at Patrick, who had walked her to her car. Before she got in, she tugged off the sweatshirt and handed it back to him, her expression turning a little more shy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” His own awkward grin grew confident when she nodded, swooping forward to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

“Tomorrow.”


	11. Sitting In Style

February 2005

Although she usually referred to the back of the hotel as a yard, it was a large expanse of area, multiple acres of land mostly taken up by trees. The closer to the Dragonfly Inn, the more the land was cleared. There was the outdoor amphitheater with a dozen benches set up to watch movies on Friday nights, there was the small stage not too far away where live music was played every other Saturday. To the left, past the edge of the hotel, was a fence dividing the so-called yard from the winery and brewery fields. It was one of the few areas with cameras, hoping to divert errant teens from attempting to climb the fence in a hopeless bid to find alcohol. Off to the right of the land was another trail leading to the lake, this one much more defined and sturdy than the one in the front of the hotel.

Julia was sitting on the small stage, a notebook in hand, her teeth worrying away at the back end of a pen. There were scribbled pages balled up and abandoned at her feet, the only proof of how long she had been sitting there struggling.

“Wow, I came out here to get away from this kind of mess, and yet…” The voice startled Julia enough that her pen went flying into the grass a few feet away, her entire body having jumped in surprise.

“Jesus Christ Joe, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” One hand rubbed lightly at her chest as she took a few deep breaths, hoping to calm her suddenly racing heart.

The guitarist snickered and grabbed the pen so she wouldn’t have to stand, holding it out with one hand, holding his second hand in the air as if to show he was unarmed. “I didn’t realize you were so deep in thought, sorry Jules. Don’t let me interrupt.”

She flashed a forgiving smile and took the pen, setting it in her lap instead of chewing on it again. Joe sat beside her, the two sharing a comfortable silence. Continuing on her work, she spent a few minutes between sketching in her notebook and looking up, examining the land like it would tell her the exact things she needed to know. “Shit…” Julia groaned, ripping out yet another sheet from the notebook and crumpling it in her palm.

“What’s got you all hot and bothered?” Asked Joe, staring at the small pile of papers. “My room looks pretty similar right now, but I have a feeling you aren’t about to punch Pete over some lyrics.”

Julia gave him a questioning look before he brushed it off with the wave of his hand. “My boss wants me to come up with the plans to extend out past that tree line. Something for guests to do, but every idea I have is either ridiculously expensive, or so mediocre that there’s no point.” As an example, she unfurled the paper that was still crushed in her hand. It was a poorly done sketch of what seemed to be a playground and fire pit, but like she said, it would barely count as an actual extension.

“Damn, this is actually a part of your job?” It might have been a rhetorical question, but it made her laugh dryly anyway.

“It’s kind of a gray area,” Julia shifted and stretched her arms out in front of her for a moment before cracking her back with a low groan of satisfaction. “I would call this… a test. He’s testing me.”

“What do you mean?”

She opened her mouth to respond before she closed it and frowned. How could she describe the situation without it getting misconstrued? Or giving out unnecessary information about her relationship with her boss? “Ah, where do I start? My boss, Mr. Lee, he’s new to the position, and we’ve got a bit of a history, you could say. I have this feeling that he’s going to try and push me out or something. And this is a test of my ability to think creatively, to come up with something that will be profitable.”

“And free things like a playground won’t create a profit.” Joe stated knowledgeably, rubbing his chin. She watched him with a bemused smile, simply enjoying their interactions that weren’t being centered around a certain singer.

“You see my problem? I don’t want to create something that’ll be seen as a waste of money.” The two of them sat there for nearly thirty minutes, picking up her previously discarded ideas to rehash them. Everything from extending the bar to include a club, to extending the little stage to be a full, proper stage with dedicated seating and equipment. It wasn’t until he stole the notebook from her and began doodling that she got a flash of inspiration.

“There’s always horses, rich people love riding horses, don’t they?” He absently was rattling off ideas, scribbling little notes onto the page. In the blank spaces he was drawing circles- big ones, small ones, kidney bean shaped ones. The simple action was so distracting that Julia didn’t reply to his commentary about the upper classes’ affinity for horseback riding. “Jules? Julia? Earth to home girl?”

“That’s it! I’ve got it, Anthony will love it.” Grinning madly and stealing the notebook back, she flipped the page and started copying what he had done- the seemingly miscellaneous circles.

Joe just stared at her sudden shift in attitude like she had grown another head. “Holy shit, did I break you or something?” Although it sounded like he was just wondering aloud, Julia couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head.

“Definitely not, Joe,” Teasingly nudging his side, she stopped her shorthand notes for a moment to grin at him. “A golf club. It’ll take a lot of work to get the trees cleared out, but we’ve got more than enough land, and it would be popular with the locals as well as guests. We could have tiered systems of memberships to design an air of exclusivity.”

“I didn’t know I’d be so much help!” The two of them laughed together before falling back into a comfortable silence. She continued to take notes, sketching out her ideas for not just what the golf course could look like, but the buildings and facilities that would also have to be built. So intent on her work, Joe decided to head back up to the room he was sharing with Andy, hoping that Pete and Patrick were done bickering.

So distracted by her flowing ideas, Julia didn’t immediately notice that Joe was leaving, but quickly blurted a “Thanks Joe!” while he was still in earshot. He turned to flash her a goofy grin before heading back inside and leaving her to her work.

Although they didn’t spend a grand amount of time together, and it was basically only focused on her need to get some work done, Julia later realized how nice it really was. Back when she first met them, she had considered herself friends with all the boys, albeit closer to Patrick than the others, but friends nonetheless. After they had left, that fantasy faded fast, and her year of struggle only made it more evident that the friendship wasn’t real. But there were times, brief times like the conversation with Joe, that she was rethinking the idea.

They were certainly busy guys, and she was busy herself, even before the baby, that wasn’t going to change for anyone any time soon. This time, if she was willing to let any of them back into her life, she’d have to drill that fact into her head. The entire concept of friendship was different when you were friends with musicians trying to make it big.

Either way, it was going to take a lot more convincing on her part to give in to the temptation of friendship.

A phone meeting with her new boss was scheduled for three in the afternoon, and she tried her hardest to have her notes completed before then. Lucky for her, it was a rather quiet Sunday, and Michael was taking the lead. He was still temporarily working the front desk in addition to his other, new responsibilities, but he managed to balance it all really well. It gave her the time to work on larger projects, like the golf course idea, and more detailed projects like working with the bar next door to create exclusive tours and tastings for the Inn guests.

“So, Michael, check this out.” Julia slid the notebook over, smiling a little. She was trying to hide her excitement just in case it was a stupider idea than she realized. A few of her tossed out ideas were still jotted down as a second chance.

The man hummed softly to himself, his lips curved ever so slightly into a frown. His eyebrows were knitted together as he studied, and for a moment, Julia was worried he wouldn’t be able to decipher her messy shorthand.

“Wow,” His finger traced some of the circular sketches for a moment, and just as she started to worry he hated it, his frown turned into an encouraging smile. “This is actually pretty genius! There’s no way Mr. Lee can reject this, you’ve put in so many details already, too.”

Julia laughed for a moment, dryly. “Anthony might reject it based on that factor alone.”

“You still think he’s got something against you? After all these years?”

Staying silent, she nodded, absentmindedly chewing on her thumb nail. Julia had only spoken to her new boss a few times since the owner had broken the news, and he had been absolutely professional each time, besides the fact that he insisted on calling her pet names instead of Julia or Miss Foreman. When she brought that up to her best friend, Rachel just assumed he was being a misogynistic pig.

Michael just sighed and patted her arm sympathetically as she left for her office.

Three o’clock hit, and her phone stayed silent. It didn’t phase her at first, it gave her time to reply to emails and work on detailing her golf course notes, but once three thirty hit and there was still no call, she was beginning to get pissed off. Her boss didn’t end up calling until three forty-seven.

“Mr. Lee, I was beginning to wonder if I had noted the wrong time.” She commented in what she hoped was a casual manner, forcing a smile on her lips in the hope that it would somehow be heard over the phone line.

“Now, now, Jewel, don’t be so feisty,” Julia could feel her smile frozen with the anger that was building inside of her. “Have you managed to come up with any half-decent ideas for me?”

Clearing her throat, she did her best to shake herself away from the rude comment on the tip of her tongue. “I think I’ve come up with an idea that should be pretty well received. Taking into account the local community as well as our specific clientele, I think a golf course is the perfect addition to the Dragonfly Inn.”

“Golf?” The man scoffed and Julia dug her fingers into her leg to try and calm herself down. “How in the world do you think that would create a profit? Cutting down all those trees would cost a fortune!”

“Sir, we’ve got a fantastic arborist that Mrs. Wilkes has kept for many years to help with all of our surrounding trees. He helped clear paths for the docks, he cleared space for the outdoor amphitheater-”

“How will this create a profit?” Anthony interrupted, as if what she was already explaining didn’t matter.

“We can have multiple levels of admission, both for locals who’d utilize the course on a regular basis, guests who are regulars, and both locals and guests who would want to use it for just one day. It would also amp up visitation to both the bar and winery. We could probably even do a package deal.”

He stayed silent for a moment, and Julia briefly wondered if he was considering hanging up on her. Seconds turned to minutes, all she could hear was quiet “hmm”s and scoffs. Eventually, he huffed like he was giving in against his better judgement. “Draw up a full proposal, I want to see it in two days' time.”

“Two days? That’s not enough time to get a full proposal including design and installation-”

“Two days. Good luck.” And with that, he really did hang up on her.

Julia was frozen with the phone still pressed to her ear, jaw dropped in disbelief. He had it out for her, he was really going to try and fire her. It didn’t take a genius to figure it out, she could feel it in her bones even before the final disaster of a conversation.

Slowly putting the phone back onto the receiver, she buried her face in her hands, letting the stress wash over her. She wasn’t often one to succumb to her emotions, especially not at work, but there was no way around it anymore. Tears threatened to fall, it took all of her willpower to keep them at bay.

A soft knock on her office door caught her off guard and she inhaled sharply. “Come in.” She called out, subtly shifting in her chair so the desktop monitor of her computer would hide her expression.

“Julia, your roommate is here with Nathaniel, she wants to speak with you,” Michael told her politely, understanding the energy she was putting off enough to not ask questions. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Murmuring a quick thanks, she took a moment to pull herself together properly. No errant tears threatening to fall, no stress-induced nosebleed, nothing that would indicate that she was starting to fall apart.

When she left her office, Rachel was sitting on one of the couches in the lobby, gently rocking a stroller back and forth. “I’m really sorry Jules, I got called into work early and I can’t take him, and your step mom is busy…” Rachel was rambling a little, looking upset at bothering her friend at work.

“Don’t worry about it, did you bring his diaper bag?” Her roommate nodded and motioned to the bottom of the carriage where the bag was tucked away. “Oh good, thanks hun. Go get yourself to work, grab a cup of coffee from the kitchen if you need it.”

“I should really get going, two called out and they were desperate to have someone as soon as possible. I’ll probably be home late.” Rachel flashed one more apologetic smile before leaning down to kiss the dozing baby on the forehead. Julia waved goodbye to her best friend before taking her place on the couch, resuming the light swaying of the stroller.

Seeing Nathaniel was exactly what she needed in that moment. Her baby boy’s precious face drained away all the stress and anxiety. In a way, it was easier to have him there with her. She was going to have to stay late to work on the proposal, and as much as she didn’t want to have her baby at the Inn, it was easier than working from home.

The only downside was risking the chance of Nathaniel meeting Fall Out Boy.


	12. Hey You!

It was as if Nathaniel knew that Julia had to stay late to work on the golf course proposal, because he wouldn’t fall asleep for anything. He wasn’t exactly throwing a fit, but he was restless and whining non stop unless he was in Julia’s arms. It was rounding close to seven in the evening, the Inn’s chef, Jasmine, made sure to cook up a quick meal that Julia could eat with just one hand.

“He’s being so fussy,” She softly complained, looking at the chef with an expression that surely showed how stressed out she was. “I can’t work on the proposal like this, it’s impossible to type with just one hand.”

Her friend nodded sympathetically, flashing a sorry smile. “I’d take him, but it’s the dinner rush…”

Julia waved off the offer, knowing just how busy it was. The dining room was half full, and it wouldn’t be much longer for more hotel guests or locals to show up. “You’ve got a job to do, it’s totally fine.” With another gently dismissive wave, Jasmine was back in the kitchen and Julia was gently bouncing her son on her knee as she ate the simple sandwich.

Nathaniel was starting to calm down a little, less fussy when he was getting attention, but that didn’t exactly mean that he was ready to sleep and let his mom get back to work. It was fine, she would be fine, she could get the work done. It was just going to be a very long couple of nights.

With her laptop next to her dinner plate, she was very slightly managing to get some stuff done between bites and comments to her baby.

“I’ve got to contact Brian about getting an exclusive package set up for top tier memberships so they could drink after playing,” As she spoke, she carefully typed out her notes, a mix between shorthand and misspelled sentences. “Cameron is in school for architecture, maybe that’ll help me somehow…”

“Hey, Julia.” A soft voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned to blink stupidly at Andy Hurley, taking a long moment for her brain to catch up.

“Oh, right, sorry, hi Andy,” Her face tinted pink with embarrassment. “Sorry, I was so caught up…” Julia’s free hand motioned to the mix of baby stuff, half eaten food, an abandoned notebook, and her laptop.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re busy, we can talk later.” Andy’s voice sounded so sincere and easy that it caught her off guard. It was always a shock to her system- the difference between his visual appearance and his actual self.

“No, no, you’re welcome to take a seat. Is it just you tonight?” Pulling the diaper bag off the chair beside her, she motioned for him to sit down. The man smiled appreciatively, eyeing the baby curiously but not mentioning anything.

“The guy’s are coming down soon, I just wanted to make sure we could all get seats.”

That was a smart idea, seeing how the dining room could get full pretty quickly. The two sat in a comfortable silence for a moment, Julia’s attention drifting back to her laptop screen. Apparently, though, Andy could only hold back his curiosity for so long before it got the better of him.

“Who’s the little one?” The words were carefully measured, like he wasn’t trying to pry into her life, but she could tell that he was extremely confused by the sight.

“Oh, this is Nathaniel,” Julia paused, turning her baby to face the drummer. Her stomach filled with nervous butterflies, knowing this was a dangerous path. “He’s my roommate’s baby, she had to work so I said I’d take care of him.”

And there it was again, the lie. The fear. The stupidity.

Thankfully Andy was too busy smiling and staring at Nathaniel to notice Julia mentally scolding herself. She and Rachel had sat down and spoken at length about the situation. Yes, Julia wanted to protect Nathaniel and still felt like it wasn’t absolutely necessary for Patrick to know he was a father, but at the same time, she was bound to slip up at some point. Although Rachel clearly didn’t like being a fake single mother- which was a little insulting, if Julia was being honest- but she was willing to take up the fake title if it helped. After all, it wouldn’t really affect Rachel that much, versus it could hurt Julia’s career. And Patrick’s.

“He’s cute,” Was all Andy said, the boy’s tiny socked foot kicking against the drummer’s palm. “He’s got rhythm.” The man was as simple spoken as ever, but it somehow calmed the tension in her system.

With the buildup of anxiety starting to drip away little by little, her awkward smile blossomed into a grin. “Better than me at least.”

Their companionable silence didn’t last much longer, the other members of Fall Out Boy filed into the dining room and instantly found Andy sitting with Julia.

“I’m starving man, did you order without us?” Joe complained, throwing himself into one of the seats at the table, not noticing the scene around him, apparently.

“No, I was waiting on you guys. Took you long enough.” Rolling his eyes, Andy kept playing with Nathaniel’s feet absently. The new version of silence that enveloped the four seater table made Julia itch uncomfortably. Pete looked like he was trying to connect puzzle pieces, Joe was finally getting attuned to the silent awkwardness of the social setting, and Patrick, plainly stated, looked confused.

“That’s… ah damn, I forgot his name, your roommates kid, right?” Pete grinned stupidly and squatted down in front of the baby. Nathaniel was incredibly excited to be receiving so much attention, like an excitable puppy.

“Nathaniel,” Julia supplied, keeping her eyes focused on the tiny being in her lap. “Uh, Jones… Nathaniel Jones.”

The lie tasted bitter on her tongue, disgusting and gritty. It didn’t help any that the peach fuzz on the baby’s head matched in color to the shaggy cut shoved under a trucker hat, or that the round, plush cheeks and the startling blue eyes were a straight copy of his father’s.

Patrick smiled and watched Pete coo and poke the child, but kept a respectable distance still. If anyone asked Julia, he looked like his normal, socially awkward self, not specifically like he was avoiding Julia.

But she knew better.

They hadn’t spoken a single word to each other in the past two days. Not even a cordial ‘hello’ or masked pleasantries. They were almost a week into their two week stay and they seemed to be on worse terms than ever before.

“Here, you guys can take my table, let me just…” Starting to gather her laptop and notebook and the little baby items she had dragged out, it was clear Julia was struggling with using only one hand. “Sorry, just give me a second…”

Thankfully, Pete took pity on her and scooped Nathaniel into his arms. At first, Julia stared, startled and nervous about the young rock’n’roller carrying a four month old, but he didn’t seem completely oblivious. Mumbling a soft ‘thanks’, she rushed to gather her belongings, cradling it all under one arm before motioning for Pete to give Nate back to her. Her heart fluttered happily when his tiny little hands eagerly reached to have her back.

“Oh, wait-” Joe stood up, reaching to grab the plate that had her half eaten dinner still on it.

“You can ask a server to throw it away, it’s fine.” As she often felt, she didn’t have enough hands, but at least she managed to eat half of the sandwich. Smiling and motioning with a nod of her head that the group of guy’s should all sit and enjoy themselves, Julia rushed off to her office. Nate was whining a little, though this time it sounded more like he was tired and needed to be put down.

Quietly asking Melissa, the nearest employee, to open the office door for her, she finally felt relief once it was closed behind her. “All right, bubby, you ready to sleep?” Cooing sweetly, she gently placed the boy in his stroller, reaching under it to grab the diaper bag. When her hand came into contact with nothing but air, she swore softly under her breath and stood up, trying to rethink her steps. Julia was about to open her office door to look around the places she had been in the hotel, there was a hesitant knocking. Time moved slowly and quickly all at once, her hand seemed to be moving in fast forward as she reached for the handle, but the process of cracking it open and seeing a familiar face standing on the other side happened in slow motion.

“Um, sorry to interrupt,” Patrick’s voice was barely more than a mumble, but it made Julia flinch in surprise anyway. “You left this, I thought you might need it.” He held up the diaper bag and she sighed in relief, opening the door further.

“Thanks, I was about to go searching for that.” Julia’s hand was halfway towards the bag’s strap when she stopped, frozen, staring at Patrick’s other hand. He was holding the plate with her food on it.

“You shouldn’t skip meals.” Was his excuse, as if he could see the unspoken question flashing across her face.

Taking the diaper bag from him, she opened the door enough to be seen as a welcoming gesture. “You can just leave it on the desk,” Murmured Julia as she rifled through the bag, looking for the blanket that was tucked inside. “I need to put him down, he hasn’t been sleeping very well these past few days.”

Patrick hummed quietly, leaving the plate on the desk but staying to watch her tuck the boy into his stroller. She put Nate’s pacifier in before turning back to the singer. The tension felt stagnant, thick but somehow not as bad as it was.

“He’s your roommate’s kid? Rachel, right? I didn’t know she was pregnant.” It was an innocent enough question, but Julia felt her chest tighten. All the lying she was having to do was going to drive her insane.

“Oh, um, well, she didn’t find out until after you were gone, so you wouldn’t have known.”

Nodding a little, Patrick looked away from her to look at the baby. She could only pray that he wasn’t reading too much into the baby’s tiny little features. They both just stood there, five feet apart and silent. Julia watching Patrick, Patrick watching Nathaniel. Despite her lies, despite the fact that their last conversation ended in a fight, this moment was surprisingly calm. The tension she had been feeling crawling in her bones seemed to have settled a little, the anxiety wasn’t eating away at her.

Minutes passed before Patrick broke the silence. “I should go back, before they eat without me.”

“Right, of course. Thanks again, for the bag and the food.” When she took a step forward towards him, he took a step back, towards the door. Sensing he didn’t want to get into another argument, Julia rocked on her heels and briefly waved at Patrick. The faintest of smiles curled his lips when he gave her his own little wave before backing out of the room.

So maybe they weren’t friends yet, and it definitely was going to be a rocky path going forward as long as she continued to lie to him, but maybe Julia would be able to pursue a friendship without simultaneously shutting him out of her life.

“Roger, please,” Julia felt like she was begging, eyes dark with exhaustion. “You know the story of me and Anthony, you know I have to get this project done before-”

The night manager shook his head, looking sincerely apologetic towards her. “I really am sorry, Julia, but I’ve got a meeting at the winery in less than half an hour and I still haven’t found my notes from the last meeting.”

She almost felt like her heart was breaking. It was nearly midnight, and she was still at work Nathaniel was still sleeping, thankfully, but Julia was desperate for a shower. There was one empty hotel room she could use, but she couldn’t leave her son without someone watching him. It would have been easier for her to just go home, but she was so in the zone with the project that going home would just kill her focus.

“Hey.”

The quiet voice behind her shocked her and she nearly jumped out of her skin. “Jesus Christ, Patrick, you nearly gave me a heart attack.” Breathing slowly to even out her heart rate, Julia lightly slapped the man’s arm, though not enough to hurt.

“Good luck!” And with that, Roger dug out the notebook he was looking for and rushed off to prepare for his meeting.

“Good luck with what?” Sighing softly and leaning against the desk, Julia glanced over her shoulder at the opened office door where Nate was still in his stroller.

Her shoulders slumped in defeat, half shrugging. “I wanted to shower, but Roger isn’t able to watch Nathaniel,” From the look on his face, she could practically read the questions out loud. “I really need to finish my project, the one from earlier? If I go home, I’ll never work on it. I need to work more than I need sleep.”

“Oh,” Patrick frowned at her, looking like he wanted to say something about how her work ethic seemed a little extreme, but he knew it wasn’t his place. Not anymore, or ever. “Um, I’m not busy, and I’m not really tired, so… I could watch him while you go shower. You can use my room if you need to.”

“Wow, um, that’s a very generous offer Patrick, but I couldn’t leave you with him.”

“Why not?” He seemed a little affronted, a frown still on his lips.

“Have you ever taken care of a baby before?” He could have, if she had never kept him a secret in the first place.

Instead, Patrick shook his head a little. “You won’t be gone for that long if all you’re doing is showering. I’m pretty sure I can handle your friend's baby for half an hour when I deal with Pete twenty-four-seven.”

She couldn’t deny that part was true, Pete did seem as wild as an uncontrolled toddler a lot of the times.

“Ah, shit…” She sighed softly, eyes flickering back to the office door for a moment before she eventually nodded. “Yeah, yeah, all right. I won’t shower in your room, though.” Both of their attitudes shifted once she gave in, a little smile hiding on her lips as she motioned him to the office. Making sure he knew where to find her in case anything happened, Julia felt surprisingly okay leaving her baby with Patrick. With his baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Patrick and Nathaniel!!!


	13. Change Your Mind

Everything was going smoothly. Patrick had sat in her office, playing solitaire on her computer for thirty minutes while Nate slept and Julia showered in an empty guest room. They didn’t chat much when she returned, but the vibe was absolutely different after that night.

It wasn’t until ten in the morning the next day that Julia decided she would give in and head home. Well, it wasn’t so much her decision as it was Michael’s instance that she leave for no less than six hours.

She had packed up everything, purposefully leaving behind her laptop to keep herself from working at home. When she stepped out of her office, Nathaniel grumpily squirming in his stroller, she spotted the Fall Out Boy members talking with Michael, a couple of guitars in hand.

“What’s all this?” Julia asked, trying not to interfere too much. After all, she had promoted Michael for a reason, he could easily handle situations.

Pete was the first one to speak up. “We were just asking if we could practice out on that stage in the back, I’m getting claustrophobic staying in the room the whole time.”

Her eyes flickered to the others before stopping on Patrick, who was looking down at the baby. It almost, very faintly, seemed like he had gotten a little attached after watching the boy for those thirty minutes the night before.

“Right, go for it. Just watch your language.” Even though Michael had already given them permission, all five men gave her a look. She definitely wasn’t using her professional manager voice anymore.

Without another word, she muttered a quick goodbye and made her way outside. Squinting at the sunlight, it was almost surreal to be leaving the Inn at ten in the morning, but she had to do what she had to do. Her new boss was going to show up the next day and she felt like any time spent away from her computer or notebook was time wasted. But, Michael was right. She was dead exhausted and she wasn’t going to be pulling out her best work in that state. Plus, Nathaniel couldn’t live at the hotel.

Time moved in a blur, after that.

From strapping the baby into his car seat and driving home, getting home and tucking the boy into his crib, getting changed and crawling into her own bed, Julia was on autopilot. Thankfully, she just barely remembered to set her alarm clock for four hours. That would be more than enough of a nap, she couldn’t afford to lose any more time away from the project.

Unfortunately, those four hours passed in a blink, and before she knew it, she had to get up and get ready for work. Earlier in the day, she had contacted her step mother about caring for Nathaniel for the next two days so she could focus on work and Rachel wouldn’t have to worry about him either.

“Hey Amelia,” Julia stifled a yawn. “We’re ready for you to pick up Nate whenever.” The woman on the other end of the line said she would head over immediately, and Julia knew that gave her twenty minutes to get everything ready. She restocked his diaper bag and made sure to include an extra couple outfits just in case.

She was in the middle of packing an overnight bag for herself when there was a knock on the door.

“I got it!” Rachel called out, sounding out a cheerful hello when she saw Amelia on the other side. “You’re doing us both such a big favor by taking him right now.”

“How could I ever turn down spending time with my favorite grand baby?” Amelia genuinely did sound excited at the prospect, and it warmed Julia’s heart.

“Maybe because he’s your only grand baby still living in Connecticut?” Julia teased, carrying the little boy out to the living room as she spoke. He gurgled and made happy sounds, in a much better mood since he was home instead of being forced at the hotel. “But really, thank you so much. I probably will be staying at the office for at least a day and a half again, if I’m lucky.”

Both Rachel and Amelia knew the story of Anthony Lee, although they weren’t as paranoid that he was targeting Julia’s job, they still understood why she was working herself to the bone.

Michael, on the other hand, didn’t understand. He knew a decent amount of the details involving her past with the man, but he didn’t know the full story.

That’s why, when she showed up at work again forty-five minutes after Amelia took Nathaniel, he wasn’t happy to see her.

“So he’s your ex, what’s the big deal?” Michael was standing in the doorway of her office, arms crossed and a frown on his face.

“It’s more complicated than that. I’m the reason he went to the New York location because of what happened. From what I heard, his wife left him after she found out about the affair. I’m lucky she didn’t come after me too.”

Michael frowned deeper, staring her down intently. “That can’t be the full story. C’mon, what happened? Did he threaten you or slash your tires or something?”

Slamming her notepad down with a little more force than necessary, Julia leveled him with a firm look. “Stop asking questions that you don’t need to know the answers to.” It wasn’t often she got stern with her friend, and Michael could tell she meant business.

“Right… Sorry Ms. Foreman… I’ll get back to work…”

As he turned away, shutting the door as softly as possible behind him, Julia felt a flash of guilt. She’d have to apologize to him later, when she had the chance.

Time wasn’t just a blur, it was completely nonexistent.

One minute, it’d be six twenty-seven pm, and the next time she’d look at the clock, it’d be eight fifty-five.

As if someone was reading her mind, there was a soft knock on her door. Calling out and giving them permission to enter, she was honestly surprised to see that it was Michael. “Hey, um, Jasmine is closing the kitchen soon, if you want to grab some dinner.” He wasn’t quite making eye contact with her, making the guilt rise in her gut again.

Nodding silently and making sure to double save her work, Julia stood up before the manager could leave her office. “Michael, wait.”

He stopped as he was about to close the door behind him, still avoiding eye contact with her but clearly listening.

“I’m sorry about earlier. The whole thing with Anthony is a touchy subject, and I’m already on edge as it is. I just feel like talking about what happened before will make it harder for me to work with him.” She was making excuses, but she was being honest. It was difficult enough to have the memories crawling up her spine, and discussing it openly was a terrifying idea.

Michael didn’t exactly smile, but his lips curled ever so slightly, showing that he really did forgive her. “No, it’s fine, clearly there’s a lot more to the story than I know. I shouldn’t have been prying.”

She still felt guilty, but explanations could be told another day. Right then, all she could think about was eating some food.

“I’ll take whatever you’ve got.” She told the chef, smiling gratefully when she was handed a plate of mixed meals. There was chicken, a little bit of pasta, mixed veggies, and even a small mound of leftover mashed potatoes.

For the first time in that entire day, she allowed herself to be out in the hotel instead of cooped up inside of her office. Well, in the dining room, at least. There weren’t many people around at this point, a few guests finishing up their late dinners, but otherwise it was relatively quiet. That’s why, around nine thirty, the loud voices of Fall Out Boy made her jump in shock enough to fling her fork.

“Nah dude, I’ll sweet talk someone if I have to-” The fork landed on the floor a few feet in front of Joe, making him come to a sudden stop. Pete crashed into his back, clearly not paying attention to anything except his own ramblings. “What the hell?”

“Hold up man.” Joe picked up the fork and stared at it for a brief second before spotting Julia at the nearest table.

“Sorry, sorry,” Hurrying to scramble to the man and take the fork back, she grumbled a little under her breath. “Damn it, now I have to go grab another…”

Without even bothering to look at the rest of the guys, she turned on her heels and headed for the kitchen. She didn’t realize it at first, but all four of them were hot on her tail.

“Um… Can I help you?” One of the kitchen staff was staring at the group, and Julia held out the fork almost expectantly.

“Can I get another?” Was all she said. A moment of silence passed, and following the staff member's eye line, she turned to stare at the band behind her. “Oh, uh, did you need something?”

Joe and Pete exchanged looks while Patrick sighed, almost embarrassed by his friends. “They were hoping it wasn’t too late to still get some dinner.”

“The kitchen is closed-” The staff member started, glancing around at the mess they were in the middle of still cleaning.

“It’s all right, if you’ve got anything left over, throw it on a plate if you can,” Julia softly interrupted, motioning to the same leftovers she had chosen earlier. “And if you’ve got anything vegan left, that’s for Andy.”

Andy smiled his soft little smile, silently grateful for Julia remembering that fact.

“Thanks a bunch Jules!”

Smiling pleasantly but honestly a little dead in the eyes from her exhaustion, she shrugged. “Keep in mind that the kitchen closes at nine during the week like this. You should just order room service next time since they do that until midnight.”

After that, she left and went back to her table, fully expecting them to continue doing their own thing. For some reason, though, they followed her out and even grabbed an extra chair to make the four person table a five seater instead.

“Um…”

“You don’t mind, do you? You don’t have your laptop, so I just assumed you weren’t busy like before…” Patrick’s voice trailed off, standing next to an empty seat even after Joe and Pete already planted themselves down.

Julia loosely waved a hand and Patrick took a seat, while Andy still hesitated for a moment before giving in.

“Just taking a break. I’m pretty sure my eyes are going to fall out of my head pretty soon.” Pete snickered a little at that, nodding along like he understood what she meant by that.

“No kid today?” Julia’s eye started twitching when Patrick asked that question.

Finishing the bite of food she had taken right as he spoke, she shrugged absently. “He’s at my step mom’s.”

“Why is he with your step mom if he’s your roommate’s kid?” Joe was far too observant when Julia’s exhaustion was creeping up on her like the boogeyman.

“Oh, um,” Her brain was faltering, trying to keep up with so many things all at once. She took another bite of food to give herself a moment to think. “Her family lives in New York and I can’t take him because the whole thing I’ve been working on, it was just easiest to have my step mom take him for a little while.”

The conversation ended as soon as their food came out, and thankfully, so did their line of questions. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to focus on keeping her lies straight if she could barely even see straight.

She never would admit it out loud, but their company was rather soothing. They didn’t ask her more questions or even prompt her to join their conversations. Pete and Patrick were debating song lyrics they had been working on while Joe was telling some rather ridiculous story to Andy about when he had first climbed onto the roof of his childhood home.

All nice things had to come to an end, though, and as soon as she finished her plate, it was time to get back to the grind.

“You can’t be serious, you were just falling asleep with your fork in your mouth, and you’re going to go back to work?” She blinked at Patrick, not recognizing the concern in his tone. Tilting her head, Julia scratched at her arm absentmindedly. “You should at least take a nap or something, you look half dead.”

“Such a sweet talker…” Julia rolled her eyes, discreetly hiding her fond smile as she stretched her arms.

Her comment, though, apparently caught the attention of Pete and Joe, who dropped their conversation to watch the oblivious flirting.

“Don’t you know it,” Patrick chuckled a little, shifting to dig a hand into his pocket. “Here, go take a nap. I’m serious.”

“It’s fine, I’m fine, seriously.” The singer rolled his eyes, all but shoving the room key into her hand.

He pointed a finger at her in a jokingly threatening manner. “I’ll drag you out of your office if I have to.”

Keeping up with the fake dramatics, she copied his eye rolling and groaned a little, trying to sound like she was actually upset. In reality, the moment taking a nap had been suggested, it was all she could think about.

“Are you sure?” Her eyes stared at the key for a moment before looking back at her baby’s father. “I can just nap in my office, the chair is surprisingly comfortable…”

“I spent half an hour in that chair and it was awful. You need a bed.” Part of her wanted to be affronted at his dislike of her office chair, but it wasn’t exactly meant for comfort. It had this whole ergonomic support system thing that just made it impossible to ‘chill’ in.

A brief moment of silence lapsed before she gave in, dropping the act. “I won’t be in there too long, I swear… I’ll set the alarm clock, I’ll be gone before you night owls are ready to sleep.”

With a wave of Patrick’s hand dismissing her light promises, Julia hesitantly left the dining table and made her way to the elevator.

It wasn’t a new thing for her to go to guest rooms, she was always the one to go whenever there was an issue, or even double check that the cleaning staff was living up to their fullest. But going into Pete and Patrick’s room? Walking in and immediately knowing which one belonged to which guy, because Pete always left clothes discarded everywhere, while Patrick at least left everything in semi-manageable piles?

That definitely felt like a new experience.

Silently stripping herself of her shoes and bra before crawling into Patrick’s bed, his familiar scent enveloping her, the comfort that automatically came with it.

Well, that wasn’t a new experience at all.


	14. Elevated

Julia didn’t set her alarm.

This wasn’t immediately obvious. In fact, it wasn’t obvious for many, many hours. Pete and Patrick stayed up late with Joe and Andy, having moved on from discussing band related topics to just hanging out and swapping stories. It was almost two in the morning by the time they meandered back to their own hotel room, assuming that Julia would be long gone by then. After all, it had been almost four hours since she had left them in the dining room.

But the moment Pete opened up the room and spotted the sleeping woman, he immediately turned to Patrick, an almost evilly teasing glint in his eyes.

“Should I leave you to it? It wouldn’t be the first time I had to sleep on Joe and Andy’s floor.” Apparently Patrick didn’t find this funny, smacking the back of his friend’s head before not too roughly shoving the man into the room.

“Fuck off. I’ll wake her up, she’s probably going to be pissed that she’s missed so much work.”

The voices were enough to stir Julia from her sleep. Wearily blinking at the pair, there was a frown curling her lips. The only light available was from the open door leading to the hallway. Confusion was thickly clouding her brain, not making any sense of why two guys were in her bedroom. The light from the hallway, the white bed sheets that were a stark difference than her own blue ones, no crib in the corner... 

As soon as she was able to piece together all the facts, she shot out of bed like a bullet. “Fuck!” Julia was tripping over her own two feet, trying to pull on her shoes. “How long was I asleep for?”

Pete and Patrick exchanged amused glances. “All night!”

Patrick smacked the back of Pete’s head again before correcting him. “It’s only been a few hours, it’s about two am.”

She swore again under her breath and grabbed her bra from the floor, not bothering to be embarrassed. There was too much anxious energy running through her veins to care. Absently throwing a ‘thanks’ over her shoulders, Julia passed by them in a rush, shoving her bra into the pocket of her slacks.

There was no time to analyze anything. Between the newfound companionship between her and Patrick to actually sleeping in the man’s bed, she had to push all of it to the back of her mind. She was nearing completion on her project, as best as she could with the time constraint, and her deadline was closing in.

Anthony Lee had sent her an email before she had eaten dinner, reminding her that she had until three in the afternoon. Which meant she had just over twelve hours left to perfect her presentation.

Back to the grind, everything else slipped from her mind. The passage of time, whether or not her son missed her, any possibility of a rekindled friendship with the band, even her anxiety about seeing her ex-boyfriend-turned-new-boss had managed to slip her mind, for a little while at least. The few hours of sleep didn’t seem to help much, but thankfully, one of her employees kept a pretty consistent stream of coffee flowing in and out of her office.

It wasn’t until eight in the morning that she took another break. Julia was completely falling asleep at her desk, even inhaling caffeine as much as possible. Dragging her overnight bag up to the room they thankfully still had empty, she all but crashed into the bed the moment she changed out of her work clothes.

This time, she definitely remembered to set an alarm.

Although it had only been another four hours of sleep, definitely not enough to catch up with how much she missed, this time it helped a lot. If anyone saw her, they’d think she was having a good time, even. There was a song on the tip of her tongue while she showered, a sway to her hips while she dressed in fresh clothes from her overnight bag. There was practically a skip in her step as she descended the stairs from the second floor to the first.

It didn’t affect her mood in the slightest when she spotted all four members of Fall Out Boy sitting in her lobby, making more noise than should have been allowed.

Whoever was supposed to be watching the front desk was nowhere to be seen. Considering it was the middle of the day, they were probably assisting the cleaning staff in a room or something, but it still bothered her a little that there were no employees.

Not enough for her to do anything about it, though. Honestly, it was the least of her worries.

“Jules!” Blinking towards the couches, she warily eyed their instruments. Taking a quick glance around the lobby to make sure they weren’t disturbing any other Inn guests, she gave in and made her way over.

“What can I do for you gentlemen?” She smiled softly, more friendly than managerial.

Pete was flipping through a notebook to find a specific page while Joe argued with him, waving a second notebook almost frantically.

“You look well rested.” It was Andy that spoke up. Julia chuckled softly, shrugging a little as she brushed nonexistent fuzz from her new trousers.

“I had to get ready for my presentation,” Julia did a quick pose with her body, smiling prettily. “What do you think?”

It was more than just Andy paying attention to her; at that point, everyone was staring except Pete, who was debating intensely between the two notebooks. Before anyone could respond to her little question, Pete shoved one of the two at Patrick with a muttered ‘this one’. Frowning in confusion as she watched the scenario, the four guy’s shared looks before Andy started a light beat on the drum pad sitting in his lap.

“Listen to this?” Patrick’s statement came out more like a question, but she couldn’t say no. Especially not when Joe was giving her puppy dog eyes from Patrick’s other side.

Julia nodded and took a seat on the arm of the nearest couch, next to Pete. “I’m all ears.” That’s all it took for the boys to start playing properly, an acoustic version of a song that they were still in the process of working on.

Patrick’s voice was soft, not so loud that it rang through the lobby, but enough that she could feel the words in her chest. “You only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who I really am, sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you… We're making out inside crashed cars, we're sleeping through all our memories, I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive,”  
“Now I only waste it dreaming of you.”

Julia’s eyes flashed to Pete when he joined on that line, but her focus was glued on Patrick again immediately after. She was beyond thankful that he was busy looking at the notebook and not at her.

“Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness 'cause all of our moves make up for the silence, and oh, the way your makeup stains my pillowcase like I'll never be the same… You only hold me up like this 'cause you don't know who I really am. I used to waste my time on, waste my time on, waste my time dreaming of being alive, now I only waste my time dreaming of you… Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness 'cause all of our moves make up for the silence… And oh, the way…”

As the strums of the guitars faded away, so did the group’s confidence. Patrick had a pencil and was scribbling in the notebook, making some musical change that she wouldn’t be able to understand. Pete was chewing on his lip, clearing rolling a word or phrase around in his head.

“That was… That was freaking awesome,” Julia’s voice broke them of their respective reveries, all eyes landing on her. That was as close as she ever got to swearing at the hotel. “I-I mean, maybe it’s because I haven’t heard you guys play since the last time you were here, or something, I dunno, but yeah… That was really good.”

“Thanks,” Joe grinned wide, reaching out to give her a fist bump. “Now Pete, can you shut up about not liking the lyrics?”

She chuckled a little and nodded in agreement, resting a hand on Pete’s shoulder and giving it an encouraging squeeze before she stood up, intending to go back to work. “Oh, would you guys mind practicing out back, please?” Joe dramatically sunk into the couch, letting out a groan just as childish. Andy reached across to swat at Joe’s head and that’s all it took for the group to start messing with each other. Firmly deciding to ignore it, Julia turned on her heels and made her way to her office.

After a couple minutes, Pete ducked his head into the open door and grinned at her teasingly. “Hey, in case you were wondering, Trick is still single-” Before he could finish whatever ridiculous comment he was in the process of making, a hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and tore him from the office. Pursing her lips to keep from smiling, Julia could hear Pete and Joe laughing their butts off.

Reviewing the work she had completed on her presentation, Julia had to admit she was proud of the work she had done. Filling in some blanks with information with responses from emails, she was confident that she’d be ready for the phone meeting at three.

With an hour and a half to spare, she decided to properly act like a manager and interact with her Inn guests. There was the faint sound of guitars floating in from out back, but it didn’t seem to bother anyone. Julia did her usual rounds of greeting guests, stopping by dining tables, offering help and advice to anyone that needed anything. Just as she let her guard down, sat down for a quick lunch, it all came crashing down around her.

Cameron was covering the front desk for her. He was a sweet young guy who was working while attending college. He was usually unphased, pretty decent at communicating with customers, though not always good at managing his schedule or notes.

Julia had never heard his voice shaky and nervous until he showed up behind her and tapped on her shoulder. “M-Miss Foreman, there’s a man…” He cleared his throat and motioned limply towards the lobby. “M-Mister Lee…”

Were her eyes popping out of her head in surprise? It was very possible. If the stress of those few words weren’t going to kill her, she was sure it wouldn’t take much else. Suddenly, her appetite disappeared. The food on her plate couldn’t look less appealing if it tried. She swallowed the lump in her throat, once, twice, and then cleared it away with a cough before she finally was able to stand up.

“Thank you, Cameron. Could you have Jasmine put this in the fridge for me before you get back to the front desk?” Julia’s smile was tight and foreign. There was a ringing in her ears.

There was a surprising level of calm washing over her as she made her way back to the hotel lobby. Even as she spotted the back of a familiar man leaning against the front desk, Julia kept her composure.

“Mister Lee, welcome to the Dragonfly,” She held out a hand for him to shake, her best customer service smile glued to her lips. “I wasn’t quite expecting you in person, I have to admit.”

Anthony took her hand and held onto it, a slow, smug smirk crawling over his expression. “I knew a phone call wouldn’t do you justice.” If that was a pick up line, it failed miserably.

“Well, I’ve got the power point all set up-”

“Jewel, come on now, loosen up a little,” She was breathing slowly through her nose, using all her strength to keep the smile from faltering. “You were always so uptight.” The back of her brain was screaming at her to call Mrs. Wilkes and complain about the new owner, but she wouldn’t let him get under her skin. She couldn’t, that’s exactly what he was looking for.

“What would you suggest, if not the power point, sir?” Julia bit out, the corners of her lips straining with the effort of smiling.

The smirk on his lips only grew as he leaned forward, his hand finally let go of hers, only to instead slide it up her arm until it rested on the curve between her shoulder and neck. “I’m sure there’s something we could figure out…” 

Before she could gag from the smell of his cologne, Julia took a step back. His hand dropped like dead weight, but his greasy expression didn’t change. “Perhaps, um,” She cleared her throat and glanced around for a moment. “How about we go to the back and I can give you a short verbal presentation before we get into the details of it?”

Although he didn’t seem to be all that pleased that she was keeping things so formal, he motioned her with a sweep of his hands. “After you, my sweet Jewel.”

God, her skin was positively crawling.

Letting out a breath, Julia started for the backyard, refusing to let this man see her tension. He knew what he was doing to her, and she was absolutely sure he was finding it entertaining. Once they got to the back, she motioned for him to follow her towards the tree line, where there was a small fence and warning signs to keep out of the area.

“This will all be gone, opened up to create a Parkland style, executive course,” Julia glanced at him, and she could see in his dull eyes that he didn’t understand what she was talking about. She wasn’t at all surprised. “It’ll be a nicely manicured course instead of a rural style, and it’ll have simple three and four par holes. I’m thinking we’ll probably only do nine holes instead of the full eighteen, so we can keep costs down and avoid destroying all of the greenery and trees surrounding the property.”

Her boss hummed softly to show that he was listening, although his mannerisms didn’t really reflect that. As Julia continued talking about her ideas on pricing and facilities and amenities, Anthony sneakily moved closer and closer to her side.

“Well, this is Brian from the brewery’s idea, so we were going to discuss the details-” Anthony grabbed her by the chin and collided their lips in a firm, demanding kiss. Although she saw it coming, in theory, she didn’t realistically expect him to do something so insane. In her shock, she was frozen to the spot, his lips working against her unmoving ones. They stayed like that for almost ten full seconds until a voice broke the ‘moment’. She’d recognize Patrick’s voice anywhere.

“What the fuck!”


	15. Are We, We Are

"This is, what, our third time staying here? And we've never heard about you being in a relationship until now!" Patrick and Julia were standing at the edge of the backyard, standing as far away from Anthony and Patrick’s band mates as possible.

"The first time you guys were here, the four of you had to share one hotel room and I didn't see you the entire time because you were writing your album. I didn't even know your names back then. The second time, well, we all remember what happened during that week." She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling far more defensive than she should. There was no need to explain herself.

"And you told me you were single." Patrick accusingly stated with a frown, a crinkle appearing between his eyebrows.

"I was! What kind of person do you think I am?" Julia scoffed softly and pursed her lips. "And don't start on me, you have no idea if I'm in a relationship or not."

“It sure as hell looks like it, unless you’ve made a habit of kissing your hotel guests.”

She really didn’t appreciate what he was insinuating. "Fuck you. That man is my ex, Patrick. He's also my boss. I can't exactly slap him without getting myself into trouble, let alone in front of guests."

Patrick didn’t seem to believe her, but honestly, she didn’t have patience for his attitude. She had enough shit on her plate without dealing with his degrading implications. It was enough that Patrick had physically pulled her away from Anthony the second she managed to pull away from his kiss, and now he was all but yelling at her in front of her boss and her patrons.

“I thought we were getting along again, I thought we were starting to bond,” The singer was rambling, hands moving almost frantically with his words. “I even watched your friend’s kid!”

That got her blood boiling. Julia was inches away from revealing everything, just pouring salt into an already opened wound. She didn’t know if the wound was hers or his.

“Stop talking about things like you know anything about anything!” Definitely not her best come back, but whatever. “You aren’t my boyfriend, you never were. I don’t have to tell you shit about my love life. If you actually gave a shit about me, you wouldn’t have disappeared without a word for a full year. You can’t waltz back into my life and expect me to fall to my knees or something. I’m not one of your little fangirls.”

“I didn’t say you were!”

Julia stabbed a finger into Patrick’s shoulder pointedly. “You clearly were expecting something from me,” She scoffed in realization, rolling her eyes. “Of course, you thought that we were becoming friends again, you said so yourself. You just wanted to fuck me again, and now you’re disappointed at the prospect of me not being single? Not falling onto my back for you?”

She watched as he stuttered out denials, taking off his trucker hat and running a frustrated hand through his thinning hair. “Jesus fuck,” He muttered under his breath, turning to strike a fist against the picket fence that blocked off the wooded property. “That’s not what this is about!”

Staying silent, Julia waited for him to continue on. Raising an eyebrow and motioning for him to keep talking, the two let a distinctly thick silence wash over them for a moment. She could see Anthony impatiently looking at his watch over Patrick’s shoulder. Pete, Joe, and Andy were talking among themselves, seemingly not even trying to eavesdrop. They could tell this wasn’t the time to be funny.

“What is this about, then?” Spoke Julia eventually, unable to wait any longer.

“Just…” With a small huff, he pulled the cap back onto his head, ignoring the long hair sticking out at odd angles. “I don’t know, I’m not trying to rehash the same fight we had last week. I wanted to establish a real, proper friendship this time. Not like last time. I want to leave knowing that I can call you and we can pick up on a conversation, or that if we decide to stop by again, you won't hate me.”

“And if, _if_ , I was dating, which I’m not, how would that change your alleged desire to be friends?” Her tone was challenging, and Patrick shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

It was like he didn’t know what to say, and it took him a minute to mull over his words. “Yeah, okay,” His voice was much quieter, nodding a little in understanding “Yeah, you’re right, you know. I can’t lie and say that I wasn’t considering there could be something more here, but it’s not just that. I was hoping you’d be honest about the fact that you’re in a relationship and then I’d know that there’s not a shot for me and it’d be just friendship.”

“You can’t have been expecting that you and I start a relationship. Besides the fact that we hardly know each other, you would always be gone. Be realistic here.”

Patrick rolled his eyes at her. “I wasn’t planning on asking you out or something, I just meant that… y’know… if we were both single…”

The suggestion was clear in his voice, and it was Julia’s turn to roll her eyes. “We aren’t having this discussion,” Putting her foot down, she straightened up and made it as clear as possible that she wasn’t going to talk about them hooking up again. They were going in circles. “If you really want to be a friend, maybe you should be more concerned with the fact that I told you he’s my ex and my boss, and yet you just caught him kissing me. And if you were actually paying attention, you would have noticed it was very one sided.”

“Oh.” Patrick cleared his throat, looking startled at that reminder. His eyes averted, clearly at a loss. Once again, the silence drug on, stuttering between them.

“That’s what I thought,” She nodded a little, a sad smile curling her lips. Her eyes looked dull. “I have to go back to work, Patrick.”

Turning on her heels, Julia left him standing there, eyes following her as she rushed back over to her boss. Patrick could hear her murmuring apologies, though she seemed to keep out of arm’s reach. Stalking past the pair and his own band mates, his silence drudged on until he was securely back in his hotel room, door locked behind him. Hearing Pete ramble on about Julia and the stranger wouldn’t do him any good when his head was so cluttered already.

Apparently, Mr. Lee was going to be staying in town for the better part of a week.

He told Julia and her employees that he was going to be “evaluating” their performances and he was going to be making “executive decisions” based on his findings.

In other words, he was looking for ways to fire people. Specifically Julia.

She could sense it coming a mile away. If he wasn’t satisfied with her golf course idea, or thought she was giving employees a little too much freedom, hell, even if she didn’t give him the attention he so clearly craved, it would be her butt getting sacked. Rumors were already starting to circulate, commentary about what happened in the backyard. Although Julia wasn’t sure who had seen the kiss, or the fight with Patrick, she knew she had to do everything she could to keep the gossip to a minimum. Her reputation didn’t matter nearly as much as her job did.

By the time she left work at six thirty in the evening, she felt more like a zombie than a human.

“How was your meeting?” Rachel asked casually, cooking eggs when Julia arrived home. There was a strangled sound akin to a sob that caught the girl’s attention, and she immediately took the food off the stove so she could go and hug her best friend. “Woah, woah, what happened?”

“He fucking kissed me!”

Rachel flinched back, shocked. “Patrick did?”

“No, Anthony,” A small crack broke her voice and she gripped her best friend closer for a brief moment before letting her go, almost desperately motioning for her to continue cooking. “He came in person for the meeting. He refused to have a proper sit down discussion so I was giving him a walking tour kinda, and he just fucking kissed me right there, in front of guests and shit, in front of Patrick even!”

“What did you do?” Rachel was hardly watching the breakfast for dinner cooking, too worried about her friend.

“Patrick pulled me away before I could do or say anything. Then he had the audacity to go off on me!” Julia scoffed and opened the fridge, pushing some things around until she found a six pack of beer. “He was going on about all this bullshit, me not telling him I’m- in his words!- in a relationship and how it wasn’t fair to him.”

Leaning against the counter as she sipped her drink, she gratefully took the plate of scrambled eggs that her roommate handed over. “I’m confused, I thought you and Patrick didn’t have a thing going on?

“We don’t!”

Rachel looked as confused as she felt. “So…I don’t get it, what was he upset about? You aren’t even with Anthony?”

Julia hummed in agreement, pointedly motioning at Rachel. Neither of them spoke for a moment while they ate and drank, giving her the time she needed to really try to figure things out.

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” She repeated, shaking her head and sighing under her breath. “He’s an asshole. He’s too wrapped up in whatever bullshit fantasy he has of me to even realize that I was being freaking molested by my boss…” Her voice trailed off, shoulders slumping with her exhaustion. The two stood there in the kitchen, finishing their dinners and drinks in silence. Even though they didn’t discuss the problem anymore, Julia’s stress hung in the air.

Sensing that Julia didn’t really want to talk about it, Rachel set a comforting hand on her arm before heading out for her shift at the bar. The apartment was strangely quiet without her best friend and her baby there. It felt dead, missing the air that the other two breathed into it. Although it was nice to have a little bit of peace and quiet, she wasn’t enjoying it nearly as much as she assumed she would. But, she’d take all the relaxation she could get; it was a rare thing.

For a short while, she was content to sit on her couch with the television playing some random rerun in the background, creating just enough noise for her to feel less alone. There was an open bag of goldfish snacks next to her, mindlessly eating them to pass the time. Although she was absolutely exhausted, her mind was racing. It’d be impossible for her to sleep.

After an hour, she caved.

Snatching up her sidekick from the coffee table, she tapped a familiar number, waiting for someone to answer.

“Dragonfly Inn, Roger speaking, how may I help you?”

“Hey, um, it’s Julia,” She cleared her throat a little, trying not to sound as awkward as she felt. “Could you transfer me to room nineteen please?” If Roger made a suspicious comment about her calling for that specific room, he didn’t say it loud enough for her to hear. The line was ringing, giving her time to question if she was making the right choice or not.

Before she could hang up, someone answered the other line.

“Um… hello?” A wave of relief at Patrick’s voice; at least she wouldn’t have to ask Pete to hand over the phone.

“Don’t say anything, okay? Let me get this off my chest, please,” She heard a sound like he was surprised to hear her voice, but he kept quiet anyway. “You weren’t wrong. I know a lot of the things I’ve been saying kind of go against that, but it’s true. Mostly. I wasn’t lying when I said things are complicated. A lot has changed over the last year. My mom disowned me, my dad passed away, Nathaniel happened…” Her voice cracked around the boy’s name, threatening to ruin her secret. “We were friends, I really liked you a lot, in more than one way. I was stupid enough to wait around for your phone call like it was actually going to come because I thought there really was something between us. Even if you weren’t attracted to me or something, I didn’t expect for you to drop off the face of the planet.”

Julia paused to take a deep breath and gather her thoughts. If she wasn’t careful, she’d end up spending thirty minutes repeating herself and the things they’ve already discussed.

“Jules…” Patrick started, voice fading away like he expected her to continue on her rant.

He wasn’t wrong. “And then you show back up here, acting all normal and nice! It’s not like I wasn’t expecting more out of you either, like I didn’t do the whole ‘he’s single, I’m single’ thing inside my own damn head. But there’s always something happening with me, it’s not that simple anymore, it’s not just fucking when there are feelings involved!”

The singer made a strangled sound, repeating ‘feelings?’ under his breath. Instead of pausing to gather herself again, she kept on, knowing she had to get as much off her chest as she could.

“Seriously, completely honest, I’m not in a relationship, I’m not dating Anthony. I was with him when I was nineteen. He was seven years older than me and I didn’t know any better and he had a wife. Fuck, I was the other woman without even knowing it! And when I found out, shit, he… he hit me, he said things, he threatened me,” She heard a dry, humorless laugh and it took a second to realize it was her making that noise. “He moved to our New York branch and worked his way up the ladder and here he is now, my boss, lording over me the fact that he could tear down everything I’ve built up over the last few years if I don’t play along with his little fantasy.”

“He hit you?” Curiously, Patrick’s voice was oddly calm, like they were simply discussing the weather. “What kind of threats did he make?”

“Huh? Um, the usual in that kind of situation, I suppose... ” Julia grew quiet, her exhaustion suddenly hitting her like a ton of bricks.

The tone on the other end of the line stayed strangely flat. “Did he threaten to kill you?”

Coughing softly, she didn’t want to answer. Julia stayed quiet for a long moment, eyes staring blindly at the tv screen, not realizing the show had changed to an unfamiliar movie. Patrick was patient enough to wait for her answer.

“Yes.”

The moment that single word slipped from between her lips, it was as if the world shifted completely upside down. She had never admitted that out loud before but here she was, letting it all out, to Patrick of all people. This wasn’t really where she had planned for this phone call to lead to, but at this point, she completely forgot her original intentions. Neither of them said a single word for at least five minutes, but with the amount of commercials flicking past, she could assume it was more like ten minutes before the singer finally spoke up.

“I think I need to go before I say something stupid. I’m sorry I misjudged you. I have a million excuses I could make, but honestly, I’ve just been a dick,” He admitted honestly, unusual tension still in his every word. “If you’ve got the time in the next couple days, I’d, uh, like it if maybe we could discuss this in person?”

Julia nodded in agreement before remembering that he couldn’t see her. “Um, yeah, I’ll check my schedule tomorrow and I’ll let you know?” The man only hummed in agreement before hanging up the phone, not bothering with more than a soft ‘later’ as his goodbye.

The line went dead. Dragging herself to her silent bedroom, Julia all but knocked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a chance I won't post a new chapter next weekend. I've gotten head-over-heels obsessed with the show Would I Lie To You? (Anyone else know it??) and I have become ridiculously obsessed with watching it repeatedly and reading as much fic as I can (sadly, there's almost none on ao3, rip). I usually stay one or two chapters ahead with this fic so I don't have to worry but I'm definitely not ahead at this point. If the next couple of chapters are a little bit mediocre or sped through, my bouncing around fandoms is all to blame. I also am feeling a little bit blocked with the progression of this without doing a big time skip (which is coming soon anyway), so I may take this upcoming week to write another story or a one shot or something, idk yet. I will do my absolute best to not skip a week, but I can all but promise I will not skip two weeks!


	16. About A Girl

When Julia woke up in the morning, her head was pounding with an emotional, non alcoholic hangover. She was still wearing her work clothes from the day before, minus her bra. Hell, she hadn’t even bothered taking off her makeup.

Lucky in a way, without Nathaniel there in the morning, she had enough time to shower and take her time getting ready. With the extra time she had not needing to take care of feeding or changing her baby, she decided to make a pit stop at the nearest record store. It was a bit out of the way, but Julia had a goal in mind. She didn’t usually have reason to buy cds, content to listen to whatever was on the radio, but there was one particular album she felt compelled to buy. As soon as she succeeded in finding the specific one, she hurried back to her car and popped it into the stereo.

“Attention, attention, may I have all your eyes and ears to the front of the room if only, if only for one second…” The singer’s voice crooned through her speakers, bringing a wide smile to her face.

The music seemed to calm her racing mind a little. Although she didn’t seem to be focused on any one thing in particular, her mind refused to slow down. It was practically a train wreck that you couldn’t look away from- one by one everything knocking into one another, a pile up of disaster growing bigger and bigger with each passing moment.

The facts were all laid out bare in front of her now. Anthony was certainly trying to stir up trouble; it wasn’t all in her head, brought up by some sort of guilt induced paranoia. Patrick felt… something towards her. She couldn’t tell what, but between their few interactions at the Inn, plus the phone call where she told him her (second) biggest secret, yeah, there was definitely something. No matter how much she wanted to deny still being faintly interested in the man, what was the use of lying? There was still the lie of Nathaniel looming over her head, but it felt a tiny bit less like suffocation now.

But, despite revelations and truths, none of it mattered. All she needed to do was get through the next six days and both Anthony and Patrick would be out of her life again.

With that focus fueling her, Julia let her mind wander with the flow of the music. Despite the fact that it was still early February, the weather was rather pleasant, so she drove with her windows unrolled. When she pulled into the parking lot of the Inn, she noticed Pete, Joe, and Andy playing catch with a football near the grass. Stopping in the spot with ‘manager’ written on the sign, it took only a brief second for the three boys to notice her. Pete said something to the other two, but she couldn’t hear what it was over the next song starting.

“Morning Jules!” Pete grinned, tossing the ball to the drummer before jogging his way to her SUV.

“Good morning.” Smiling a little, she grabbed her suitcase from the car, taking her time to finish the song that was still playing.

Pete raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door and promptly shoving his head into the open window. “You’re listening to The Academy Is…?”

“Oh, you’ve heard of them?” Perking up, she grabbed the cd case to show her friend. “My cousin is the singer.”

“You’re related to William Beckett?” Pete grabbed the jewel case and scanned the song list, humming with interest. “I helped get these dudes signed to Fueled By Ramen.”

Julia grinned wider, eyes almost twinkling with excitement. “Did you really? Bill is my uncle’s son, he emailed me last week to make sure that I’d support him and his friends. I haven’t seen him in a couple years, but his voice sure hasn’t changed.” The music stopped when she turned off the car, but Pete and Julia’s easy chatter continued on as he walked with her into the Inn. Briefly greeting Michael at the front desk, she expected Pete to leave and rejoin his friends out in the front, but instead he patiently waited for her to catch up on work notes before she made off towards her office. The bassist walked with her, even though their casual conversation had stopped. It wasn’t until she stood a few steps into the small room that she turned to look at Pete, still standing in the doorway.

“Um… Is there something I can help you with…?” He simply shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame with a forced sense of relaxation. All of the sudden, it dawned on her. “Don’t tell me he told you.”

“Well…” Pete dragged out the few letters long enough for Julia to groan and shove her briefcase into a spare chair with more force than was needed. She motioned for him to close the door, he hurriedly did just that, but didn’t move any further into the room.

Halfway sitting on her desk, she closed her eyes and ran a tired hand through her hair. “What did he tell you, Pete?” When she opened her eyes, the bassist was shuffling nervously from foot to foot. She frowned deeply, being as patient as possible for him to buck up and tell the truth.

“He, well… He kind of told us everything…”

“And ‘everything’ means..?” Pete glanced over his shoulder like he was worried that Patrick would be looming behind the closed door. There was a long moment of silence, Pete clearly trying to choose his words carefully.

“According to him… that guy, your boss guy who’s also your ex-boyfriend, is maybe a bigger dick than any of us originally thought, and at first he wasn’t really telling us anything, but fuck Jules, he looked so pissed. I don’t remember the last time I saw him looking like he was going to implode,” Julia’s angry expression must have been enough to knock Pete’s mind back on the right track. “Um, well, Trick said the dude hit you, and said he was gonna kill you…”

When Julia didn’t reply for a full ten seconds, Pete edged towards the closed door like he was about to make a run for it. “And why have you made the decision to follow me around?”

“Oh, um,” His expression betrayed his confused thoughts for a brief moment. “I kinda had this idea that the boss man wouldn’t be able to screw with you if he couldn’t get you alone.”

“And you think standing around outside my office like a weird, punk bodyguard would help? I still have to have one on one meetings with Mr. Lee,” Although she was speaking quietly, it was clear she was less than pleased with the situation. Suddenly, she stood from her desk and turned to kick over her little wastebasket. “Fuck, he shouldn’t have told you! This is what I get for trusting him and telling him shit he has nothing to do with!”

Pete moved towards her, palms forward in a placating manner. “He didn’t tell us to fuck up your trust in him or something, he wanted to try and protect you-”

“I don’t need protection, Pete! I’m a grown ass woman in a high ranking position, this isn’t the first time I’ve had to deal with fallout because of Anthony!” Rounding on Pete and pointing a finger accusingly, she narrowed her eyes. “You, all four of you, stay away from this office, and from me. I don’t need protection.”

Although Pete looked like he wanted to protest or come up with some placating rebuttal, he slowly nodded, taking large steps back until he managed to bump into the door. Looking to avoid her wrath, his hand scrambled to find the doorknob while he muttered, “Sorry, I just, sorry.”

“I have important work to do, until noon. Tell Patrick I want to speak to him after that, and if he doesn’t show up, you can count on never staying in this hotel again.” Julia said in a no-nonsense tone, staring at Pete. Taking a deep breath, she turned away from him and grabbed her briefcase, setting to work. She didn’t turn away until he had left the room, shutting the office door behind him.

To say that Julia’s mind was preoccupied during her phone call with the bar manager next door would have been an understatement. She was furious. The night before, after she had revealed the truth to Patrick, she had wondered if she had done the right thing or not. If she had made a mistake putting her trust in someone she genuinely didn’t know so well. Someone who clearly had a history of overreacting, if his reaction to Anthony kissing Julia was any indication.

The hours must have flown by without her realizing it, because one minute she was starting the first of her three phone meetings, the next minute she was typing an email when there was a tentative knocking on her office door.

“Come in,” She absently called out, mind focused on work, thinking it was probably one of her employees needing something. Her gut dropped when she looked up from her computer and saw the face she was dreading. “Patrick.”

“Look, Julia-” She stopped him by holding a hand up, motioning for him to close the door. Patrick hesitated for a brief second before closing the door and awkwardly sitting in the empty chair across from her desk.

Waiting for him to sit down, she crossed her legs and steepled her hands on her desk. “Don’t say anything yet, just listen,” Patrick nodded quickly, thankfully keeping his mouth shut. “I don’t know why you think you have any authority over my life or my interactions with other people, and frankly, I don’t care why you think that, but it needs to stop. I don’t care what we had in the past, and there sure as hell is no future between us if you can’t get it through your head that I don’t need you. I don’t need your protection from Anthony, I don’t need you pestering me about why I didn’t go back to school and stayed working here instead, I don’t need you offering to take care of Nathaniel,” Patrick opened his mouth like he was going to speak up, but froze under Julia’s unwavering glare. “Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the gestures. Things like you taking care of Nathaniel, you will never understand just how much that means to me, truly. But it doesn’t matter, Patrick, because if you can’t understand what I mean when I’m telling you off like this, then all those nice gestures don’t really mean anything at all.”

Julia didn’t know what else to say, so she stayed silent. Patrick looked like he was processing her words carefully, not wanting to step in the wrong direction. Again.

“I… I’m sorry,” Well, that was one way to start. Julia crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to continue. He didn’t for nearly a full minute. “I was hoping to protect you, but uh, you’re right I guess. I don’t have the right, y’know… for stuff like that.”

“Are you finally realizing how selfish you’ve been?” It sounded accusatory, but she didn’t bother correcting her attitude.

He slowly nodded, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “I’m getting there,” Patrick muttered dejectedly. “Is there anything I can say?”

“Seriously?” Julia scoffed as her frown deepened. “No. I think it’s best if we keep this, whatever this is, strictly professional. You’re a guest at my Inn, and that’s it.” It stung, but it was impossible to tell him he was the father of her child at this point. It would have to stay secret.

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes, until her desk phone rang and she held up a finger to Patrick to indicate that they weren’t done discussing things. It was Michael at the front desk, just wanting to let her know about a couple small pieces of business that he was taking care of for her, so she could cross them off her to do list. Patrick’s silence carried on until long after she hung up the phone and adjusted her notes appropriately.

“Is there a chance for us to be friends, or is that long gone?” Julia looked up from her notepad in surprise. It wasn’t that she had forgotten that he was there, more like she just didn’t expect him to say anything after she had gone off on him.

With a quiet sigh, Julia slightly reclined in her chair, letting the stress settle in her tense shoulders. “No, I don’t think we can be, Patrick.”

If anyone were to ask her to point out one single moment where she could sense that she was destined for hell, it would be that moment right there. The look on Patrick’s face, torn and upset, fighting with himself wanting to fight against her. They had been going in circles, rounding an ever-looming drain, saying the same things repeatedly but never changing their stances.

Did she want to cut him off like that? No, definitely not, but she didn’t have many other options. She couldn’t rely on him to fight battles for her, hell, he wasn’t even going to be in town after a few more days anyway. Julia had managed well enough without him through tougher moments in her life, and dealing with Anthony wasn’t a new thing.

Seeing as neither of them felt like there was anything more to say, Julia shifted to sit up straight, picking up a pen from her desk. “If you need any assistance during your stay, Mr. Stump, our manager Michael will be able to help you with whatever you need.” Although her words were cordial, she didn’t bother flashing him with her polite manager smile.

Feigning being occupied, Julia didn’t watch him leave. It wasn’t until the door quietly clicked closed behind him that she dropped her pen and buried her face in her hands.

“Fuck.” She mumbled miserably. There was enough beating around the bush, enough playing nice. She’d be getting her son back with her in a few hours, and she couldn’t think of one single thing more important than that. Not having to deal with Anthony for the next two days, not Patrick for the next five. All that mattered was doing her job, confidently and smartly, like she had been doing since she was nineteen, and loving her little boy until the end of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that I didn't do any writing during that week of me not posting... But hey, I'm still here!
> 
> We're getting to the end of what I consider "part one", so there will be a time jump coming probably at chapter 18.


	17. Line In The Sand

If Julia was to be honest with herself, a lot had changed in the few days since she had told off Patrick. They hadn’t spoken since that moment in her office, he hadn’t even crossed her vision. If he was actively working on staying hidden from her, or if he had just locked himself in his room, she didn’t know, but she honestly wasn’t complaining.

Although she had been fully prepared to deal with Anthony and any repercussions that might come from the band’s interference, nothing came of it. He wasn’t angry about her rejection or Patrick’s interruption- not outwardly, at least. With her warnings, none of the band members filed complaints against the man. Don’t get things twisted, Anthony was still an absolute pain in her ass. Constantly disregarding her ideas and plans, but because she had so thoroughly detailed her golf course idea, he was forced to accept it and send it off to get approval on finances, and the okay from the county to build it.

Thankfully, since Michael was properly a manager, she was able to pass along a lot of the day to day tasks, keeping herself holed up in her office to work on the project and deal with the mediocre life of a pencil pusher.

She didn’t mind, it kept her from any awkward encounters with certain singers.

Three days had passed since her last conversation with Patrick, and there were three more days until all four boys disappeared out of her life, permanently. Despite the fact that her unhappiness had been properly conveyed to Patrick and Pete, Joe and Andy didn’t quite get the message. They had kept their distance from her in a more general sense, but that wasn’t exactly out of the ordinary.

Joe had tried to talk to her a couple times. She was sure, without a doubt, that Pete was smart enough to spread the word about not following her around and trying to get in her business again, but Joe often liked to do things his own way. He wasn’t necessarily trying to press into her work life the same way Pete and Patrick had tried, but he was definitely acting friendlier than the other two.

After three days of radio silence, he found her in the dining room, greeting hotel guests with her manager's smile. Joe was at a table by himself, feet kicked up onto a chair while he sipped far too casually on a cup of coffee.

“Good morning Mr. Trohman, I’m surprised to see you up this early. I had you pegged as a late starter.” If he noticed that she was using her work tone, he didn’t comment on it.

“You’ve got that right,” Joe winked at her playfully, spreading his arms out. “King of sleeping in, until your asshole friends wake you up to get everyone their breakfast. They said I’ve skipped out on the morning run too much, and Pete threatened to kick my ass if I found another excuse, so...” Rolling his eyes, he quirked a crooked grin.

Surely, there was more to it than just that. There was always something more to it. Joe casually reclined in a space where Julia was known to frequent- of course, it was her hotel, so that wasn’t hard to figure out. Clearly he was calling attention to himself, having his feet up, taking up more space than necessary. But he didn’t say anything more, just drank his coffee and waited.

Before she could ask why they didn’t just order room service, one of her staff members came out with a large tray, stacked with food and extra coffees. Joe hopped up from his seat and quickly saluted Julia before taking the food tray and making his way out of the dining room.

“Oh good Lord… Lee, hurry and follow him, I have a feeling there’s going to be a mess…” She gently warned the server, motioning towards the retreating guitarist.

Julia, five hours later, was standing at the front desk, helping a small group make plans for later in the week. It was always one of her favorite parts of the job; not just interacting with hotel patrons, but actually being able to be involved in their stay and their happiness.

“And if you head to the right side when you get out there, you’ll see the marina just a short walk down the boardwalk, we’ve got a fantastic party boat that you can rent. Here, I’ve got a pamphlet with more information…” She paused to dig through a drawer in her desk, making a pleased sound when she found the slip of paper. When she raised her head, Joe freaking Trohman was standing next to the group, acting far too casual for her liking.

Putting any notice of him to the back of her to-do list, she finished up with the guests first, giving them details about other activities around town that they could enjoy. At least eight minutes passed before the group left and Julia had nothing else to pay attention to.

“Hey Jules!” Joe slid in front of her, putting on his annoyingly charming grin. He even reached out to lightly push her shoulder playfully.

He was acting just weird enough to make her suspicious. “What do you want, Joe?” It wasn’t the time for niceties if he was just trying to use her for something.

“Oh come on! Don’t be like that Julia!” All she had to do was raise an eyebrow to get him to shut up and drop the overly cheery attitude. “Okay, seriously, it’s nothing major. We just were wondering if we could play outside, on that little stage. We’ve been trying to keep out of your hair, but it’s kinda hard to be a band that practices new material in a hotel room when you’re attempting to not disturb the rooms around yours.”

“And why is it you suddenly care about the other guests? We’ve already received multiple calls from people in the room around you in the two weeks you guys have been here. I’ve been nice enough to not kick you out already for all the noise.” Julia rubbed two fingers against her temple, feeling an oncoming headache just from the small interaction.

“Exactly. We’re not trying to get kicked out, okay?” At this point, Joe seemed to drop all pretenses. “This is a dope place, and you’re a pretty cool person, and we already know we’re kinda on tenterhooks as it is. I know it’s not my place to poke around in your life, but that doesn’t mean I want you mad at me. Or at any of us, I guess. That’s why I’m asking permission.”

Julia sighed quietly and settled her hands against the desk for a moment. It didn’t take long for her to roll her shoulders back, scrubbing a hand over her face tiredly before nodding. “All right, yeah. You know the drill, nothing too vulgar. I’ll have Michael paying attention to you, I’m leaving early today. I’ll be gone within the hour.”

Thankfully, with that, Joe was off to share the good news with the guys. The last little bit of information must have worked in her favor, because none of the men had shown their faces in the forty minutes she had been at the front desk.

She was out of the Dragonfly and on her way home by two in the afternoon. When she got back to the apartment, she scooped her napping baby into her arms and danced with him in the living room, MTV playing in the background while her roommate cooked up some grilled cheese sandwiches in the other room.

“You’re in a rather pleasant mood,” Rachel grinned, holding a sandwich out for Julia. She took the plate after setting the little boy down against the couch cushions, sitting on the arm of the couch beside him. “Don’t think I’ve seen you like this for a while.”

“Yeah, I know that technically the band hasn’t gone away yet, but I don’t have to deal with them anymore, and that’s enough to bring my spirits up! Give me a few more days and I’ll be back to normal. Anthony leaves tomorrow, the guys leave on Wednesday, we’re almost there!”

Having her best friend on the couch across from her, her baby by her side, it didn’t matter what else was going on.

Except… That all changed a few days later. The day before Fall Out Boy was due to check out of the Inn.

Julia was strolling through the public areas of her Inn that afternoon, when Andy appeared by her side. He was silent and stealthy, and it absolutely caught her by surprise. One minute she was walking down the hallway on the second floor, and the next minute, the drummer was casually walking beside her like he had been there the whole time.

“...Um…” She cleared her throat quietly and stopped in front of the elevator, staring at the man in confusion. “Can I help you with something, Mr. Hurley?”

He raised an eyebrow at her before nodding. Instead of speaking, he motioned her forward into the open elevator. “I was hoping we could have a bit of a chat, if you’ve got the time.”

“Sure, what about?” The hair on the back of her neck prickled a little. Although he looked like the most intimidating man she had ever met, he was exactly the opposite. She was well aware of this, but her brain always flashed a very brief warning light whenever she eyed the man.

“Maybe we should go somewhere more private..?” Andy suggested hesitantly, rubbing his hands together. Julia’s nerves were increasing by the moment, but she agreed nonetheless. Michael was busy using her office for his own work, and the employee break room was certainly out of the question, so Julia led the way out of the hotel and towards the same dock area she had shown the group of guys in the beginning of their stay. Both Julia and Andy stayed silent during the walk, which eased her senses a little, but seemed to work him to a minor frenzy.

When they sat at the picnic bench in front of the small row of shops, his knees were bouncing, fingers tapping on the wooden table.

“Is something wrong?” Asked Julia hesitantly, eyeing the nervous man. She had always gotten on with him fairly well, though it was usually more a companionable silence more than anything. Seeing the drummer twitching like this was achingly new.

“I wouldn’t exactly say anything’s wrong…” His gentle voice trailed away, eyes closing for a brief moment as he collected his thoughts. She stayed quiet, wanting to let him get his words out in his own time. “Well… Thing is, I just want the truth.”

If her face showed disappointment, she wouldn’t have been surprised. “Oh come on, Andy, you can’t really expect me to allow Patrick to act that way, he’s not the boss of me-”

“Not about what happened with Patrick, you know that’s not what I’m talking about.”

“About… Anthony? I was young and stupid, sure I made mistakes, and yeah, I’m dealing with some ramifications I didn’t exactly expect, but still…” Instead of him cutting off her words again, she slowly stopped speaking, frowning at the expression across his features. It was hard to place. It was like he was accusing her of something, but he wasn’t angry, or disappointed…

“I’m not talking about him, either,” Andy paused and raised an expectant eyebrow, waiting for her to continue talking. When she didn’t, his frowned only deepened, although this time, it held a little more uncertainty. “I’m talking about Nathaniel.”

Okay, that, she didn’t expect. “Nathaniel..? What about him..?” She was using absolute every single piece of strength within her to seem unphased by the mention of the baby.

It didn’t last long.

“He’s your son, isn’t he? Not your roommates.” If she felt sick before, it was nothing compared to the feeling of bile rising in her throat after hearing those words.

“Ex-excuse me?” Julia tried to laugh, but it came out oddly shrill and cracked. “No, of course not! H-his name is Nathaniel Jones, not Nathaniel Foreman!”

Andy hummed softly, curiously, and crossed his arms over his chest. Leaning forward on his elbows, he leveled her with a look, staring her down. If she didn’t know him better, she’d probably wet herself. “You can trust me, Julia. I won’t tell the guys. I just want you to be honest.”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.” Julia stood up and brushed off her slacks, moving away from the bench and shaking her head.

“Julia, come on,” He stood up as well, but didn’t edge towards her, almost treating her like a deer that would startle if he moved too quickly. “I’m serious when I tell you I won’t say anything.”

There was a silent two minute standoff, the two staring out at each other without moving. Eventually, something inside of Julia snapped, and she collapsed back onto the bench with her head in her hands.

“How did you know?” She asked, voice muffled by her palms. There was a shuffling around her, and when she looked up, Andy was sitting beside her on her side of the table. He wasn’t touching her, but he was close enough for it to be a comforting gesture.

“I could just tell…” The drummer shrugged a little, his once sure tone turned to one of hesitance. “Seeing the two of you together, there was something there. I didn’t want to say anything when you were saying he was your roommate’s kid, but I could see you seemed to be carrying a weight on your shoulders.”

Shifting, Julia slowly came to look Andy in the eyes, body wracked with nerves. “You’re right, Andy, Nathaniel’s my little boy. He’s mine.”


	18. Freshen Up

September 2006

It was nearing seven in the morning, and if she didn’t leave soon, she’d be late for work. Again. Sure, it didn’t matter so much, considering she was the general manager, but she absolutely couldn’t be late again. She was starting to think her employees were judging her. They’d never say it to her face, but even Michael frowned at her the other day, when she was late for the third time in a two week period.

“Rach, do you know where my shoes went?” Julia called out, lifting her head from under her bed, unable to find what she was looking for.

“Nate’s got them!” Her roommate called out, sounding a little out of breath. After a second, she rushed into the bedroom, toddler in grasp. He had one shoe covering each hand, waving them around as he tried to escape Rachel’s hold.

“Bubby, give me my shoes please,” Standing up from her spot on the ground, she motioned for the toddler to pass them along, but he simply giggled and shouted the word ‘no!’ far too happily. “Inside voice, Nathaniel. Come on, you’ve got to get your own shoes on too.” She snagged her flats from his little fists and shoved them on her feet before they could disappear again. Scooping her baby out of her best friend’s arms, she nodded her thanks before sitting on the floor and trapping Nathaniel gently between her thighs. Rachel left the room, in the process of tying her hair into a bun, leaving Julia to finish dressing her struggling toddler.

The only silver lining with Nathaniel and clothing was once you got him into them, he almost always kept them on. So once his chunky little feet were shoved into shoes, and a little baseball cap placed over his messy hair, he was ready to go.

“Here’s his bags, hun. I’ve got to run, I’ll call you later!” Rachel peeked into the bedroom, setting down a small duck-shaped backpack and a brown paper bag.

“Say bye to Auntie Rachel,” Julia gently patted her son’s bottom, grinning as he sloppily blew a kiss and shouted ‘bye!’ as loudly as he could. “Thanks a bunch, have a good day at work!” Rachel was a year into a new job, a bartender for a party planning business, which meant she had much more normal hours than her previous bar tending gig that was nights only. Her step mom took the tot a few days a week, but she could only do so much, considering she had her own life.

Unfortunately, that meant Nathaniel had to go to daycare most days. He didn’t hate it, by any means, but it wasn’t his favorite thing in the world. Separation anxiety hit like a ton of breaks every single morning.

After she hung the little backpack over her shoulder and grabbed the brown paper bag with his breakfast in it, she grabbed his little hand and led him out of the apartment. His daycare wasn’t too far out of the way from her normal drive, thankfully, but it was still a pain in the ass to get him in and out of his car seat, and then deal with his tantrum as he got dropped off.

“Is brekkie time?” The toddler made grabby hands for the paper bag, knowing what was in it. He whined and tried to grab at it until she had gotten them to the SUV, setting on the seat next to his car seat. He didn’t waste any time grabbing for the banana, waving it around in hopes that his mom would unpeel it for him. Julia ignored it in favor of strapping him in, silently ignoring his fussing. Once he was settled and buckled, she unpeeled the banana and unwrapped the granola bar that was also in the bag.

With a quiet sigh, she dropped the backpack into the car and climbed into the driver’s seat. Soft r&b music played through the speakers, keeping her mind pleasantly blank while she drove. She’d be in mental overdrive soon enough.

After ten minutes, she pulled into the parking lot of Nathaniel’s daycare and hurried through the process of plucking her wriggling toddler from his car seat, taking him and his little backpack into the daycare. It was the same process every day; Nathaniel trying to run after Julia as she left, him crying for his mommy, Julia sitting in the car for five minutes willing herself not to go collect him into her arms and never let him go.

Just barely scraping by, Julia made it to work with a few minutes to spare. Thank goodness, she didn’t need any more accusations or judgement from her employees. The moment she left the safety of her car, just as she suspected, her mind went full speed ahead. On top of the regular business of late-summer vacationers and small time celebrities, Julia was going to be interviewed for a magazine article that day.

“Morning, Julia, you’re looking nice.” Cameron commented, grinning at her from his place behind the front desk. He even added a playful little whistle.

“For once, I actually put effort into it,” She joked, stepping behind the desk to look at the overall schedule for the day. “Where’s Michael at?”

The employee hummed for a second and scanned the schedule before pointing to one labeled ‘Michael: phone w/ Mr. Lee @7:30’. Swearing quietly under her breath, she glanced over her shoulder at the closed office door, knowing Michael was in there. She really hoped to talk with him before she got her day started, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen. That also meant she couldn’t hide away in her office, giving herself a pep talk before her interview.

Muttering quietly to herself as she began to work, she was focusing on making notes of tasks that needed to get done when she heard Cameron next to her hesitantly clearing his throat.

“Is there something you need?” She asked, barely tilting her head in his direction to let him know that she was listening even though she was still writing in her notebook. There was a pregnant pause before he finally spoke up.

“Michael told me to remind you…” He cleared his throat again, staring at her nervously even though she seemed unphased. “Fall Out Boy is starting their stay today.”

Her hand froze, pen stilling over the paper. She had completely forgotten, it had been pushed out of her mind by a multitude of projects and work tasks that took precedence.

After the last time the band had stayed, Julia was fairly confident that was going to be the last she’d see of them, in person at least. Andy had discovered her secret, and as far as she could tell, he had genuinely kept it to himself. The band left the day after he found out, and despite the goodbye being uncomfortable, it certainly wasn’t “a musician found out I secretly had his child” uncomfortable. Months later, after From Under The Cork Tree had been released, she received a copy of the cd with a letter from Patrick. She was surprised, sure, but pleasantly so. It wasn’t any grandiose confession or apology, but it was enough of an apology that Julia was able to forgive him. She sent a text to the number she had for him, letting him know she wasn’t mad. She never did find out if he received her text or not.

In all honesty, she had almost forgotten the band. Of course it wasn’t in a literal sense, they had broken into the big time with that last album, and Nathaniel looked similar enough to Patrick that she felt an ache in her chest when she thought about it for too long.

When Julia got a phone call at the Inn weeks earlier, she didn’t feel the usual sense of impending dread at the idea of the group staying there.

Fast forward to the present, Julia staring at her half written sentence, repeating Cameron’s words a couple of times. All the times she pushed off worrying, all the times she told herself it meant nothing, it was all a waste, because it piled on all at once.

“Fuck.” Slamming her notebook closed, she rushed off to the backyard of the hotel. Spotting an empty section of outdoor seating, she immediately slumped down into a chair and dropped her head into her hands. She hadn’t prepared herself. Wasn’t she stressed enough as it was?

Julia didn’t have time to fret. She spent thirty minutes reviewing the topics she wanted to touch on in her interview, fifteen staring at herself in the break room mirror making sure she looked professional and camera ready, and another five pacing the hallway outside of the elevators.

Unsurprisingly, the interview started without a hitch. Julia and the interview, Mr. Allen, discussed the recent opening of the Inn’s golf course, the new selections from the bar and winery next door, the new party boat they had for guests to rent.

“And how often do you have high profile guests staying at your hotel?” Mr. Allen asked, glancing around at the handful of guests mingling about.

“We get high profile politicians or celebrities about once a month or so, but we do our best to keep their stays private to ensure the complete enjoyment of their experience with us-” No matter how prepared she was for questions like this, she wasn’t at all prepared for the moment a full grown man popped up behind her, looking like an emo maniac.

“Oh good gracious!” Mr. Allen held a hand over his chest, startled at the sudden appearance. Turning to look at the distraction, Julia very nearly screamed at the sight of Pete Wentz.

“Mr. Wentz!” Staring at the man, she could see to the front doors behind him, the rest of the band pulling luggage out of a van. “Um, if you need any assistance, Cameron at the front desk can help you.”

“Jules, c’mon, I just wanted to say hi!” The bassist whined, rolling his eyes like she was being stupid for not wanting to be interrupted. For once he didn’t say anything about being called ‘Mr.’ instead of Pete.

Sending an apologetic smile to the interviewer, she shifted to face Pete a little better. “Good morning, if you’ll excuse me, I’m a little busy. We can catch up later.” Fully intending on shooing the man away, he lingered around for a moment longer. Long enough for Mr. Allen to get an idea.

“You’re Pete Wentz, the front man of Fall Out Boy, is that right?” The man stood up, holding out a hand to shake. That perked the bassist up, going into full on entertainer mode. “Have you stayed here before? Would it be possible to include you in the piece I’m doing on the Dragonfly?”

And just like that, Pete was sat beside Julia on the couch, Mr. Allen questioning about his previous stays and how they liked the place. She didn’t miss the looks Andy and Joe sent her, or the frown on Patrick’s face.

Thankfully, in the year and a half since she had seen the front man, he had matured… sort of. Not exactly in any meaningful way, but he was well versed in interviewing strategies, and because of his unending affection for Julia, it was the most positive review she could ask for. He didn’t just praise her, he praised the rest of the staff, the food and bar, he even brought up specific moments and locations for the magazine to include.

His little interview only lasted ten minutes, but it was the longest ten minutes of her life. Sitting there, watching Pete, while the other three watched her.

As soon as Pete was done, he up and left for the check in desk, leaving her fumbling over her words to close out the interview.

“Thank you so much for this, Miss Foreman, being able to include a piece from Mr. Wentz will certainly be an eye catcher for our readers.” Smiling politely, she shook his head and ushered him to the dining room.

“Whatever you order will be on the house, please, enjoy yourself before we get to the photographs.” Originally, she was supposed to have lunch with him so they could go over some of the finer points, tightening up areas of their conversation, but she was so thrown off by the sudden addition of a celebrity reviewer that she needed to lock herself away for a little while.

There was no band in sight when she made her way through the main lobby, and even more lucky, Michael was done using her office, so she was finally able to hide away by herself, needing the time to collect herself. The sudden influx of emotions was confusing; she thought she was completely over everything that happened with Patrick, but seeing him brought up a lot that she had been holding back.

“It’s only a week. One week and they’ll disappear all over again. This isn’t the time to be fretting over some guy. Get on your feet, Julia, you’re better than this.” Okay, so she was talking to herself, but sometimes a pep talk was needed.

Patrick’s face popped into her face, familiar and soft and welcoming in a strange way.

A pep talk was very needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I got carried away binge watching Taskmaster (the UK version, not the trash American version), and my entire writing schedule is bent out of place. Sheltering at home has driven me to a place where I can’t focus on anything at all, including writing. Gotta be honest, my schedule is probably going to continue to be messed up for a little while, but I’m going to try my best to post once every week or two.


	19. Lost In Space

If Julia had any expectations about the group’s stay this time around, they were all bust in the first twenty-four hours. None of them explicitly bothered her or made an explicit racket; in fact, they stayed rather reserved in their first floor rooms, the quiet sound of conversation overlapping with guitar. Maybe they had grown more mature than she realized. Maybe they just looked like the same punk kids she knew, but acted like proper adults.

She had gone home that day with high hopes for the upcoming week long stay.

That hope had disappeared at eleven thirty two in the evening, when she was sitting on the couch, eating from a tub of ice cream and watching reruns while Nathaniel slept in her lap. He had fallen asleep hours before and she hadn’t felt like moving just yet, so she left him curled up with half his body across her thighs. Her phone vibrated beside her, unusual but not completely foreign, so it wasn’t surprising to see the night manager’s name pop up on the screen. What was surprising was what Roger was complaining about- the loud, almost distraught sounds coming from one of Fall Out Boy’s rooms.

Apparently, in a celebration of sorts, Joe and Pete had gone to the bar next door and gotten more than a little wasted. While Patrick worked on music outlines with Andy working on the beats with him, the other two returned with ideas flowing and no filters.

Roger resolved the situation before too many other guests could complain, but he wanted to warn her, and possibly have her deal with it as well, since she knew them pretty well.

That killed her relaxed mood pretty quickly.

Turning off the tv and scooping the toddler into her arms, she carried him to their shared bedroom and carefully tucked him into his little bed. Right before she climbed under her own bed covers, she remembered the ice cream tub she left on the coffee table and rushed out to put it back into the freezer before it all melted.

Julia tossed and turned in bed that night, fraught with dreams of Patrick’s eyes and an undiscovered stress.

That stress didn’t go away when she woke up at six in the morning.

Her son was being fussy, whining and trying to escape the bedroom, complaining that he wanted to stay home and play with his toys instead of going to the daycare where he had to share his toys. Of course, being a few days short of two years old, he wasn’t nearly that elegant in his complaints.

It was more like: “No! Don’t wanna!” and “My blocks, mine!”

“Baby, you’re only going to be there for half the day, remember? Nana Amelia is picking you up and taking you to lunch and the zoo!” Thank heavens, that little reminder did the trick and Nathaniel calmed down enough for her to finish getting the both of them dressed. Her roommate had already packed his breakfast and left it in the fridge, meaning all she needed to do was snatch it along with an apple and granola bar for herself before carrying the little boy out of the apartment and down to her car.

“‘Hank you!” Nathaniel cheered when she handed him the packed meal after snapping him into his car seat.

“Want me to open anything right now baby, or are you going to wait until you’re at daycare to eat?” His little bottom lip jutted out in a pout as he took his time thinking about it, and as she reached for the bag to open up a string cheese, he whined and held it to his chest. Of course, the second she got into the driver’s seat and began down the road, he began to complain that he was hungry. “Bubby, no screaming. I won’t open anything if you keep kicking. You’ll be at daycare in a few minutes.”

No matter what she said to him, he kept whining and kicking, throwing a slight tantrum. Slowly pulling into the first parking spot she saw, she took a deep breath in through her nose before she turned to face the upset little boy. “Deep breath, Nathaniel,” Julia was speaking in a soft voice, reaching out to pat his leg lightly. “Remember what we talked about? You need to be nice if you want something, and screaming isn’t nice.” The two sat in silence until he was sniffling and breathing, still pouting and whining quietly.

Once he was calmed down enough, she got out and plucked her boy from his car seat, taking him into the daycare. She made sure he had his breakfast ready to eat before leaving for work.  
There was a part of her that was excited to go to work and be around adults, but at the same time, there was a voice in the back of her head reminding her of the chaos that happened the night before.

Autonomously driving to work, she talked herself up, expecting it to be a stressful day.

The fact that she was the one who would have to talk to the group was annoying; Roger was a general manager too, and he had been in the position longer, _and_ he had been at the Inn when the drama happened.

“Good morning,” She smiled, waving at another employee who was arriving for the day just as she was getting out of her SUV. “How’s the kids?” Julia and the housekeeper chatted for a few minutes, exchanging stories of their kids.

“Isn’t it almost your boy’s birthday?” The maid asked, smiling warmly. She was a lovely middle aged woman.

“Yeah! His birthday is less than a week away now, we’re almost officially at the terrible twos.” Grinning, the two exchanged knowing looks before the other woman went off towards the employee break room and Julia made her way towards her office.

Michael was at the front desk, ready to intercept her.

“Well, good morning Julia,” He noted in an overly cheery tone, making her groan quietly under her breath. “Here’s a list of complaints for you, as general manager, to take care of. You’ll note most revolve around a specific group of gentlemen. You may be familiar with them.”

Grumpily snatching the small stack of customer complaints from Michael, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Is this because I said you couldn’t leave early tomorrow?”

“Hm, interesting to think I’d be upset that you’re cutting my vacation short.” He crossed his arms over his chest and raised a challenging eyebrow.

“I told you already, Mike, I’ve got no one to cover you until after twelve. It’s not my fault you waited to request the time off,” Julia scoffed a little, sorting through the comment cards and noting the specific guests that she’d have to track down and talk to. “You can bitch at me later, haven’t I got enough on my plate right now?” She waved the papers towards him, not waiting for a response before she turned away and stalked towards the dining room. Slipping into the kitchen, she grabbed the coffee pot and poured herself a healthy sized mug.

She could feel the pressure of stress piling up behind her eyes, giving her a headache far earlier than normal. Although she tried to kill as much time as possible, there was only so much time she could linger around the back of the kitchen and the edge of the dining room.

Squaring her shoulders and taking the stack of complaints with her, she made her way to the two rooms where she knew the band was staying. Since she didn’t know who was in which room, she knocked on the first door she came across. Trying to keep herself as professional as possible, she didn’t let herself relax when Andy opened the door, seemingly already fully awake.

“Julia, good morning,” He glanced over his shoulder, but the sound of snoring let her know Joe was still sleeping. “Um, what can I do for you?”

“I’m really sorry to do this, but I’ve got to talk to all of you.” Julia flashed an apologetic smile, hoping to find a balance between her weird friendship with the group and her role in a professional manner.

His expression told her he already knew what she was going to say. Stepping to the side to let her into the room, she stood next to the little hotel desk and waited while Andy excused himself to the second room to wake up Pete and Patrick. Joe was still sleeping, face down and barely hidden under the bed covers.

A wave of relief washed over Julia when Andy returned and immediately tossed a pillow at Joe to wake him. 

Patrick shuffled in, oversized jacket and sweatpants on, while Pete stumbled into the room without shoes or a shirt, only in a pair of tartan lounge pants. Neither seemed surprised at her standing awkwardly against the desk, but neither seemed over excited at the sight of her. Once Joe was coherent, she sighed to herself, frowning at them all.

“I know that we’ve let you get away with a lot of things every time you stay here, but come on, you guys,” Julia’s shoulders slumped a little. “The stunt that two of you pulled last night was over the top. We got five complaints from other guests.”

“Oh bullshit, Jules, we were just having some fun.” Pete rolled his eyes, flopping onto one of the beds and laying down like he didn’t have the energy to deal with her.

“Pete, there’s a difference between having fun and disturbing half my Inn,” She challenged, shifting again to regain her power stance. If he was going to act like that, she couldn’t be her usual friendly self. “I’m not saying you guys can’t drink and have fun while you’re here, but you can’t get drunk and shout your poetry in the middle of the night.”

“It wasn’t poetry, they were lyrics!”

Her frustration was starting to take over. “I don’t care! This is my workplace Pete, this is a public hotel with other guests, none of whom want to listen to an emo musician at midnight while his guitarist friend plays the most obnoxiously bad chords possible!” She took a deep breath to calm herself and cleared her throat. “Look, I’m sorry Pete, all of you, but this is an official warning.”

With the exception of Pete groaning and complaining under his breath, the other three men in the room stayed relatively silent, all of them looking guilty, though perhaps Andy looked a little pleased at the others getting told off for acting like fools.

“Um, if you have any questions or you need help with anything, someone will be at the front desk to help you.” After a short pause, she nodded to herself and forced another brief smile before leaving the room.

She didn’t get very far down the hall before the door opened and someone called her name. It was Joe, stumbling over his own two feet to catch up with her. He was wearing nothing but boxers, tugging a shirt over his head and he hurried.

“Can we talk for a second?” 

Joe stopped a few feet away from her, fixing his shirt as she leveled a frown in his direction.

“I’m not sure much you’ll say is going to change my opinion right now, Joe.” He didn’t like the sound of that, but he didn’t turn away and give up. Instead, he scratched the back of his head and frowned, trying to think of what he could say to save their asses.

“I’m not saying you should give us extra chances or anything, but y’know… Give us a bit of a break? We were just screwing around, it was harmless fun!”

“And there’s nothing wrong with harmless fun, but I’m trying to run a hotel here, you can’t screw over everyone else just because you want to get wasted-”

“You used to get wasted with us.” Joe protested, defiantly crossing his arms over his chest.

Julia scoffed quietly, hands on her hips. “You’re going to use that against me? That was years ago, and I was never so loud that other rooms complained about the noise. I’ve grown up, haven’t you?”

He looked a little affronted at that, staring at her with his mouth slightly opened. “That’s ridiculous! We are well known musicians, look at the work we’ve done! Adults don’t have to act like they have a stick up their ass. You used to know that better than anyone!”

“Being mildly famous doesn’t mean you can pull your ‘rock star’ act in my hotel and get away with it. The way I acted when I was twenty-one and had no responsibilities doesn’t reflect who I am now. I’m sure you guys have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders nowadays too, maybe you the way you act should reflect that,” Julia huffed, glancing at her watch briefly. “Look, I’m busy, I have to contact all the guests you disturbed last night and apologize on your behalf. If you’ll excuse me.”

And with that, she turned on her heels and all but stomped off, fed up with men acting like boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a short chapter this weekend but at least I wrote something, right?


	20. It's Backfired

By some small grace, almost all of the other guests who had complained about the noise were pretty easily quelled. The promise of a free meal, an apology and assurance that it wouldn’t happen again. Only one couple truly complained, but all it took to settle them down was a certificate for a couple free drinks at the bar next door.

It was a bit after noon when she finally shuffled back into her office, immediately collapsing into her seat and dropping her head onto the desk. Julia took a couple deep breaths, focusing on relaxation.

To say the stress was starting to get to her would have been an understatement.

Her son’s birthday was approaching fast and she still had a lot of planning to deal with. He was getting too big to comfortably share the bedroom with her. The money she was spending on daycare was eating away more than she had been prepared for, but her step mom and best friend could only do so much for her without impeding their own lives. As much as she loved being the manager at the Inn, it was becoming a little more tedious by the day. More and more, she’d fantasize about going back to school and discovering a new passion, or even just picking up and leaving everything except Nathaniel behind and restarting somewhere else. Somewhere fresh.

“Yeah, right, like it could be so simple.” She quietly scoffed, slowly pushing herself to sit up properly in the chair. Glancing at the clock, it was close to twelve thirty, which meant she could take her lunch breath, and if she planned it right, she’d have a bit of extra time before she had to meet with a contractor about an outbuilding for the golf course that was (still) in process of being built.

Without questioning herself, she grabbed her purse and phone and scurried out of the office, glancing around quickly before making a beeline towards the front doors. If any of her employees saw her, they’d probably ask her questions, and she couldn’t risk ruining her little break. She’d text Michael from her car.

It was a near clean getaway, only one employee spotted her, and it didn’t seem like they needed her for anything because they didn’t even call out her name.

Shooting off a text saying that she’d be out of the office for a while due to her meeting, she started up her car and pulled out of her spot. Before she could get too far, her phone vibrated with a reply from Michael. Glancing down at her phone, without stepping on the brakes, to see if it was anything important, she dismissed it and tossed her phone onto the passenger seat before looking up, just barely seeing the group of men walking across her path.

“Fuck!” Julia slammed on her brakes, jolting a little even though she was only moving a few miles per hour. Just her luck, the group was the exact people she didn’t want to see for at least two days.

“Jules!” Pete was surprisingly cheery, not bothered by either her near slow-speed accident, or the altercation from that morning.

Hesitating for a second, she rolled down her window and leaned out a little, raising an eyebrow. Andy was the only one to step out from in front of her SUV. “Sorry about that, guys.” She was referencing her lack of attention to the road, but Pete must have taken it as an apology for being bossy earlier, seeing how his face broke into a stupid grin.

“Where are you heading?”

“Lunch.” As soon as the word left her mouth, she regretted it. She should have lied, she should have said she was off to prepare for her meeting, something else, anything else. Because it didn’t take a genius to read Pete’s expression.

“We’ll go with you!” He stepped closer, leaning against her car casually. “We were about to find a restaurant nearby, it’s perfect!”

“Um,” Joe stepped forward and put a hand on Pete’s shoulder, warily glancing in Julia’s direction. “Maybe we should just leave her alone, dude.”

Before she could agree with Joe, Pete shook him off and rolled his eyes. “Dude she’s not pissed anymore, and anyway, we should buy her lunch as an apology or something!” She sighed under her breath and silently slipped her car into park, knowing this conversation wasn’t going to end anytime soon. The two guys started bickering almost, until Patrick stepped in and finally shut them up.

“How about we ask her instead of forcing ourselves on her?” He rolled his eyes, flashing a briefly apologetic expression to Julia.

The men fell silent, all of them looking at her expectantly.

“Ugh, fine,” Julia finally gave in, dropping her head back against her headrest briefly. “You guys will have to drive yourselves there, the diner two blocks to the right, next to the gas station. I won’t be coming back here for a few hours. I’m busy.” She didn’t bother explaining, just waved them towards their own SUV impatiently.

Pete and Joe rushed off, Andy slowly following behind with his hands shoved into his pockets like he wanted nothing to do with the impending mess. Patrick hesitated, frowning at his friend’s backs before looking at Julia. Shrugging a little and faintly smiling to let him know she wasn’t truly upset, he nodded a little before following his friends.

She waited until they were all in the car and had it started up before she drove off. They’d either keep up and follow her, figure out the way on their own, or get lost. She wasn’t sure which she hoped for most. Unfortunate in a way, they managed to keep up for those few blocks, pulling into the diner’s parking lot right and parking right beside her.

“It’ll be fine, Julia, deep breath,” She followed her own suggestion and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose for a moment before the sound of the guys talking interrupted her focus. “Oh, this’ll be fun…” Her own sarcasm made her wince.

Reminding herself that she used to enjoy their company, she held onto those thoughts as she hopped out of the car and made her way inside, the group of men trailing behind her and chatting animatedly about something she didn’t have the energy to pay attention to. When they got a table, Patrick and Andy flanked either side of her, partially to her relief. They could probably tell that she was a little annoyed with Pete and Joe still.

“What’s good here?” Patrick asked, scanning the menu with a small frown.

“They only do breakfast foods and pies,” Glancing at Andy, she pointed to a section of the menu towards the end. “These are their vegan options, it’s not much but the breakfast bowl is pretty good.”

“Hey so Jules! I wanna say about last night-” Pete started, looking almost eager to explain himself, but Julia stopped him with a single finger raised.

“Let’s discuss this after we order, at least. Come on, this is the only break I get from work and all the other crap I’ve got going on.” She was practically begging, and it was more than enough to get Pete to quiet down, looking a little guilty.

He gave her a brief smile, at least looking a little sorry. “Right, let’s just hang like friends! Like we used to!” He didn’t acknowledge her eye roll just as much as Joe didn’t comment on the fact that she had earlier reminded him that she had grown up.

“So what else is going on?” Patrick asked, always the one to get the conversation flowing with her. Ever since they first met.

Julia hummed softly, a little smile curling on her lips. “Nathaniel’s birthday is coming up, he’ll be two,” She knew she’d have to watch her words, but she couldn’t help but swoon over her little boy growing up. “Oh he’s just the cutest little thing now. He runs around, and he’s got the absolutely most infectious giggle.”

Just to prove her point, she pulled her phone from her pocket and clicked a few buttons until she managed to find a picture she had taken a couple weeks before. “He’s adorable, you’re right.” Patrick was smiling politely and eyeing the picture, the tot wearing bright green overalls with a black and white striped shirt underneath, his strawberry blond hair a wild mess. It seemed like only Andy was comparing the picture to Patrick.

If she had known what Patrick looked like as a baby, she would have realized Nathaniel was practically his twin.

The conversations from then on carried on easily, casual and almost fun even. Any tension that was left over from before had disappeared, leaving room only for them playing catch up. Managing to keep her mind off of her personal life stressors and work difficulties, time passed in a flash.

And if she let herself flirt just the tiniest bit with Patrick? Well, she wouldn’t admit to it.

“It’s just gotten boring, you know what I mean?” Julia slumped a little, sipping at her coffee. Pete made an absently insulting comment about her still working at the Inn, and she couldn’t help but spill her dissatisfaction with the job. “At first, I felt really excited about being the general manager, and I’m really good at what I do, I handle the stress way better than some people. Like, I know Michael is already over it and he isn’t even at my rank yet.”

“What ever happened to going back to school?” Patrick asked, twisted in his seat so he could converse with her more easily. A conversation they continued almost every single time they had seen each other.

“God, I wish. Maybe not for fashion merchandising like I used to want, but something else. Something with more variety than this place is giving me. But there’s only so much I can do right now, y’know? I mean, I make decent money as GM, but raising a toddler and living in a pretty upscale area like this doesn’t help my wallet.”

He raised a confused eyebrow. “Raising a toddler? Shouldn’t your roommate be paying for all that, not you?”

Fuck, catching her mistake immediately, she shook her head and chuckled awkwardly, flashing a too toothy grin. “Right, well, she can’t do it alone. She wasn’t making a huge amount when she was a bartender before, and now she’s a bartender for a party planner so she gets paid better, but she’s saving up to move. Our apartment is too small for the three of us, and-” Julia stopped herself, another awkward laugh as she shrugged. She was about to slip up again. Before she could start speaking again, she glanced at her watch and realized she had taken a little too long on the lunch and was risking running late for her meeting. Bolting up from her chair, she downed the rest of her coffee and began to gather her things.

“What- where are you going? Did I say something wrong?” Patrick stood up as well, looking a little distressed.

“No, sorry, I-” Swearing softly under her breath, she pulled out her wallet from her purse and saw she had no cash on her. “I’ve got a meeting downtown in ten minutes, the nearest ATM isn’t anywhere close to here, dammit!”

Andy gently tapped her elbow, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it, we’ll pay. Specifically, those two will. They owe you after last night.”

Glancing at Joe and Pete who simply sat there looking sheepish but agreeing, she bid them a quick goodbye before rushing from the diner, leaving Patrick standing there watching her go. She missed them commenting on how strange she acted every time she brought up Nathaniel. Speaking about him with more love and pride than a simple roommate should.

If anyone was getting suspicious, Andy was there to steer them in the wrong direction.

Maybe it’s because Julia was in a good mood after the surprisingly enjoyable lunch, or maybe it was just her lucky day, but the contractor she had a meeting with gave her a discount and was more than agreeable with the specifications she asked for on the new build. Her meeting after that with an interior designer to discuss possible updates to the Inn’s rooms also went wonderfully, giving her more positive and modern ideas than she had before.

Things were clicking into place one by one, and by the time she got back to the in at nearly five pm, she was in probably the best mood she had been in in weeks.

Five thirty, Julia was manning the front desk. It was by far the easiest part of the job, checking people in or helping them plan their days. While in the middle of talking to an elderly couple about the golf course and when it would be properly open for use, a familiar little voice was blabbing away about everything and anything, talking to Amelia.

Nathaniel was ranting about the color yellow when he noticed his mom, giddily shouting “Mommy! I’m here now!”

“Oh, excuse me for a second,” Julia’s face broke into a wide grin as she turned and crouched down, welcoming the toddler into her arms as he sprinted at her. “Oh my sweet boy! How was the zoo with Nana?”

“So many ami-nals are yellow!” Nathaniel was excited, kicking his little legs as she lifted him up. “Mommy, mommy!” He continued his rambling about the animals he had seen while out, now talking animatedly with the elderly couple who thought he was the most precious little thing.

“Who’s this little fellow?” The man chuckled heartily, patting Nathaniel’s hair down.

“This is my son, Nathaniel say hi to mommy’s friends.” Julia bounced the boy on her hip, laughing as he quickly interjected a ‘hello!’ into his never ending excitement about lions and tigers.

“Son?”

The voice surprised her, familiar but sounding so strange, so unfamiliar somehow. Julia spun on her heels, eyes comically wide as she came to see Patrick standing behind her. Nathaniel didn’t pay him any mind twisting in her arms so he could continue talking to the elderly couple, now joined by Amelia.

“Oh, uh, P-Patrick, hey-”

“Did I just hear you say he’s your son?”

“Patrick, I can explain,” Julia set her son down, who immediately held onto her hand despite the fact that he was facing the opposite way since he was still getting affection from the guests. “It’s complicated…”

He crossed his arms over his chest, looking a mix of angry and confused. Seeing Nathaniel in person must have triggered something in his mind, though, because there was a clear question in his eyes. The boy’s round cheeks, dark strawberry blond hair, bright blue-green eyes. Patrick’s tiny twin.

“Is it?” His voice was monotone, almost dead. “Is it really, genuinely complicated, or are you just a liar?”

She flinched at the accusation, but she couldn’t deny it. Everything was unraveling, there was no escaping it now. “Patrick, he’s not just my son, he’s yours, too.”


	21. Flying

The two must have stood there staring at each other silently for at least five minutes

Julia’s step mom must have noticed the situation because she scooped up Nathaniel and gently nudged Julia to get her attention.

“If you’re having this conversation right now, go to your office, this doesn’t need to be public.”

She was right, and both of them knew that. Grabbing Patrick’s wrist and dragging him to the nearby office, she tugged him inside and closed the door, not bothering to apologize for handling him a little more roughly than needed. He all but ripped his arm out of her grip the second they were alone.

“You’re lying.” Patrick accused, moving to stand as far away from her as possible.

Julia rolled her eyes and leaned back against the door, eyes focused on a spot on the wall behind him instead of anywhere near his face. She couldn’t look him in the eyes. “Don’t be a dick, Patrick. When have I ever lied to you?”

“Apparently plenty of times, every single time you said he was your roommates kid and not yours.”

Okay, he got her there.

Pushing herself away from the door, she shuffled to her office chair and slumped down into it, head in her hands. Patrick didn’t move, didn’t even turn to face her. He flinched when he heard her start to cry, but he waited anyway, waited for her to explain things, to make the complicated situation less complicated.

“Fuck, fuck,” She whispered under her breath, taking a moment to pull herself together. Bursting into tears wasn’t going to solve her problems. “Okay, yeah, I lied. I lied to you about him being Rachel’s child, but that’s all I lied about. I really didn’t know I was pregnant until after you left.”

“And you expect me to suddenly believe he’s my kid?” Scoffing, Patrick scowled at her, body stiff even as he leaned against the wall.

Blinking at him, Julia shifted a little straighter in her seat, sniffling a little to keep her tears at bay. “Honestly? It doesn’t matter if you believe me or not, Patrick, I’ve been a mother for two years without you,” She laughed shortly, but it was a bitter, almost sad sound. “I always thought that you knowing you had a son would be some grand revelation that would turn both of our worlds upside down. Nathaniel’s too, even. But I’m realizing, I guess for the first time, it doesn’t matter. I kept him hidden on a whim, on the fear that you might abandon your career in some false sense of heroic fatherhood, or that you would be so angry with me that you’d never speak to me again.”

Even as she paused to take a deep shaky breath, Patrick stayed silent.

“I think we can both be honest in saying that we aren’t friends, anyway. Maybe those first two weeks, our friendship could have been genuine, but every single other time we’ve seen each other, it just never felt the same way-”

“Because you were hiding a child from me-”

She didn’t let his interruption stop her, voicing things that were more like absent thoughts. “Would it really be so bad if you were so angry that you’d never speak to me again? It’s not like we’re exactly on speaking terms as it is. And I’m a professional, something stupid like this won’t have any effect on your stay, I suppose…”

“What the hell are you on about?” Patrick’s angry tone burst through her clouded mind, startled as he pushed himself off the wall. “You’re seriously fucking playing around, aren’t you? One second you’re telling me he’s my kid, and the next you’re saying it doesn’t make any difference! What a load of shit!”

All Julia did was raise an eyebrow in his direction, questioning, challenging. “Well… How does it make a difference? You already said you don’t believe he’s your child. If you keep thinking that I’m a liar, your life won’t change.”

The singer stared at her, knowing her words rang true. But there was an itch in his mind, a little thread he felt compelled to pull at. “If, and I fucking mean if, he’s my kid, why wouldn’t you just say something from the get go? I won’t believe you genuinely thought I’d be a dick and never talk to you again.”

“Oh come on!” Scoffed Julia, pushing herself out of her chair. “Don’t be stupid, how would you have reacted? You were eighteen when we slept together! I had just barely turned twenty one when I found out, but I had a career in motion. You were the front man of a little Chicago punk band with dreams bigger than this town, this life I lead.”

Julia took a step towards Patrick, wanting to calm them both down, wanting to try and discuss this thing properly. She didn’t make it more than one step before he instantly bolted for the door, muttering “I need some air.” as he escaped from the office.

With the door wide open, she could see Pete, Joe, and Andy standing at the front desk, looking confused at the sight of the singer storming past. Pete made to chase after him, but Andy took one glance at Julia standing in the office, tears drying on her cheeks, and stopped him. All it took was the smallest nod towards her office for Andy to grab the other two musicians and drag them towards her.

“What the hell is going on?” Pete was still looking around, not understanding why Patrick made for the hills. “Woah- Why are you crying Jules? The hell happened with Trick?”

Sniffling a little and turning away to wipe at her face, she shuffled back to her seat and slumped down into it. “There’s something you guys need to know,” Julia’s voice was quiet, and she flinched as Andy closed the door to give them some privacy. “Andy already knows a part of this. He found out the last time you guys were here.”

“Oh, shit…” The drummer said quietly, eyebrows raised as he stared at her, pieces clicking together. Nathaniel and Amelia had left before the three had gotten to the lobby, but he was a smart guy, he was figuring it out without her saying a word. Clearing her throat, she was preparing for a repeat of the same argument she just had.

“Joe, Pete… Nathaniel isn’t my roommates kid… He’s my son. And… The part that Andy didn’t know… Patrick’s the baby’s father.”

Silence reverberated through the room like time itself had stopped. Pete and Joe stared, completely dumbfounded by the double discovery. Andy’s eyebrows raised even further, blinking like he wasn’t sure what he just heard.

“You’re shitting me!” Joe finally broke the silence, moving forward and leaning against the desk, locking eyes with Julia like he’d be able to tell if she was lying. “How in the fuck did that happen?”

“Well when a boy and a girl-” Pete started, only to get cut off by Andy elbowing him a little harder than necessary in the ribs.

Squirming in her seat, she shrunk from Joe even as she kept eye contact. She wasn’t lying. “It was the beginning of 2003, remember? You guys were here for two weeks or something, Patrick and I were fooling around for most of that. I found out I was pregnant in the middle of February. Enough time had passed since your stay for me to realize that nothing was going to come from him and I, so I kept it a secret.”

“How do you know it’s his and not someone else’s?” Pete interrogated, narrowing his eyes.

“Do you think I’m a slut or something? What the fuck?” Glaring at him, she spat her words at him. “I hadn’t slept with anyone for months before him, dumb ass! I don’t know who you think I am, but you have no right to insinuate that kind of crap!”

“It’s a reasonable question!” Joe argued, though not sounding nearly as wannabe-threatening the way Pete seemed to be. “There has been at least one instance of a fan trying to convince Pete that she was pregnant with his baby! ...Even though he had never seen her before in his life, let alone fucked her…” His voice faded, knowing he was losing his own argument at that point.

“Like I told him, it doesn’t matter whether or not he acknowledges Nathaniel as his son or not. Nothing has to change-”

“Except everything is going to change,” Andy spoke up finally, frowning a little. “If this is true- I’m not saying you’re lying, but if it is, it will change everything for Patrick. You know him, Julia, he would drop everything to help you out.”

Julia nodded slowly, running a hand through her hair as emotional exhaustion began to hit. “That’s what I have always been worried about. I won’t let him give up his life because he accidentally got me pregnant,” The group stayed silent for a minute as she put her head in her hands, focusing. “Look, I have to get going. Nathaniel’s birthday is coming up and I still have plans to make. Just… Talk to him? You have to know I had only his best interest in mind by keeping this secret…”

Grabbing her briefcase and stuffing in a handful of files without really paying too much attention to what was in them, she made towards the door knowing they were watching her.

“And… Tell him I’m sorry. I never meant for things to turn out like this.”

With that, she was gone. The three guys stayed in her office for another couple minutes, exchanging worried looks and wondering aloud where Patrick might have disappeared off to.

No one tried to stop Julia as she left the Inn, and she couldn’t be more thankful.

Pulling into her apartment parking lot in no time, she had to stop and collect herself. Her mind was in zombie mode after everything that had happened, unable to process so many things at once. Who could blame her? After all, it was never her intention for Patrick to find out the truth. And now that he had…

Shaking off the myriad of thoughts racing through her mind, Julia made a beeline for her front door, knowing that just beyond it would be her most prized possession. And as soon as she stepped over the threshold, the little bundle of joy raced over with a glowing grin.

“Mommy! Did I tell you ‘bout the tigers?” Julia scooped the boy into her arms and hugged him securely, peppering his face with little kisses until he burst into laughter and wriggled out of her clutches.

“Sweetie, is everything okay?” She blinked, taking a moment to realize it was Amelia talking to her. “What happened with Patrick?”

Flashing a weak smile, she half shrugged and stumbled towards the couch, all but collapsing on it. “He knows the truth. He doesn’t believe a word of it, but he knows.”

Rachel came out of the kitchen with Nathaniel on her hip and a drink in her other hand. She gave it to Julia immediately and kissed the side of her head sweetly, sitting beside her on the couch. It was her favorite- cranberry juice and vodka. Not strong enough to get her wasted, but strong enough to loosen the tension stringing up her body.

Amelia sat on the little love seat next to the couch and took the toddler, giving him a toy to distract him as Julia told them everything. Not just everything that happened with Patrick and subsequently with the rest of his band, but everything that was going through her head.

“I’m so stupid, I really should have known better. I should have let him make up his own mind instead of doing it for him. I should have-”

“Jules, stop. There’s a million different ways you could have handled this, but you did what you thought was best. Andy wasn’t wrong when he said Patrick’s the kind of guy who’d give up everything to support a baby. Look at where they are now! How likely is it they would have reached this if Patrick decided to move from Chicago to Connecticut for a woman he barely knew?” Rachel was right, of course she was, but it was difficult to understand that after everything.

Keeping silent, she silently drank her cranberry vodka, shifting in her spot until her head could rest on her best friend’s shoulder.

Despite the fact that there was a heaviness in her chest- guilt for keeping Patrick in the dark for so long, sadness that things had turned and twisted into a battle she didn’t want to fight- but despite that, there was a weight lifted off her shoulders. She was free, in a way, no longer forced to use Rachel as a cover or pretend like Nathaniel wasn’t the sun that her existence revolved around.

“Oh, I was thinking!” Rachel caught her attention and Julia hummed just enough to show that she was listening. “Instead of a cake, how about cupcakes? I found this great little bakery downtown, they can put little animal toys on top of each cupcake, so it’ll go with our theme, and the kids from Nate’s daycare will get a little goodie to take home. What do you think?”

“I like it.” A slow smile spread across her lips and she tilted her head enough to watch her boy play with a stuffed giraffe that Amelia had bought him from the zoo earlier that day.

There was the smallest second, the absolute tiniest moment possible, where she thought about how different things would be if Patrick hadn’t had such a negative reaction. The idea of him getting to know his son, watching the toddler show off all his toys and his favorite pair of shoes and discovering that he absolutely loved carrots but hated peas.

Or maybe, if she let herself fantasize… If he had been there from the beginning, maybe Nathaniel would have his own bedroom. He’d have a whole wall mural of animals, a crib overflowing with little stuffed animals. Maybe he’d even write a lullaby for him.

He was a toddler, he didn’t know what he was missing by not having a father, but Julia knew. All of the moments that she had with her own dad growing up, all the moments she lost out on after he passed away. Nathaniel was never going to get any of those.

And it was all her fault.


	22. Watch Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for implied/referenced/threatened domestic abuse

Days had passed since Julia had even seen Patrick. She had barely seen any of the band members, but it was as if he had fallen off the face of the earth completely. She couldn’t blame him.

Music still dripped from their rooms, being careful not to be too loud or too late at night. Julia wasn’t sure if it was her warnings that changed their behavior, or if the surprise news changed everything.

She tried to press on like it had changed nothing for her, either. But in reality, it changed everything. On one hand, Patrick thought she was a liar, and that destroyed her inside out. She had thought their bond was stronger than such accusations, but Julia had to remind herself that they had been ‘proper’ friends for less than two weeks. On the other hand… If there was even a small part of him that thought she was telling the truth, he was willingly ignoring the fact that he had a child. Despite the fact that she refused to allow him to drop everything for a (potentially unwanted) baby, the least he could do is acknowledge Nathaniel’s existence.

It was two days before Nathaniel’s birthday, and she had almost finished planning his party. Some of her staff were invited since she wasn’t the only mother, and a bunch of the kids from his daycare were set to attend as well.

“I can’t believe the clown canceled!” Cameron crossed his arms over his chest, looking as affronted as he would if it was his own party. 

“I know,” Julia groaned as she leaned against the front desk. “I’m not sure where I’ll find another entertainer on such short notice.” Sighing and resting forward on her elbows, she let her mind wander a little, letting herself daydream about what could be the best birthday party for her almost two year old.

There was only so much time she could dedicate to worrying about the party before she was falling behind on the job. Emails were sent, phone calls were made, a meeting with the company lawyer running long. It wasn’t until her cell phone rang that she snapped back to reality.

“Hello?” Julia hummed without looking at the caller ID, pushing the phone between her ear and shoulder as she continued to type away on her computer.

“Mm, baby,” The voice on the other end of the line crooned and she wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Are you busy this weekend? I want to fly you up.”

“Anthony, you know Nathaniel’s birthday is coming up in a couple days, I can’t go to New York right now.” She sighed, slouching in her seat. So… Maybe she was sort of dating Anthony again, and maybe he wasn’t any less of an asshole than before, and he definitely didn’t care about Nathaniel… So maybe there weren’t many upsides to dating him again, but he wasn’t going to fire her while they were together, and he had promised to help her out financially when she needed it… And he was dangling a big pay raise in front of her. She really, really needed the money. Providing for her son took precedence over her dislike for Anthony.

The man scoffed, muttering an expletive under his breath before his tone changed, firm and demanding in a way that sent a shiver up her spine. “I expect to see you soon. You won’t be happy if I have to fly there next week.”

If it was a subtle threat, it worked. “Give me just a few days, okay? Maybe until Monday, so I can find someone to babysit while I’m in New York. That way I’ll be yours with no distractions.” She was pleading a little, well aware of what it took for Anthony to give her a break.

There was a small knock on her office door, and she knew automatically from the rhythm that it was Cameron from the front desk. “I’ve got to go, Anthony, a guest needs me.” The lie rolled off her tongue smoothly, knowing it was safer than mentioning a man’s name, even if it was an employee.

“Who?” He questioned without a pause, tone still making the hair on the back of her neck stand.

She had to think on her feet, if she took too long, he’d get suspicious. That’s when she remembered a conversation she had the day before with a guest. “It’s Mrs. Jameson, this lovely elderly woman traveling across the country to visit her grandchildren in Florida this weekend. She’s probably asking for help with her television again.”

All the older man did was hum, displeased with her answer but not arguing with it. “Monday. If I don’t see you by then, you’ll be in trouble. We don’t want that to happen again, do we?” She flinched on instinct, remembering the feeling of a belt cracking against her back. She had gone four days without contacting him, and he had driven to Connecticut to remind her why that was a bad idea.

“You’ll see me by Monday, I promise.” Julia was quiet, submissive, falling into the bad habit of forgetting that she was stronger than his games. After a quick goodbye, Julia had to shake herself straight before hurrying to get up and answer the door. She could only pray that her fears didn’t read on her face.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt, you’ve got a visitor,” Cameron smiled briefly as he glanced over his shoulder. “Someone named Bill, he says you’ll know who it is?”

The second the name was said, her entire demeanor changed. Her eyes widened almost comically as she suddenly burst from her office, pushing past the employee to rush to the front desk. Standing there with hands shoved into his pockets and a soft look on his features was her cousin (and the singer of The Academy Is…), William Beckett. Scurrying over, she threw her arms around him, laughing brightly as he momentarily lifted her off her feet.

“Jules!”  
“Billvy!”

The two greeted each other at the same time and started laughing again, each taking their time before letting go of the other. When they finally let go of each other, she took his hand and dragged him towards the empty love seat.

“I didn’t think you’d make it!” Lightly slapping at his shoulder, she pouted at him, but it didn’t last long. She couldn’t stay mad at him.

“I wanted it to be a surprise!” He grinned widely, wiggling his eyebrows as he held his arms out, shaking his shoulders in a showy fashion.

It was a wonderful moment, filling Julia with a sense of pleasure that she hadn’t felt in a long time. After spending the majority of her time in worry or an off putting sense of anxiety, it was a weight off her shoulders to have some time to relax and catch up with her favorite cousin. The two grew up quite close, until her part of the family moved to Connecticut. They were practically siblings for the first half of their lives.

She and William sat there for at least forty-five minutes, just catching up and exchanging little stories before they were interrupted.

“Beckett?” Pete questioned a little louder than necessary considering he wasn’t that far away, passing by the other couch when he noticed who Julia was talking to. If her smile turned fake, no one commented on it.

“Wentz! Good to see you man!” The singer stood up to exchange a complicated handshake with the bassist.

“What are you doing here?” Pete’s eyes flickered to Julia for only the smallest second before looking away. Apparently he still wasn’t talking to her after learning of her lies. If she had to guess, he didn’t trust her either when she said Patrick was a father.

William shifted in his seat for a second, looking at his cousin with a worried glance for a brief second before turning back to Pete. “Oh, um, I’m just visiting my cousin! You know, I haven’t seen her in a while and-”

“Bill, don’t worry, they know about Nathaniel,” She rested a hand on his arm, murmuring quietly in his ear. This didn’t need to be public knowledge in the middle of her Inn. “I told them everything a few days ago.”

“Oh,” Even though he still looked a little concerned, he eased up and wrapped an arm around Julia’s shoulders, smiling a little more confidently now that he didn’t have to beat around the bush or lie to Pete. “Well, right, baby Nate’s birthday is in two days, so I’m here to celebrate the little guy.”

Pete looked upset, betrayed almost, as he rounded the couch and closed the space between the three. His eyes flickered in Julia’s direction again, but his gaze didn’t last long. “How long have you known about this?”

“Uh, I think she was about six months pregnant when she told me?” He hummed in thought, not seeing the distress in Pete’s eyes. “I know it was definitely after everything with her mom happened, but maybe a week or so after her dad passed-”

“Bill! I haven’t told them about _that_!” She warned, tugging at him roughly enough that he halfway fell into her side.

Maybe that wasn’t the best way of getting him to shut up, seeing how Pete turned to her with suspicion in his eyes that suggested she was only making matters worse. “What other bullshit are you hiding now?” Julia flinched at the venom in Pete’s voice, shrinking in her seat, halfway hidden behind William’s tall but skinny figure.

“I really don’t think-”

“Stop lying about shit! Here I was about to tell Patrick to fucking talk to you again, and here you are still keeping fucking secrets-!”

“My private, personal family problems are none of your business!” Getting a little more confident as she spoke, she sat up straight and pointed a finger at the bassist. “It’s none of yours, and it’s none of Patrick’s! I said it before and I’ll say it again, it doesn’t matter if Patrick believes me, or if he doesn’t care about Nathaniel, because he’s my son, no one will change that fact!”

A second of silence passed, nothing but glares exchanged between Julia and Pete, before William caught on and turned to face Julia, his arm dropped from around her shoulder.

“Wait a minute, what did you just say?” The look of anger slowly melted into a confused one, unsure of what her cousin was asking about. “Are you telling me that Patrick doesn’t trust you? Has he even seen Nathaniel? Because that kid is a dead ringer for the guy!”

Sad eyes flickered between Pete and William for a minute before she decided that the man sitting beside her on the couch was more important. “It’s fine, Bill, seriously… I knew there was a chance of this happening, remember? It’s okay, I’m fine being a single mother, even if Patrick believed me, it wouldn’t change anything…” Her placating didn’t work, because William had sprung to his feet in an instant, eyes narrowed and searching the lobby as if Patrick would appear out of nowhere.

“Wentz, I need to speak to Stump immediately,” Pete didn’t look very intimidated, but he slowly nodded. It was rare to see William so stirred up. “You, why are you acting so casual about all of this?”

Julia looked startled that he seemed to be accusing her, half shrugging and she tugged on his wrist, trying to get him to sit back down. It would be no good if there was a scene in the lobby, especially without Michael there to give her a hand to calm things down. He was still away on his trip until Nathaniel’s birthday. “Billvy, please, let’s not do this-”

“Oh come on! How would you treat me if I rejected Christine now that she’s pregnant?” William didn’t seem to notice that he let a secret slip because he just kept on rambling, but Julia gasped and stared at the other with wide eyes. “Either bring Stump out here right now, or I’ll go find him!”

“Please, Bill,” Julia started, eyes wide as Pete backed away, clearly headed back for his hotel room. William started after him, not waiting for his cousin to finish what she was planning to say. “Don’t make things worse!” All but begging, Julia’s heart was hammering in her chest, terrified of what might happen. There was enough of a rift in her family, she didn’t need this on top of everything else, even if William was just doing what he thought was for the best.

Hurrying down the corridor and hanging off Bill’s arm like there was still a chance to stop it all, Julia felt a pang in her chest when Pete stopped in front of a door and knocked.

“Dude, where’s the food?” Joe’s voice appeared before his face did, looking confused as he opened the door. “Hey, Billiam, what’s up man!”

“Where’s Stump?” Tension was rolling off him in waves, even making Joe shift uncomfortably. He didn’t even seem to spot Julia as he turned to call the singer forward.

“Yo ‘Trick, Bill Beckett is here and he wants to talk to you.” A confused sound came from behind Joe, and after a second where there was a complaint and heavy footsteps, Patrick appeared in the doorway, as confused as Joe.

“What are you doing here, William?”

“You need to explain yourself.” William was using his height to his advantage, stepping close enough that Patrick had to tilt his head back to look at the singer. He didn’t notice Julia until she tugged at her cousin’s arm again, mumbling ‘please, please stop’ under her breath.

“The hell?” On instinct, Patrick took a half step back, brow furrowing at his friend. Even after he spotted Julia, he stood his ground. “What is there to explain?”

William shoved past Patrick to get into the room, not caring as the singer slammed into the door frame. Pete and Patrick both followed after him while Julia stayed away, lingering in the open doorway like she was ready to escape at any moment.

“Who do you think you are? You really think she would lie about something like this?” William rounded on Patrick, poking a pointy finger into the older man’s chest. “You can’t turn your back on Julia, she’s dealt with that enough already as it is. Grow up and take responsibility for the life you helped create, Stump.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be other instances of domestic abuse mentioned and possibly shown (I haven't decided yet), do you guys want me to add a tag or is it enough just to write the tw at the beginning of each chapter?


	23. Blame It On...

Julia was sitting on the floor, back pressed against the door, head in her hands. Resigned to hiding in her office away from the skirmish that started in the hotel room, she escaped as quickly as she could the moment she realized William was giving out details she didn’t want shared. Everything was falling apart, the thread untangling the entire fabric of her reality, and it wasn’t even her pulling at that thread. Patrick had found out everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly- whether she wanted him to or not.

_“Who the hell do you think you are, abandoning her?” He had said, backing Patrick against the wall and trapping him. “Are you really that fucking selfish?”_

_“Hey now-” Patrick shook his head and began to argue back, brushing off William’s words until he was unceremoniously cut off._

_“Oh shut up! You want to know what she’s gone through without your help? While you were out gallivanting and forgetting about her very existence, she was pregnant and alone! Her mother disowned her for being pregnant and unmarried! Diane even called her own grandson- your son!- a bastard child!” Her head was swimming, hearing the words as if they were coming straight from her mother’s mouth all over again._

_Julia all but ran to William, grabbing at his arm and pulling with all her strength. He barely flinched. “Please Bill-” Patrick was clearly steadfast in looking at William, but when she spoke, so much desperation in her voice, his eyes flickered to her almost wearily. Like he didn’t want to see her, like he wanted to forget she was there at all._

_“And after all that bullshit with her mom, her dad died! He died before he even met Nathaniel! The only person in her immediate family that was excited about the baby, and he died!” Julia let go of her cousin like his skin was fire, taking a step back each time he jabbed a finger into Patrick’s chest, punctuating each sentence. Patrick’s eyes quivered like he was struggling to not look at her again. God, she felt like she was going to be sick to her stomach. “She would be completely alone if it wasn’t for her step mom and her roommate!”_

_Something in Patrick stirred at that, his frown deepening as he crossed his arms over his chest, either trying to protect himself from William’s pokes and pushes, or protecting himself from something else all together. The most pathetic sounding whimper left Julia’s mouth, her hands trembling as she weakly tugged at her cousin’s jacket. “Bill…”_

_“You know Julia shares a bedroom with Nathaniel? You know he still sleeps in his crib because she can’t afford to get him a new bed? You know she’s about to get kicked out-”_

_The more her cousin talked, the more her ears seemed to be clogged with cotton. His words were getting fuzzy, faded, like she was listening to the static coming through an old radio. William was saying too much, he was divulging information that he shouldn’t even know. How did he know? Why? It wasn’t his business whether or not she’d be getting kicked out-_

_It was all too much, her senses were being overwhelmed and the bumblebee buzzing in her ears started ringing and reverberating. No, Patrick couldn’t know these things, none of them should…_

_And with that, Julia was gone, nearly sprinting from the room to lock herself away._

Julia didn’t want, or need, anyone’s pity. Despite that fact, she had locked herself away in her office and resolutely sat on the floor. Eventually, she had gotten up after over half an hour to retrieve her laptop. For no particular reason, she planted herself on the carpet in front of the office door again, back against the wood as she silently worked away on her laptop. Every few minutes, her fingers would stutter on the keys and she’d have to delete half the email she was writing, realizing her words weren’t making any sense.

Any semblance of understanding that she came across was immediately twisted and turned around until nothing made sense all over again.

On one hand, she wasn’t mad at all that William was trying to stick up for her. Although they weren’t nearly as close as they had once been, it felt like he was a brother to her again. On the other hand… How dare he? He had the guts to ask who Patrick thought he was, but really, who did William think he was to divulge her personal, private information like that?

Her stomach churned, nauseous, and she forced herself off the floor in one swift move. Leaving her laptop on her desk and making her way past the front desk, avoiding eye contact with Cameron as she went, she snuck her way into the kitchen. A couple of the employees greeted her along the way and she flashed them a tight lipped smile, unable to open her mouth and say hello, afraid of what she might really say.

Silently making herself some plain toast and a weak cup of coffee, Julia took the mug and plate to the backyard of the Inn, sitting on the table furthest from anyone else. There was a quiet chatter amongst the guests, a bird chirping somewhere in the distance, but still all she could hear was the ringing in her ears.

“Jay…” A quiet voice interrupted her twenty minutes later, the toast half eaten and the coffee mug drained dry.

Her eyes didn’t have to flicker away from where they stared out at the golf course to know it was William. He only called her that when he was in trouble.

“Go away, William.”

The singer sat down anyway, careful to stay out of arm's reach just in case she felt like lashing out at him. “Let me just explain, Jay, c’mon-”

“Stop,” Julia’s eyes snapped to him, voice harsh as she tried to keep quiet. “You need to leave, William. Leave before I say something I regret, because I’ve been sitting here thinking, trying to forgive you for what happened in there, but I can’t. I just fucking can’t.” He didn’t flinch at her swear, but he frowned, realizing that his mistake was bigger than he originally considered.

“Okay, okay, I’m going…” He held up his hands in defense. “Just… I’m sorry, okay? Call me tomorrow or something, okay? Please?” William stayed for another few moments until Julia’s eyes strayed back out to the golf course, the smallest nod of her head in acknowledgement.

It took all her self preservation to not shout at him as he turned and left, pouring out all the anger and betrayal she felt. No, she couldn’t, not where she worked, not where anyone and everyone could hear.

Something about his apology triggered a fire in her, though, and she immediately stood up and got to work. She had been neglecting her job because of Patrick, because of Nathaniel’s impending birthday, and now because of William’s meddling. If there was anything she had confidence in, it was her job to run the Inn smoothly, unlike anyone else.

Without hesitation, Julia strolled the halls of her business, chin lifted high as she conversed with guests and instructed employees. Even when she spotted Andy Hurley out of the corner of her eye, she didn’t let herself flinch or squirm, instead simply turning on her heels and focusing on another person instead.

He didn’t say anything to her.

The last few hours on her shift passed surprisingly quickly, and she thought she was completely in the clear as she grabbed her satchel, slinging it over her shoulder after making sure the necessary files were shoved in beside her laptop.

Julia was so distracted by typing a message to her roommate that she didn’t notice the figure leaning against her car until it was too late.

Patrick was staring at the ground, zoned out with his arms crossed protectively over his chest. How long had he been standing there, waiting for her?

“Excuse me.” Clearing her throat awkwardly, she clasped the car key securely in her fist, avoiding looking directly at him. She could see him in her peripheral vision, his head lifting up to stare at her. He didn’t move, still blocking the driver’s side door.

“Can we talk?” He asked in a quiet voice, tentative but sure.

There was a small frown cross her features, her eyes still looking at her car instead of the singer. “There’s nothing for us to talk about, Mr. Stump. I believe Mr. Beckett told you more than enough.”

Maybe it was a low blow to refer to them both like that, but she needed to separate herself from them. Surely she’d be the one to get hurt, again. When him and his band left again, his life wouldn’t change. He’d keep making music and touring the world with his friends, while she was busy looking for a new apartment that she could afford on a one person salary while trying to provide everything possible for their son.

“I would have rather heard those things from you,” He started, pushing himself off the car to stand in front of her properly, tilting his head in an attempt to catch her gaze. “We seriously need to have a conversation, a real one. I want to figure this out.”

Julia let out a huff of a sigh, shoulders slumping as she ran a hand through her hair. “Fine. But I’m starving, so if you want to talk, we’re going out to eat. Get in the car.”

Without waiting for him to respond, she not so roughly shouldered him out of her way and unlocked the SUV, letting the door bump against him as she opened it. Patrick seemed surprised by suddenly being invited to eat and it took him a full thirty seconds to understand. Once the car roared to life, like she was about to leave whether or not he was in the car, he rushed around and clambered into the passenger seat.

The two sat in silence as she drove, her eyes focused on the road and full heartedly ignoring the man next to her. Patrick was trying to pass off as relaxed, but it wasn’t working very well. He eyed the car seat in the back, the baby blanket and little toys. Mostly, though, his eyes were trapped, staring at the small picture that hung from Julia’s rear view mirror.

It was a recent addition, given to her by Rachel just weeks earlier. It was Julia and Nathaniel, both of them grinning wide, like they were the happiest mother and son in the entire world. Patrick found it hard to deny his parentage when faced with a little boy that looked so like his own baby photos.

Before he could open his mouth and make some stupid comment he was likely to regret, the SUV suddenly turned into a parking lot and immediately turned again into the first spot that Julia saw.

Not a word was spoken between the two, not as she asked for a table for two, not as they accepted their menus, nothing until after two glasses of water were set down between them.

“Okay, so? What is it you think you need to figure out?” Her voice was quiet, strong but like she was trying to hide how tired she really was.

“I just… You weren’t lying, were you?” Patrick paused but Julia didn’t show a smidge of a reaction, staring at him and waiting for him to continue. “You’ve told me over and over again that this was complicated, even the last time we stayed out here, you kept saying things were complicated now. Is this what you meant? Not just that you had a kid, but that, but I... “ He cleared his throat, eyes drifting down as he hesitated.

“Yeah, sure, you being Nathaniel’s father made things a little more complicated since you were asking for a friendship with me, but it wasn’t just that. Think of everything that William told you, Patrick. This has been so freaking difficult on me, and I haven’t once asked you for help. Why do you think that is?” Julia challenged, the only thing showing her nervousness was the way her fingers fiddled with the menu.

He took a moment to think, but shrugged, adjusting his trucker hat before he spoke. “I don’t know, I keep asking myself why you didn’t say anything to me…”

“I’m not stupid, I know you. I knew what you would have done, you would have dropped the band and done some stupidly chivalrous thing like marrying me before the baby was born or something,” Patrick looked up at her and frowned, but he didn’t deny it. “After… After everything that happened with my mom… After those things she said about me, and about Nathaniel… I decided it was best for you to not know anything… I’m not going to apologize, Patrick, I’m not sorry, because I did what was best for you, and I did what I needed to do to raise Nathaniel.”

Julia’s breathing became ragged as she spoke, harboring emotions she hadn’t let show since before her son was born.

“I get it, and you’re right…“ He laughed briefly, unamused. “I probably would have done something like that. But now… It just seems… weird to learn this after so long…”

“Oh,” She could sense what was going through his head, and this time it was her turn to avert her eyes. “Look, I really never intended for you to find out anything at all, and I absolutely never planned for William to tell you all those things… I can imagine things sound a little suspicious from your angle, but Patrick, you know that’s not me, that’s not the kind of person I am.”

“I can’t be too cautious, after the shit Pete’s been accused of.”

“I’m trying really hard not to be offended by that, honestly, but I guess I understand,” Julia slowly conceded, crossing her arms over her body, insecure almost. “So then… What do you want? How can you figure things out?”

He hesitated for a second, shifting uncomfortably in his seat for a moment. Patrick watched a waiter for a moment before he finally spoke up, looking at her with a more serious expression than she had ever seen on him. “I think… I hate to ask, but… I want a paternity test.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, things have been a little crazier than usual. For anyone that doesn’t know, I’m from California, where we just had a week long heatwave (100+ daily), a very intense dry thunderstorm (which we very rarely get), and currently we’ve got a few dozen major wildfires causing dangerous air conditions. (Let’s not forget the firenado we had...) It’s awful, even the first state park (Big Basin SP) has burned to the ground. It hasn’t been that long since I went camping there! Between the heat and the smoke, my migraines have been off the rails bad, and I’m finding it difficult to think, let alone write. I’ll do my best to keep up with updates now that things are getting a little calmer (weather wise, at least).


	24. Chainsaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: referenced domestic abuse

If Julia was being honest with herself, his request didn’t surprise her at all. It didn’t offend her nearly as much as she expected, either, but maybe that was because everyone around the man was making it seem like she was trying to rip him off or something equally ridiculous, and a paternity test would prove she was telling the truth. But there were still so many questions running through her mind, so many possibilities and what ifs. She decided to broach the questions head on, seeing as how they were finally being completely honest with each other.

“Okay… And once it proves you are Nathaniel’s father, what are you going to do?” He blinked at her like he didn’t understand the question, and she just frowned in return.

“I mean, I guess I’d have to figure something out, y’know,” Patrick said with a slight shrug, looking uncomfortable. “I’d obviously have to reconsider some things, the band-”

“That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you to begin with, Patrick,” Heaving a sigh and rubbing two fingers against her temple, her eyes watched the space between them rather than the man across from her. “Look, if we really get the test done, I’m not asking for anything. I won’t ask you for money or help, I’m doing just fine raising him by myself-”

It was his turn to cut her off, voice a little more forceful, catching her by surprise. “Except you’re getting kicked out of your apartment and you can’t afford to buy him things. That’s what your cousin told me. Don’t lie about shit again, not now that we’re finally figuring it all out.”

“We’re probably moving to New York. Anthony said he’ll get me a job out there, and if I do as he says...” Julia didn’t intend to tell him that, she hadn’t told anyone just yet, but in the heat of the moment, everything was unraveling.

“What?” The strange tone of Patrick’s voice shut her up immediately. She really, really didn’t plan on telling him about Anthony, but from the look in his eyes, he remembered the man very clearly. “Anthony, that dude who was sexually harassing you from before?”

Ducking her head to avoid him, Julia stayed silent in hopes of hiding what was really going on. She made a noncommittal noise, but that was more than enough. Her posture, the sudden defensive air around her, he remembered everything that happened on his last stay at the Dragonfly. How could he forget?

“Wait a minute, wait,” Patrick pushed his chair away from the small dining table, as if giving himself room to breathe and think.”I’ve heard this before, haven’t I? You told me some shit about your mom hating you and your dad dying, that was when you told me this Anthony dude was hitting you!”

If the look on her face didn’t tell him everything he needed to know, the way she kept silent told him the rest.

Abruptly, Patrick stood up and left the table, heading down a hallway where she knew the bathrooms were. She didn’t chase after him. If he needed a few minutes to comprehend everything, it was only a fraction of how long she would need.

Their conversation had been happening too fast for her brain to catch up to her mouth. In the few months she had been ‘dating’ Anthony again, she hadn’t told a soul. No one at the Inn questioned her when she needed to take a couple days to travel if she said it was work related, and no one thought anything of it if he started showing up at the Dragonfly a little more often than before when he always claimed that bosses should be more hands on. Rachel and her step-mother didn’t question things either, especially when she never mentioned his name beyond absolutely necessary.

And now her big hidden secret was going to dissolve just because she couldn’t think before speaking when it came to Patrick.

Fuck.

While she was waiting for the singer to return, the waiter approached and asked if they were ready to order anything. Julia glanced at the empty seat across from her, hesitating.

“Can we have a few more minutes please?” Her voice was quiet, almost afraid that if she spoke too loudly, she wouldn’t be able to contain the waves of emotions flowing through her. The waiter nodded and flashed a brief smile before moving on to another table. It took at least another five minutes before Patrick returned, making Julia nervous that he had maybe slipped out a side door or something, deciding that she wasn’t worth it. That Nathaniel wasn’t worth it.

But when he returned, he silently slid into his seat and tentatively scooted closer to the table, though not nearly enough to be comfortable if he planned to eat. They both stayed silent, a short lived staring contest ensuing until Julia averted her eyes in shame.

“Explain yourself.” Was all he said, arms crossed over his chest, still staring at her.

“Where do I start?” It was a rhetorical question, but she paused after anyway, trying to figure out where to even start. There was nowhere but the beginning, really. “I think I’ve told you some of this before… But I met him when I was nineteen. I was in one of the part time roles at the Inn, he was a manager. We were dating, in a way, but I didn’t know for a few months that he was married, with a kid and all that. I found out on accident, and when I confronted him about it, it started off with… with denial, but that didn’t last long. He was telling me that he and I weren’t exclusive, that he never told me he was single, all this bullshit-”

“You told me he threatened you.” Patrick’s voice was flat, but it wasn’t completely uncaring, more so weary and tired.

Julia stroked a hand over her eyes for a moment, battling the urge to shiver at memories. “During the time we were together, even before I found out he was married he was... “ She cleared her throat, trying to speak as nonchalant as possible. “He was a physical guy, he tended to show his emotions through actions… And well, threats.”

“And yet, here you are, years later, with a fucking child! Dating him again like it’s no big fucking deal!” It wasn’t often that she heard the man get angry, but he definitely was.

“I’m not done explaining myself,” Said Julia, attempting to be firm with her words, but the shake in her voice showed how uncomfortable she really was. “About six months ago, Anthony apologized to me, for everything. I thought it was good to forgive him, he’s my boss! But then things started getting complicated…” She could tell by the look on his face that he was starting to hate that word.

Every time she said something was complicated, it sounded like she was lying.

Before Julia could continue her story, the waiter chose that moment to sidle up to the table again, requesting their orders. With a small huff of frustration, Julia ordered herself a coffee and french toast. Patrick ordered eggs and toast, and since he wasn’t looking at her at that moment, she let herself watch him. Taking in his features, seeing the changes in him since she had first met him years before. His hair was shorter than that New Years Eve in 2005, his sideburns the same.

“Complicated how?” Patrick suddenly speaking broke her from her reverie and she shifted in her seat, silently sipping her water as she thought over how to explain the most crucial part.

“About four months ago, my roommate, Rachel, told me she wanted to move out. She has a better paying job, she’s in a relationship with a chick she really likes… And it’s not easy to live with a toddler that isn’t yours,” It had hurt when Rachel admitted these facts, unsure how to deal with the fact that her best friend didn’t adore Nathaniel as much as she did. It took her days to understand. “At the same time, Anthony was… Well, for lack of a better word, he was begging for me to give him a second chance.”

Scoffing, Patrick leaned his elbows on the table, tilting forward to narrow his eyes at her. “Are you really that easily swayed?”

Julia glared at him, growing defensive. “I’m not stupid, if that’s what you’re implying,” He wasn’t, but she was. “I had confided in him about Rachel moving out and how it would be a struggle to keep the apartment for me and Nathaniel, even though he’d finally be able to have his own room, and Anthony… He offered to help, financially. I couldn’t turn that down, Patrick. I’d do anything for Nathaniel.”

“Has he followed through on that?” He challenged, still looking more hostile than she appreciated, but she hesitated in answering. Her hesitance was all he needed to know the truth. “Let me guess, he offers his help, but only if you do something for him, and if you don’t do it right he not only doesn’t give you the help he said he would, but he punishes you or some shit?”

Again, her silence told him everything.

“Patrick, I have to do this, I have to do whatever I can for Nathaniel,” At this point, Julia was almost pleading with the singer, desperately trying to get him to understand. “When Rachel moves out, Anthony will help us, he promised. If I have to suffer a little bit first… Well, then so be it! I will gladly suffer for the rest of my life in order to provide for my son!”

Their food arrived during the lull in their conversation, their eyes never leaving the other’s.

Julia broke the eye contact first, again, silently bringing her coffee closer so she could add a little creamer to it, watching the swirl of off-white spreading into the dark brown. Anything to distract her from the pitiful, shaming look on Patrick’s face. The disgust in his eyes.

“How badly does he hurt you?” His voice was low, not wanting to be overheard. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Julia’s absentminded fiddling with her shirt collar gave her away. “Are you..? Do you have bruises on you right now?”

“Let it go, please-”

“I will not fucking let it go!” She winced as he raised his voice, her eyes flickering around to make sure no one was paying them any mind. It was still early enough that the dinner rush hadn’t shown up.

“Why does it matter to you?” This time, it was his hands showing his tell; he was nervous.

Patrick half shrugged, picking up a fork to poke around at his food. He decided to start eating instead of immediately replying. Julia only sipped at her coffee, unable to eat just yet.

“Eat before your food gets cold.” Patrick suggested quietly, shoulders hunched. It took a minute, but she slowly began to eat her french toast, still eyeing him nervously. They both were hating this conversation, but they both knew it wasn’t over yet.

“Why does it matter?” Julia tried again, softer this time.

Patrick set down his fork and readjusted his trucker hat, a tick he did when he was buying for more time. “Does it matter why it matters?” Confused, she frowned. With a sigh, he continued on. “I’m not going to pretend like we’re something more than we are, but I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought of you more than once over the past two and a half years. You don’t deserve to suffer at the hands of a dick like Anthony.”

Their words slipped into a silence again, though this time there was less tension. Julia began to eat her breakfast-for-dinner properly, while Patrick shifted a little closer to the table to get more comfortable.

It was like being on a seesaw, going back and forth, up and down, taking turns. One minute Julia would be angry with him and Patrick would be defensive or apologetic, then the next minute Patrick was scolding her like he was older than her, and Julia was holding her arms over her body like she was trying to protect herself. As if his words hurt just as bad as Anthony’s fists.

“Even if… Whether or not Nathaniel is mine,” Patrick finally spoke after nearly fifteen minutes of complete silence hanging over their little table. “I’ll help you. I won’t ask for anything, I couldn’t. I just, fuck, you need to stop fucking with Anthony, okay? Cut him off before things get worse.”

Things had already gotten worse, but she couldn’t tell him that. “I can’t ask you to do that Patrick… Raising a toddler isn’t cheap. I already told you I’m not going to ask you for money.”

“It’s not an offer,” He started, words firm when he lifted his head to look at her. Patrick stopped himself, shaking his head a little as he forced himself to relax. “I want to help. What kind of person would I be if I let you stay with an abuser?”

“The same kind of person that thinks I’d lie about having his child.” Julia countered him immediately, regretting the words as soon as they came out. She didn’t want to attack him, she had already decided that he was right to question her and ask for the paternity test. Acceptance didn’t mean it didn’t hurt, though.

“Jules…” Patrick’s face fell a little, a frown curling his lips.

“I can’t leave Anthony,” She interrupted. “If I leave him…”

His eye seemed to twitch, hearing the implication in her words. “Finish your sentence.”

“If I leave him, losing my job will be the least of my worries. He’s already warned me against it.” Julia admitted, food and coffee completely abandoned at this point.

“That little prick,” He cursed, setting down his toast a little harder than necessary, the slice bouncing out of his hand to land on the table. Julia decided to focus on that instead of the singer’s growing anger. “There is no way in hell I’m going to let this go, Julia! He can’t just fucking threaten you and get away with it!”

“There’s nothing I can do about it.”

Patrick wouldn’t let her admit defeat. “Then I’ll do something about it myself. He’ll regret ever laying a fucking finger on you.”

“What are you saying, Patrick..?” Asked Julia, nerves racing through her veins. She had never seen such a motivated look in his eyes before. He stared her down, tone sure of himself like he was speaking words straight from God’s mouth.

“I’m going to make sure that bastard rots in prison.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, I felt like I was really struggling with getting this chapter to be how I wanted, I hope you guys enjoy it despite my struggles!


	25. Caffeine Cold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: referenced domestic abuse

If you had asked Julia an hour earlier, she would never, under any circumstances, have said yes. But here she was, sitting silent in her car as she drove to her apartment, Patrick Stump sitting right beside her.

Somehow, over the course of the last forty-five minutes of their meal, Patrick had convinced her that she could gather evidence against Anthony and properly press charges against him. She still didn’t quite think it was possible, if she was being honest, but Patrick was convincing when he wanted to be. So much so that he not only convinced Julia to take pictures of the bruises she was currently hiding, but he also talked her into telling her roommate the truth about the situation she had gotten herself into.

And for some reason, all of this included Patrick joining her.

The drive to the apartment was completely silent, even the radio turned all the way off. Julia didn’t want to talk to him, she almost felt like she was holding something against him for the way he was trying to help her all of the sudden. Sure, he threw a fit the last time the band stayed at the Dragonfly, but she had told him off and that was that. But suddenly, since she was in an actual relationship with Anthony, it mattered? It didn’t sit right with her.

Especially not when he was still denying his parentage to Nathaniel.

Before she could properly gather her thoughts and find anything to say in an attempt to talk him out of his sudden desire for justice, her SUV rolled to a stop into her normal parking spot just outside her apartment building. Julia stayed frozen, hands on the steering wheel even as Patrick moved to leave the car. He seemed to notice her hesitation, though, and dropped his hand from the handle.

“Julia, you know this is for the best,” He started, reaching out to lightly touch her forearm. She flinched immediately, dropping her arm and turning off the car; anything to keep his hands off her. “Your roommate will only be able to help you if she knows what’s really going on.”

She could only hum in acknowledgement of his words, uncomfortable in agreeing with him. There was too much at stake, and she decided to try and reiterate that point to him, despite having already done it during dinner. “What if Rachel hates me? I’ve been lying to her about this whole Anthony thing, I’ve had her babysit Nathaniel while I go to New York to see him, she’ll never talk to me again-!”

“She’s your best friend, Julia-”

“And Amelia, oh God, I don’t want to see the look on Amelia’s face when I tell her that he’s been hurting me, she’s the only family I have left-”

“They’ll understand-”

Julia continued to barrel through, ignoring the way he tried to comfort her with his words, thankfully not trying to touch her again. She started hyperventilating a little bit with her next thoughts. “Oh God, what if they take away Nathaniel? What if they think I’m an unfit mother? I can’t lose him, Patrick, I can’t!”

When her voice cracked, strangled from her panic, Patrick leaned over the center console and pulled her into a secure hug, comfort be damned. It was awkward, Julia was still wearing her seat belt and he was hugging her sideways from his strange position, but it did the trick. He managed to wrap his arms around her, one hand rubbing her arm while the other snaked around her torso.

“Breathe,” Patrick told her quietly, wanting her to calm down before he told her anything else. “Hey, come on, just breathe, okay?”

Slowly but surely, she followed his directions, coming down from the mild start of a panic attack. After a few minutes, she relaxed into his hold. Patrick flashed her a brief, comforting smile before he shifted to sit back in his own seat, though he reached over to unbuckle her seat belt for her. Julia quickly realized where they were and she turned off the car, the silence without the engine almost suffocating.

“I can’t do this, Patrick.” She spoke quietly, voice radiating with nerves and fear.

“You can, Julia. What you can’t do is sit around letting this douche bag beat you into submission and lure you into a false sense of security with the promise of money he’ll never give you. Do you really think Nathaniel should be raised with a shit man like Anthony in his life?” She knew he was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to admit her faults.

Patrick let her sit and think for another few minutes before he gently nudged her, egging her to leave the car and go upstairs. Once she slipped out of the SUV, Patrick copied her, following her into the apartment building. He tried his best not to seem too curious about her living conditions, thinking he was already too invested in the confusing situation. But he wasn’t lying before, when he said he’d help her and the kid out financially, even if Nathaniel wasn’t his.

She led the way with an ease of someone who walked those hallways daily, almost more comfortable in the apartment building than at the Dragonfly.

“I’m home,” Julia called into the apartment as she opened the door, briefly glancing over her shoulder at her guest. “Where’s bubby?”

“He’s napping,” Rachel called from her room, footfalls making their way towards the living room. “So how did your dinner with Patr-” Freezing as Julia and Patrick came into view, Rachel couldn’t hide her surprise at the sight. She cleared her throat and briefly lifted a hand in greeting. “Oh, um, hi Patrick.”

“Hey, Rachel.”

“Just stay here for a minute…” Julia muttered, quickly hurrying down the hallway to her bedroom, leaving Patrick and Rachel to awkwardly stare at each other. After a long few seconds, Julia could hear her roommate offer the singer a drink. Peeking into her room, she smiled at the sight of her little boy curled up in her bed, thumb in his mouth as he napped. Sneaking closer, she pressed a quick little kiss to her toddler’s forehead before sneaking back out of the room.

When she returned to the living room, Patrick was sitting on the couch with a soda in his hands, Rachel hovering by the love seat like she wasn’t sure if she should sit down and join them or not.

“Rae, there’s something I need to tell you…” Julia must have had some sort of worrying expression on her face, because Rachel looked almost terrified at those words.

“God, you’re not sick, right?” Her eyes flickered between Patrick, sitting stock still, and Julia slowly lowering herself to sit on the couch beside him. “Don’t you tell me you’re pregnant again.”

While Patrick was busy choking on his soda, coughing and staring wide eyed, Julia grimaced like she wanted to make a foul gesture towards her best friend. “No, Jesus, don’t even joke about that!” She scolded softly before settling down and sighing quietly. Julia looked at Patrick like he might be any help to her. All he did was nod at her, silently urging her to speak up. “This is… I don’t know how to say this, but… I’ve made a big, big mistake, and I can’t fix this on my own. Patrick said he would help me get through this, and I really need you, too. I need your help. _Please._ ”

Julia sounded so desperate and almost afraid of Rachel’s answer that Rachel couldn’t help but hurry forward and plant herself on the couch beside Julia. “What’s going on? What mistake?” She looked at Patrick, but he was avidly looking into the can of soda instead.

“I… Well, I’m… Sort of, kinda, dating Anthony again?”

If the silences she had experienced already throughout the day had made her feel uncomfortable or nervous, it was nothing compared to the atmosphere that settled over that living room.

“Excuse me?” Rachel’s entire demeanor changed, body tense like she regretted sitting beside Julia.

“I was scared about money when you told me you were going to move out and you already know I’ve been talking with him more since he’s my boss now and he said he wanted me back, he promised to do things right this time, he said he was going to help with Nathaniel! He said he’d make sure I can keep this apartment even after you move out!”

No matter how much it sounded like Julia was begging for her friend’s forgiveness, Patrick didn’t have to look too hard to see it wouldn’t come easily.

“And you fucking believed him?!” Rachel exploded, shoving herself off the couch like it had caught fire.

“I need the help, you know I can’t afford this place-”

Suddenly, Rachel’s hand came into contact with Julia’s cheek, stinging and leaving a soft pink mark in its wake. “How- how dare you! I never in my life would have thought you’d be this fucking stupid! This isn’t just a mistake, Julia!”

“Please, Rae, try to understand! I had to, for Nathaniel-” Tears pricked in Julia’s eyes, but Patrick couldn’t tell if it was from the slap, or the words.

“Shut up! Just, shut the hell up!” Her mouth snapped shut as Rachel turned on her heels and stormed off towards her bedroom. Patrick and Julia sat in a stunned silence, clearly neither of them having expected such a volatile reaction from her.

“What am I supposed to do now? I knew this would happen!” Julia whispered, voice breaking as she finally let go, tears spilling from her eyes.

Before Patrick could say anything, Rachel returned to the living room with a duffel bag over her shoulder. “I’m staying at Christy’s, call me once you get your head out of your ass.”

And with that, Rachel stomped out of the apartment, slamming the door behind her, seemingly not caring if she woke up the toddler just a room away.

Julia stared at the door, even as she heard a quiet shuffling and a small ‘mama?’ coming from the room right down the hall. Even as Patrick shifted closer in an attempt to comfort her, setting his soda down on the coffee table. He barely landed a hand on her shoulder when she finally spoke up.

“You should leave,” Standing up abruptly, she didn’t bother to turn to him, instead taking a step towards her bedroom, towards her son. “This was a mistake, this was wrong.”

“Wait, Julia, we still need to take pictures-” Finally, just barely in view still, Julia turned to stare at the singer. Silently, she shook her head, eyes flickering towards the front door.

“Please, just… Just go.”

Her voice sounded so exhausted and broken suddenly that he couldn’t deny her. As much as he wanted to help her get out of this shitty situation she had landed herself in, he knew it wasn’t his place to pressure her into things. He had already caused enough damage in his attempt to fix things.

“Right, I’m going, I’ll leave. But still, take pictures of the bruises. Trust me, just once.”

Without another word exchanged, Patrick slipped out of the apartment and Julia opened the door to her bedroom. Her little boy was sitting up in bed, a little pout on his lips as he rubbed his fists into his eyes.

“Mommy?”

“It’s all right, bubby, I’m here…” She didn’t bother doing anything besides kicking her shoes off before she crawled into bed with the tot, gently scooping him into her arms and cuddling him close. Thankfully, he was too tired to notice the silent tears still trickling down her cheeks. She would never be able to explain something like this to him.

When the morning came, she had hoped everything that had happened was just a bad dream, some twisted piece of her imagination trying to play tricks on her. But when she stepped into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and there wasn’t even a whisper of another person in the apartment, she knew. Rachel wasn’t there, and considering how mad she had been the night before, there was no way of telling when she’d return.

“Mooooommy!” Julia had never been so grateful for the distraction of her baby whining, his little feet pitter-pattering down the hallway as fast as his little legs would allow.

“Bubby!” Scooping up the toddler, she spun him around in the air a couple times, letting her soul absorb the beauty of his carefree giggles before she gently plopped him into the nearby high chair. “Do you want string cheese or cheerios?”

Getting started on his breakfast, she put every ounce into focusing on him and his incoherent babbles and wild imagination to keep herself from remembering the fight. It wouldn’t do her any good to break down in front of him. After cutting up a banana and giving him a bowl of dry cereal, Julia leaned against the kitchen counter and watched him. Amelia was on her way to take care of him, she had a decently light schedule for her half day at work, and the rest of her day would be spent setting up the party for the next day.

Julia couldn’t help but wonder if Rachel would bother showing up at all.

With one last sip of her coffee, she quietly left it on the counter and left the room. Her hands were shaking as she picked up the digital camera from her dresser on the way to the bathroom. This wasn’t normal, this shouldn’t have to happen, but there she was. Standing in front of her bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection, and wondering if Patrick was right, that she should fight back and stand up for herself. Or maybe Rachel was right. Julia had done something so far beyond stupid, so much bigger than a simple mistake. Maybe she deserved the bruises. If she had done what Anthony had wanted in the first place, he never would have given them to her.

Right?

Her hands slowly pulled off her work blouse, fingers trembling as she draped the shirt over the closest towel rack. God, if only she could avoid her own reflection while she did this, maybe she’d feel less ashamed. It was easier when she stared at the small screen of the digital camera, snapping quick photos of her reflection. The mottled green and purple bruises over her stomach, a distinct four-plus-one wrapping around her upper left arm. Shifting to show her back to the mirror, she was silently thankful she couldn’t see the massive bruise across her back, right over the back of her bra, where her back had collided with a table. It was a sickly yellow green that churned her stomach, even on that little digital screen.

This wasn’t normal, this shouldn’t have to happen for her to come to her senses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not gonna lie, I kinda dislike this chapter. hope y'all enjoy the drama though, even if this isn't my best work.


	26. Stay, Maybe?

“Have a good day, bubby, mommy loves you!” Julia pressed a sweet kiss to her toddler’s forehead, grinning as the boy planted a sloppy, wet kiss to her forehead in return. Turning to Amelia, who was making herself a cup of tea already, she adjusted her briefcase. “I should be home around one o’clock or so, you’re welcome to call if you need anything, okay?”

“Of course, hun. Where’s Rachel? I brought along a book she wanted to borrow.” The older woman smiled softly and motioned to her oversized purse laying abandoned on the couch.

Julia had to force her own smile, stiff and uncomfortable. “I’m not sure if she’ll be home tonight. We had a bit of an argument and she’s staying at her girlfriend’s house. But don’t worry about it, she’ll be around for Nathaniel’s party!” She reassured quickly, lying through her teeth.

Truth of the matter was that she had no idea if Rachel was going to make it to the baby’s second birthday. She wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t want to go, but she wasn’t prepared to let anyone else in on her mistakes. Especially with the fear that someone else was going to react that same way.

With that, Julia was off to work. A quick drive, decent weather for the end of September, and hitting green lights for almost the entire drive to the Inn. The music playing on her normal radio station was calming, a couple friendly guests waved to her as she pulled into the parking lot. It was a refreshing change of pace, in a way. As guilty as she felt about keeping secrets from Rachel and Amelia, as much as it hurt to have Rachel so angry at her, there was a heavy weight lifted from her shoulders. Telling the truth to Patrick and her best friend, knowing that there was a plan in motion to help her son and rescue her from a shitty relationship, her baby’s birthday getting closer, it all spelled out a rather pleasant day.

Part of her felt guilty for that, too.

To her luck, though, it was just busy enough that she didn’t have time to feel things like guilt. One of the kitchen’s chefs had cut their hand bad enough while cooking breakfast that they had to go to the hospital to get stitches, a waiter had called in sick an hour after they were meant to start their shift, and one of the maids was threatening to quit.

“Jackie, please,” Julia carefully set a hand on the woman’s shoulder as she ranted and raved, throwing cleaning supplies from her cart onto the floor of the employee break room. “Let’s go to my office, let’s talk about this and figure it out, okay?” It took a moment of convincing and coaxing to get the young woman to agree, following her to the office not so quietly muttering profanities under her breath.

Leading her in, Julia quickly motioned for Michael, who had just returned from his short trip away, to make sure that everything was fine in the break room and that no other employees were throwing tantrums as well.

“Take a seat, Jackie, take a deep breath and start from the beginning. What happened?”

She sat there listening as the woman explained the situation with one of the guests at the Inn, a middle aged man who for the past three days of his stay has insisted on making uncomfortable passes at her. This day, he took it to the next level: he not only answered the door in nothing but a towel, he tricked her into entering the room before he completely dropped the towel and attempted to grab her.

“I swear, I wasn’t asking for it or something! He said he wanted new bed linens and he didn’t want to wait until our normal rounds this afternoon, and he just- he fucking- Ah!” She screamed in frustration, eyes prickling with unshed tears.

Setting down the notepad in her hands and folding them on top of the desk before she leaned forward and looked at her employee, eyes full of sadness, she sighed softly. “I am genuinely so sorry, Jackie. The very second you and I are done here, I’m going to Mr. McIntire’s room and I’m going to remove him from the Dragonfly. He’ll be permanently banned from ever returning, okay? I want you to take the rest of today off. You’ll get paid for your entire shift, so don’t worry about that, but you need to go home or go to lunch or whatever you have to do to keep this place off your mind for a little while. Do you work tomorrow?” Jackie nodded briefly, sniffling. “Okay, I won't be in tomorrow, but Michael will be here. I’ll fill him in on everything and he’s going to make sure you’re absolutely comfortable here. If what we’re doing doesn’t feel like enough, I want you to be honest about it.”

Making sure the comments in her notes were correct, she let the young lady leave for the day before stopping by Michael, who was lingering at the front desk. “You’re going to want to take a look at the notepad in my office when you get a minute,” She warned softly, voice laced with exhaustion already. “But first, you need to come with me. We’re removing a guest.”

He must have immediately understood how serious the accusation must have been, because full on removing a guest was a huge deal. Especially considering the room they were headed to was on the more expensive side of the hotel, the ones usually reserved for celebrities or government figures.

“Mr. McIntire,” Julia called as she politely knocked on the door. “This is Julia Foreman, general manager of the Dragonfly. Can we speak?”

It took a few tries knocking before the man finally gave in and threw open the door. Julia said a little thank you prayer that the man was fully dressed in front of her.

“What do you want? I’m busy.” He motioned over his shoulder to a laptop sitting on the desk, a few open folders spread out around the laptop.

“I’ve just had a very interesting conversation with an employee of mine, sir. I’m sure you know what incident I’m referring to.” Julia raised an eyebrow, trying to challenge the man, all but daring him to deny it.

The man scoffed, perching his hands on his hips defiantly. “Oh come on, she wanted it! The little hussy had no problem with the things I said to her yesterday, she only decided to bitch once I decided to put those things into action.”

“I’d like to remind you of the terms of agreement, sir, which you signed when you checked in. We have a zero tolerance policy for harassment of any kind-” Before she could keep on with her focused, professional little speech, the man puffed up his chest and stepped closer to her, clearly trying to intimidate her.

Thankfully, Michael didn’t take that kind of shit lying down. The assistant manager was a full head taller than Julia, almost matching the guest’s height, and it was enough for him to step between the two and press a palm against Mr. McIntire’s chest. “Take a step back, sir.”

“Don’t touch me!” The man spat, whacking Michael’s arm away.

“Either you leave in the next ten minutes, or I’m calling the cops,” Julia threatened, one hand reaching out to touch Michael’s shoulder in the hope of keeping him calm. “Would you prefer to get a police escort out of here, or would you like to walk out by yourself? The choice is yours. We’ll give you ten minutes to pack.”

She took a step back, away from the door, and lightly tugged on Michael’s shoulder to get him to do the same. Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Let’s make sure to find another male employee and have him with us when we escort him out. He may not scare me, but I’m pretty sure he could crush me under his foot if he wanted to.”

Going back to her office to start filing an official complaint against the man to headquarters, making sure to include the guest’s personal information so he’d be banned fully, the ten minutes went by faster than expected. Michael knocked at her opened door, a male employee standing a few feet behind him.

“Thanks for helping, Reese.” She smiled gratefully, leading them back to the man’s room, ready to put up a fight of some sort. He must have taken the threat of police seriously, though, because as she knocked on the door, it swung open almost immediately to reveal Mr. McIntire throwing his duffel bag over his shoulder. Michael stayed beside the man while Reese took the rear, Julia taking up the lead as she led him to the front doors.

“Have a good day, sir.” Was the last thing he heard before the three employees firmly shut the doors behind him and turned on their heels, making sure he understood that they weren’t there to listen to his bullshit excuses.

Thank heavens, the next few hours of her day seemed relatively quiet, involving nothing more than a few necessary phone calls. Including a hesitant one to Anthony.

“Mr. Lee,” She chucked quietly under her breath, trying not to wince at the shaky sound of her own voice. “Thank you for calling, I wanted to discuss the situation we had this morning.” Julia didn’t know why, but he had been fully committed to professionalism during that phone call. Not one hint about her visiting him the next week like she had promised, no suggestions that they have phone sex, no insinuations about her dealing with a male guest.

It was surprisingly refreshing.

And before she knew it, it was nearing one in the afternoon, and Michael was knocking on her door one more time.

“You’re about to leave, right?” She nodded, grinning as she gathered up her belongings. “Cool, I’m gonna stop by after my shift tomorrow so I can give Nathaniel his present.”

Her eyes widened a little in surprise, standing up to face her friend and coworker properly. “You know you didn’t have to get him anything, Michael!”

“You know I would anyway!” Laughing softly, he rolled his eyes a little before moving forward to pull her in for a quick hug. He didn’t notice her wince when he accidentally pressed against her bruised back.

After another few minutes of casual chatting, the two walked to the Inn’s lobby, exchanging stories about Nathaniel over the years.

“You remember when he absolutely refused to take anything from you?” She grinned as she leaned against the front desk.

“He wouldn’t take any of his toys, or even any food from me! He thought I was evil or something!” Michael liked to play offended, but his smile betrayed him.

Before they could continue, the Fall Out Boy men came from the hallway to the right, obviously heading towards the dining room to get some lunch. Julia, without hesitation, called out to Patrick and motioned for him over. Stepping away from Michael to try and make their conversation a little more private, she flashed a small smile, a little nervous. Almost shy.

“I just wanted to say thank you, y’know… For last night. I know things didn’t exactly go as planned, but… Still, just the offers you’ve made, you wanting to help with this whole thing, I appreciate it more than you realize.”

Patrick adjusted his trucker cap as he shrugged, shoving his hands into his pocket before replying. “There’s no need to thank me. After all these years of knowing you, I suppose it’s high time I finally acted like your friend instead of a complete stranger.”

“Still though, thank you,” Exchanging brief smiles, Julia clasped her hands around her briefcase strap like she was clinging to it for help. “Um, I know you guys are busy writing music or whatever, and we haven’t really had the chance to figure out the whole paternity thing, but tomorrow is, well, tomorrow is Nathaniel’s birthday, and we’re having a little party for him at my apartment starting at noon, and I was just thinking, maybe you’d like to come? You don’t have to, but you can, if you want.” She was rambling, a light blush crawling up her cheeks once she realized. Julia waved a hand as if to brush off her own offer.

“Oh, um, I’ll think about it,” Patrick answered slowly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his band mates weren’t there listening in. Seeing the empty space, he realized they must have gone to the dining room without him. “I don’t really want to explain things to them right now, y’know? Not until things get figured out a little better.”

She nodded in understanding, a tight, closed lip smile crossing her features as she patted his arm briefly. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll see you around?” Before he had the chance to reply, she was off, making a beeline for the parking lot.

Now that she had embarrassed herself to no end, her day was officially over. Screw work, screw Anthony, hell, even Rachel. There was no room for headaches or drama or any of that when there were more important things in the works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to make this chapter Nathaniel's birthday party, but it got away from me a little, and adding the party at the end would have made it longer than I like, so it's on hold until the next chapter!
> 
> Also, fun fact, I accidentally wrote "forehead" instead of "foreman" when using Julia's name.


	27. Two Candles

Julia was busying herself by stocking up the fridge with juice boxes and pre-cut fruit when Amelia came up behind her, clearly on edge about something. Rachel still hadn’t returned home, she hadn’t even returned Julia’s text wondering if she would go to Nathaniel’s birthday party or not. Despite the fact that she knew exactly what her best friend was upset about, she couldn’t stop from feeling hurt on her son’s behalf.

“I called Rachel earlier.” Julia snapped up straight and spun around to face her step mother, eyes wide with worry.

“I don’t want to talk about this with Nathaniel awake-”

“He’s taking a nap,” Amelia corrected softly, leaning against the nearest counter and frowning deeply at the younger woman. “She didn’t tell me what you two fought about, she told me that it’s for you to tell. So?”

Julia shook her head a little and turned back around to continue where she had left off, wanting to avoid the confrontation that was sure to start. Hearing a sigh behind her, she was beyond thankful to realize that Amelia was instead working on putting together the little goodie bags for the other children during the party the next day.

The two worked in silence for nearly five minutes before the tension became too much and Julia couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Please, if I tell you this, you have to promise not to be too angry.”

“Oh honey, you know I couldn’t stay mad at you-”

“Promise me, Amelia. I screwed up. I did something really bad, and Rachel won’t talk to me because of it.” Walking forward and taking her step-mom’s hands in hers, she looked like she was about to fall to her knees and beg.

“I promise, Julia, now tell me. You’re starting to scare me.”

A deep breath in through the nose, slowly released from the mouth.

“I started dating Anthony Lee again,” The silence in the room was almost suffocating, only made worse by the way the older woman snatched her hands out of the other’s grasp. When Amelia didn’t say anything, Julia couldn’t help but start to ramble. “It’s complicated, I don’t love him or anything, I swear. I did all of this for Nathaniel, Anthony promised me that he’d help financially. You remember how Rachel was talking about moving out? I can’t live here without that second income and Anthony said he’d help me once she moved out, and he was convincing, you remember how he used to be, right? But I’m not staying with him, I’m going to leave him-”

“Have you been letting him hurt you again?” Asked Amelia, stepping away from her step daughter like she’d catch something.

Julia’s hands trembled a little and she hid them behind the counter. “I… I never let him do anything… I can’t control him, you know that… But I’m leaving him, a friend of mine is going to help me document the things Anthony’s doing so we can press charges…”

Amelia shook her head, clearly ashamed, and slowly left the kitchen.

“You promised you wouldn’t be mad! Amelia, please, I can’t lose you too-!”

“I just need some time to understand,” She said as she quietly gathered her belongings, hugging her purse to her chest. “As long as you’re Nathaniel’s mother and Eric’s daughter, I’ll love you, but right now I just… I can’t stand to look at you knowing that you’d put yourself in a situation you knew was dangerous.”

Before Julia could stop her, her step mom left the apartment, letting the door quietly click behind her so Nathaniel wouldn’t wake up. Without her best friend and without the only familial figure in her life, she was feeling so beyond alone. There was a tiny fraction of her that felt the itch to call Anthony, to ask him to drive down from New York, as if his companionship during Nathaniel’s birthday would somehow help her out, but there was a logical side that kept her from dialing his number.

Instead she dialed another familiar number, heart thrumming in her ears as it rang and rang.

“Julia? Why are you calling so late?”

She sighed softly in relief at the sound of his voice, slowly sinking into her couch and pulling her knees to her chest. “Bill, I’m so sorry… You’re the only person I have left, and I really need someone right now…”

There was a shuffling on the other end of the line before her cousin spoke up again. “Did something happen? You sound like you’re about to cry or something.”

“Can you come over? Please, just… I’ll tell you everything if you come.” She promised softly. William agreed and said he’d be there within half an hour before they hung up.

Despite the fact that she had decorations to put up and goodie bags to finish and presents to prepare, all she could do was sit on the couch and stare at the empty screen of the turned off television. It wasn’t very late, so she wasn’t too surprised to spot her toddler shuffling out of their shared bedroom with a stuffed giraffe in his arms.

“Mommy?”

“Come here, bubby,” She cooed softly, scooping the little boy off the floor and into her lap. Pressing a sweet kiss to his forehead, she slowly began to rock back and forth, humming a gentle tune under her breath to soothe him. Nathaniel was a pretty good sleeper and could usually spend all his time in bed, but he had been so excited for his birthday party over the past couple of days that he was struggling a little bit. “My sweet boy, my little love, you need to sleep if you want to have a fun time with all your friends tomorrow, you know that right?”

He muttered a small ‘I know’ and curled up against her chest. The two sat there for another couple minutes until there was a tentative knocking at the apartment door. Wrapping one arm under her son’s butt and the other around his back, she carried him to the door and carefully popped it open, smiling faintly at the sight of her cousin.

“Hey Jay,” He tilted his head and grinned, gently ruffling the sleepy toddler’s hair. “Hi there little man.”

“Let me put him down and then we’ll talk. Make yourself comfortable.” Julia turned and motioned for William to sit on the couch while she went back into her bedroom and carefully put the almost-asleep toddler into his crib. Pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, she couldn’t help but smile at the sight, adoring the way he automatically splayed himself out as much as he could, fist still clutching the stuffed animal.

William was flipping casually through a magazine he had found on the coffee table when his cousin slowly slipped onto the couch and curled into herself. Frowning a little, he tossed the magazine back onto the table and shifted to nudge his knee against her thigh.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on. You seem seriously upset.” Trying to coax her into relaxing a little, he grabbed the blanket that was hanging over the back of the couch and tossed it over her legs.

The faintest smile crossed her lips as she tugged the blanket up, curling it in her fists and tucking them under her chin. Taking her time, Julia slowly recounted the events of the past day and a half, explaining the dinner with Patrick, the truth about what had happened with Anthony from the first time they had dated and their more recent ‘reunion’. A feeling of deja vu threatened to make her dizzy but she continued on, spilling everything about the argument with her roommate and her step-mom, the fear behind collecting evidence against her abusive boyfriend. The whole time she talked, William sat there and listened, a concerned look being the only thing in his eyes.

“I’m trying really hard to focus on Nathaniel for tomorrow but I just… I can’t stop thinking. Just, about everything! I can’t turn it all off even for one day!” Julia whined softly, feeling a little childish the way she was complaining and curled up under a blanket. Her cousin only smiled fondly and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around her shoulder in comfort.

“I’ll help you with whatever you need for tomorrow. It doesn’t matter if Amelia doesn’t show up, or Rachel, or Patrick. The little man will be happy just to see you and me and all his daycare friends. He’s not going to think twice about any adults being upset with each other, I’ll make sure of that.” The reassurance calmed her racing mind and she leaned into his hold for a few calm, silent minutes before sitting up straight and pushing the blanket back down her body.

“If that’s the case, you need to help me finish setting up for the party.” Julia smiled and stood, grabbing his wrist and tugging. William followed her around the apartment, listening to her explain where she wanted the decorations to go, the streamers and balloons, the cardboard cutouts of Nathaniel’s favorite zoo animals.

“How did I get roped into this?” He joked, gathering up the tape and supplies so he could get started.

“I seem to recall you offering, so I wouldn’t have to stand on a chair.” Julia shot back jokingly as she grinned at him from her position in the kitchen, back to putting together the earlier abandoned goodie bags.

The two worked in tandem for nearly two hours, the subjects of their conversations being far lighter than their earlier conversation. William told her about his band’s shenanigans, about how his girlfriend Christine had gotten pregnant and how they weren’t sure if they would get married before or after the baby arrived. After recounting some of their favorite childhood stories, Julia insisted that William stay instead of driving back to his hotel. It didn’t take much persuading for him to stretch his long body over the couch, one of her extra pillows over his head and the blanket from before draped over him.

Finally, finally, morning came, and Julia didn’t need an alarm clock when she had an overly excited toddler trying to climb out of his crib and making far more noise than necessary in doing so.

“Look who’s up!” Julia cheered, rolling out of bed with surprising ease. “It’s a two year old!” Nathaniel screamed in excitement as she lifted him out of the crib and spun him around, peppering kisses over his cheeks. The boy squirmed and wriggled until he managed to escape her grasp, eagerly using his little legs to hightail it out of the bedroom. He jumped around and clapped, naming each animal he saw when he spotted the cutouts lining the walls of the living space.

The noise was enough to wake up William and Julia sent him an apologetic smile, though he only smiled wider and snuck up behind the toddler. Scooping up Nathaniel and throwing the boy over his shoulder only caused more raucous laughter

“Who’s this two year old?!” He joked, lightly patting the boy’s butt before finally setting him in a chair at the dining table. “Holy moly, you look like a little adult now!”

Only because William offered, Julia didn’t cook breakfast. Deciding to take the small amount of free time to take a ridiculously quick shower and an equally as quick time applying makeup, Julia’s stomach growled as she slipped into a pair of jeans. Hurrying to button up her dark grin top, leaving a few buttons undone at the top, she left the bedroom right as her cousin was plating up some scrambled eggs and toast.

“You’re a lifesaver.” She assured, tone serious as she sat down. He only laughed and passed her a plate, the three of them eating. Well, Nathaniel was more inclined to discuss his plans for his birthday while the other two ate, but his mom and uncle managed to get some food into the excited boy anyway.

WIlliam disappeared back to his hotel to change into fresh clothing while Julia changed her son into a tiny pair of jeans and a shirt that announced he was the birthday boy.

“What are you excited for most?” She asked, combing the thin strawberry blond hair on his little head. “The cake? Or maybe the presents? Or getting to play with your friends?”

His little lips pursed as he seriously considered the question and Julia couldn’t help herself, pulling out her Sidekick and snapping a quick photo of the little boy. No matter her tenuous relationship with some of the most important people in her life, she sent off the photo to Amelia, Rachel, and Patrick anyway.

“Cake with Nikky and Mikey?” Nathaniel asked after his contemplation and she could only laugh softly.

“You can eat cake with your friends and play with them for the whole day.” Julia promised, leading him back to the living room so she could distract him with cartoons while she finished getting ready.

By the time noon rolled around, Julia had caved and let her son open one of his presents. William had returned with a present and Nathaniel ended up opening that as well, so by the time guests started arriving, he was more than excited to share his new toys with his little friends. A couple of the kids were a little older than he was, but none of them seemed to care as long as they got to run around the living room and play as much as their imaginations would allow.

Julia had ended up leaving the door open so guests could come and go as they pleased, a baby gate in the doorway so none of the toddlers could get loose.

What she wasn’t prepared for was looking over and seeing two familiar faces carefully stepping over the baby gate with presents in hand. “Rae, Amelia, I wasn’t sure if you’d come…” Julia admitted softly, hurrying to their side to help them over the gate.

“Today is about Nate, not you,” Rachel said quietly, flashing a soft smile. “We can talk things out another day. Not on his birthday.”

Julia nodded in understanding and led the two inside, making sure Nathaniel said hi to both of them before he got distracted by the noisy fire truck that William had given him. Some of the kids were coloring at the dining table while some were playing with toys like Nathaniel, though it seemed like they were starting to get antsy.

“Who’s ready for cake?” Julia announced with a bright grin, lifting up her toddler and sitting him at one of the available seats at the dining table. Amelia, Rachel, and William all made sure to keep him in the seat while rounding up the other kids so Julia would be able to grab the small animal-themed cake from the kitchen. Being careful to light the candle, she was about to start off the ‘happy birthday’ singing when William waved a hand to catch her attention. Frowning at him, he pointedly nodded his head towards the still open front door, and when Julia turned to look, she nearly dropped the cake from her hands. Patrick was carefully stepping over the gate, hands awkwardly shoving into his pockets when he straightened up.

“Uh, hi.” By some small blessing, most of the adults in the room were still distracted by the litter of children eager to consume sugar, not noticing the stranger’s arrival, trying to keep their grubby little hands off of the dozen cupcakes waiting for them.

“Good timing.” Smiling softly and motioning him closer with a soft motion of her head, inviting him in, Julia didn’t hesitate to start singing. The song quickly caught fire, most of the children screaming the lyrics out of sync. Despite that, Julia could still hear Patrick’s voice through the crowd, his eyes glued to the overly cheerful toddler.

Setting the cake in front of Nathaniel and grinning brightly as William sneakily smeared a little bit of cake onto the tot’s cheek, Julia barely glanced at Patrick as he stepped closer. The two stood behind Nathaniel’s chair, their arms nearly brushing together.

Julia turned her head to whisper in Patrick’s ear. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“I didn’t think I would either but,” He admitted softly, hesitating before looking at the small boy in the chair in front of them. “I couldn’t miss my son’s birthday.”


	28. Classifieds

The moment the two candles were blown out, the children went wild with excitement. Some of them were old enough to grab their cupcake and start to eat without much mess, but some were too small and needed help from the adults scattered around. Impatient and thrilled, Nathaniel didn’t bother to wait before diving his little fingers into the small cake in front of him, ripping out a chunk that was mostly frosting.

“Bubby!” Julia laughed and grinned wide, squatting down beside the boy to steal a little frosting from his sticky fingers. “Let mommy put some on a plate for you, okay?” Quickly pressing a kiss to the boy’s cheek, she stood up and swept away the small cake. Heading to the kitchen, she didn’t bother looking over as William joined her, clearly wanting to discuss the elephant in the room.

“What’s he doing here?” He asked quietly, passing over the stack of paper plates and plastic forks.

Glancing quickly over her shoulder at the singer who was silently standing against the wall and watching as Amelia and Rachel distracted Nathaniel, she half shrugged. “I invited him. He said he’d think about it, and we all know that just means ‘no’. I didn’t think he’d actually show up.” Julia kept her eyes down, slicing up thin pieces of cake and making sure the spot that had a tiny fist-sized piece missing would be saved for the birthday boy.

William just hummed in acknowledgement, frowning a little but staying silent as he collected up the plates and began delivering them to the parents. Leaving the rest of the plates for her cousin to deal with, she brought Nathaniel’s slice to the table with one of his toddler forks.

“Cake!” He squealed, reaching for the treat and completely bypassing the chubby handled fork.

She couldn’t help but smile as she watched her son, kneeling next to his chair and not correcting his behavior as he all but attacked the cake. It wasn’t until she sensed Patrick shifting uncomfortably behind her that she finally stood up, her hands brushing off her pants on instinct. Julia looked at Patrick and bit her lip, carefully motioning her head towards the small kitchen. Before either of them could say anything, she left the dining room and crossed over to the kitchen, smiling briefly at one of the parents grabbing a napkin.

“Patrick… What are you doing here?” Julia faced him, looking for all the world like a confident woman, not someone facing the man that frequently made her feel nauseous with too many emotions.

“Like I said…” He started slowly, though he didn’t finish his sentence.

“You called him your son,” Julia crossed her arms over her chest, pursing her lips into a small frown. “You need to make up your mind, Patrick. It’s all well and good for you to come and celebrate his birthday, but you can’t tell me I’m a liar in one breath and then call him your son in the next.”

Patrick spluttered for a moment, looking affronted at her honesty. “I-I didn’t mean-”

“Either you mean it or you don’t. Either you’re waiting to take a paternity test or you’re not. I’m not here to play games, Patrick. I’m tired, you know exactly how much shit I’m going through right now.” Even though another parent stepped over from the dining room to grab a slice of cake from the counter, Julia didn’t end her silent stare down; Patrick looked away uncomfortably.

A few minutes passed before he finally nodded and shifted his gaze back to her. “You’re right, I guess,” Patrick cleared his throat quietly. “I guess I just wanted to be here, you know, for… support, or something. I told you I’d help you through your financial troubles and all the shit with Anthony, I didn’t think I was crossing any lines.”

“You called him your son.” She repeated, voice low and firm, accusing.

“I get it,” Patrick sighed, holding his hands up in a placating manner. “I misspoke, I’ll keep my mouth shut from now on. I still want to go through with the paternity test. I still want to help.”

This time, it was Julia’s turn to look uncomfortable. She let her eyes drift over the singer’s shoulder to watch the small family made up of her cousin, step-mother, and best friend, all spoil her little son. She had never felt ashamed of her puzzle piece family, but the possibility of Nathaniel’s father being so close and yet still being so far away… It set her on edge.

“There’s… One thing I’d like to ask…” Patrick nodded a little to get her to keep talking, but Julia hesitated anyway. “Would you… Could you pay for half the test? Things are a little tight after paying for his birthday things…”

He blinked at her, unsure of what to say at first. After a moment’s hesitation, Patrick slowly nodded. “Yeah, yeah, sure.”

Before they could continue the conversation, Julia was pulled back into the dining room so she could hand out goodie bags to a couple of the children that were getting ready to leave. It wouldn’t be much longer until Nathaniel needed a nap, but his sugar rush would surely hold him off until they all left.

“Bill, you need to forgive him,” Julia murmured to her cousin, gripping his wrist so he wouldn’t walk away from her. “Seriously, Patrick and the others are your friends, you can’t let this screw that up. He and I… We’ll figure things out, okay? You being mad at him won't help anything.”

William frowned at her but gave in, nodding. With a sigh and a brief smile flashed in her direction, he stepped away from her to approach the other singer, holding his hand out as a truce. Julia could only hope to reconcile so easily with Amelia and Rachel.

Speaking of which…

“Can we talk?” Julia approached Rachel hesitantly, arms crossed over her chest as if she was trying to protect herself. It definitely wasn’t the right time to do it with guests still in the apartment, but they were distracted with the children, and none of the children were paying the two women any mind.

With a slight nod, Rachel and Julia made their way down the short hallway, standing at the end in front of Rachel’s bedroom door, still close enough to the rest of the place that they could hear if they were needed for anything.

“Okay, so… Talk.” Rachel crossed her arms over her chest, chin lifted almost defiantly.

Julia blinked absently, unsure of where to start without rehashing the same things that have been said on repeat. “I’m an idiot and I don’t deserve you forgiving me easily, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try. I made a huge mistake and I’m trying to counteract it before it’s too late. Just… Please, don’t move out. Not yet. If not for me, then for Nathaniel.”

With a sigh, Rachel glanced down the hall to the small crowd of children shrieking with happiness. “I’m not moving out, but Christy and I are looking for a place. We’re aiming to move in together by New Years.” Julia nearly flinched, that was only three months away.

“There’s one more thing…” She spoke slowly, wanting to get it over with before Rachel decided to walk away from the conversation that wasn’t going anywhere. “If I… When I file a restraining order against Anthony, will you testify on my behalf? He’s most likely going to have a better lawyer than me, and I know I’m going to need as much against him as possible. You and Amelia making statements about what I’ve gone through would mean a lot.”

Rachel looked a little uncomfortable with the conversation, but nodded promptly. “Of course I’ll do that. No matter how mad I am, you don’t deserve him.”

The two exchanged brief smiles but left it at that. So maybe their friendship wasn’t repaired quite as easily as Patrick and William’s, but it was a start, and that was all Julia could ask for.

After about another hour, the last of the children and parents finally slipped out of the apartment, everyone’s respective sugar highs starting to crash. Amelia had left without much fanfare, deciding it best to keep away from Julia until things had settled. William and Rachel were helping start the clean up process when Julia scooped up her little toddler in her arms and made her way to the bedroom.

“All right birthday boy, time for your nap.” She kissed the boy’s head as she tucked him into her bed, stroking his hair and smiling at him. Humming a little lullaby under her breath, she watched him fade into sleep. The toddler didn’t even bother fighting against it; all of the excitement of his birthday was finally taking over him.

“You’re a good mother,” The voice startled her out of her reverie and she spun around to see Patrick standing in the doorway with his hands shoved into his pockets. “No matter what I’ve said about you or what anyone else might think, it’s easy to see how much you love him.”

Julia waved him away from the doorway, carefully closing the door behind her to let the sleeping baby lie. “All you have to do is take one glance at him and you fall in love.” Her voice was wistful, sweet and soft, almost melancholy in a way.

Patrick cleared his throat, not leaving the hallway to join the other two in tidying. “I uh, made a couple calls,” He started, not looking at Julia as he spoke, clearly sounding a little nervous. Like he shouldn't have taken it upon himself to make those calls. “I’ve set up for us to do the DNA swab tomorrow morning. Since tomorrow’s a Friday, we won’t get the results until Monday, but, um, yeah.”

“Oh, wow,” Julia didn’t know what to say, feeling a little speechless at his initiative. “I know you’ve said you’d be willing to do the test and all, but, I don’t know, I guess I didn’t take you that seriously.” She admitted with a slight tinge of guilt crossing her face.

They both looked sheepish before she took a deep breath and nodded. “Y’know, I mean it when I said I wanted to help, even if I’m not his father,” Patrick told her, only pausing for a second before interrupting whatever she had planned to say. “The Anthony thing, specifically.”

Slowly, she nodded in understanding and showed him a tight lipped smile. Julia left the hallway abruptly, making her way to the kitchen to start cleaning up the mess of trash left over. She knew it would be no good to expect or ask anything more than that from him, there was no point getting her hopes up for anything else.

Patrick left shortly after that, making some excuse about needing to rejoin the writing process. William and Rachel helped for another thirty minutes before they both made their own excuses, but Julia couldn’t find herself annoyed with any of them. She worked in silence to take down the decorations still scattered, leaving up a couple of the animal cut outs for just a little while longer. Nathaniel would still enjoy them after he woke up from his nap.

Julia carefully folded the happy birthday banner on the couch beside her and pulled her laptop from her briefcase, hesitating for a moment before pulling up google and typing a very specific desire into the photo search. It took a little scrolling through the flood of images until she found the right one.

Sure, DNA was the proof that Patrick (and the world) would need in order to believe that Nathaniel was his child, but the baby picture she had found of the singer was proof enough for anyone that took a glance at Nathaniel.

While the ball was rolling and her laptop was already in her hands, Julia began to research exactly what was needed for her to get a restraining order. She’d have to find a lawyer surely, she was in the midst of gathering evidence against him, the biggest thing working against her was the fact that she had never gone to the hospital or gone to the police. But perhaps… If she could find Anthony’s ex-wife, maybe she’d be able to get proof that he was abusive against her too. There was no way someone as controlling as him could have had a whole marriage without showing off how insane and toxic he was.

So started Julia’s personal project. Gathering character witnesses, saving all the emails and text messages that had any semblance of a threat, finding his ex-wife. The idea that she’d bring forward all her work and evidence to the police and they’d do nothing about it terrified her. What would he do then? It wouldn’t be just a little smack. She wasn’t stupid enough to believe he’d let it go. And she had promised to see him after the weekend… Monday, when the paternity test results would be ready, she was meant to be in New York, visiting the very same man that she was actively trying to escape.


	29. Steady Hands

It was too early, Nathaniel was fussy and Julia wasn’t having it. His whining and overactive little body was only stressing her out, no matter how much she tried to get him to sit still beside her. The waiting room was surprisingly busy for such an early hour, but she wasn’t too surprised. Drop in hours always seemed to be overcrowded. Forty minutes of waiting, trying to get Nathaniel to nap in her lap or at least sit quietly with a toy, Julia was beginning to wonder if she’d ever leave that waiting room. That’s probably what Hell consisted of; endless waiting rooms and a toddler having a minor meltdown.

“Foreman? We’re ready for you.” The nurse’s voice cut through her spaced out thoughts and she quickly stood up. Scooping up Nathaniel and ignoring the way he all but screeched unhappily, she carried the boy into the adjoining hallway.

“Hush, Nathaniel,” She sighed, shifting the toddler so he was curled against her chest. It didn’t do much, considering he was still squirming to be let down. “I’ll set you down when we get to the doctor’s office, calm down bubby.”

And just as promised, she followed the nurse to a patient room and as soon as the door was closed, she set down the toddler, who proceeded to kick out his little legs and complain unintelligibly.

“It says here you’re requesting a paternity test?” The nurse asked, scooting a stuffed animal across the floor towards the crying child in hopes of calming him down.

“That’s right, the um, prospective father will be coming by this afternoon.” It had all been scheduled the night before, before Patrick left Nathaniel’s birthday party. Despite the fact that the singer took the initiative to set it all up, part of her still felt disbelief that it was really happening. After all, she had spent over two years wishing that he’d know the truth, but when he found out, all her imagined futures flew out of the window. Now here she was….

There wasn’t time to think of any of that when the nurse began to explain what was going to happen. A simple cheek swab was enough to prove DNA and there was hardly any paperwork that would need to be signed. Her own cheek swab took seconds, but Nathaniel wasn’t having it.

“Bubby, come on,” Julia groaned softly, securely holding the wiggling kid in her lap as he attempted to fight off the nurse. “It won’t hurt, mommy did it and it didn’t hurt!”

It took another few minutes of coaxing before he finally calmed down just enough to let the nurse dip the q-tip into his tiny but loud mouth. The woman smiled softly at Julia and tenderly patted Nathaniel’s messy hair.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” The nurse cooed, putting away the cotton swabs so she could pull out a sticker from a nearby drawer. “Because you were such a good boy, I’ve got a special sticker for you!” She grinned wide and carefully stuck the little neon purple smiley face sticker to his shirt. After everything, that little sticker improved his mood more than anything else could have.

Making quick work of the paperwork needed, Julia once again bundled her son in her arms and left the doctor’s office, thankful that he had settled down enough not to attract the attention of the other patients milling around. Briefly glancing at her watch and noticing that she was already late for work, she rushed to her car and strapped the boy in before climbing into the driver’s seat to get going. She’d have to keep the tot with her all day, which was going to be a challenge in and of itself, but with him giving constant attitude, she wasn’t looking forward to how the day would play out.

Especially considering she was going to call Anthony and cancel her trip to New York.

“Good morning Julia,” Michael greeted, looking up from the guest book to coo at the sight of Nathaniel. “And good morning to you, big boy!” The little boy only stuck out his tongue and squirmed around in Julia’s hold until she set him down, making sure to cling to his little hand so he couldn’t run off.

“It’s one of those days.” She rolled her eyes, ignoring the child as she caught up on the day’s upcoming events. It was the beginning of autumn and considering it was the start of a weekend, the Inn was rather busy, especially with small time politicians and minor celebrities.

Taking the boy to her office and silently thanking God that she had a couple toys left over from the last time she had to take him to work, she settled the toddler on the floor beside her desk. And so it began, replying to emails and making phone calls, running on only the single cup of coffee she managed to grab before leaving the apartment, dealing with a continuously fussy child that didn’t want to be trapped in the office.

An hour and a half passed before she caved and decided they both could use a little fresh air. Taking his hand and leading him out of the office and through the Inn, she was pleased to see that her son was at least acting nicer to the Inn guests that cooed at him. Making a quick pit stop in the kitchen, Julia got her staff to prepare a bowl of cut up bowl of fruit as well as a massive cup of coffee before her and the little boy made their way outside.

“Do you want a snack or do you want to run around?” Julia asked softly, leading the boy to a nearby table and, careful not to spill anything, set down the bowl and coffee mug that she managed to hold all in one hand. The moment she set down the snack and drink, her hand loosened just enough for Nathaniel to take off. There was a brief moment of panic when his little hand left hers, but she immediately reminded herself to calm down. He was safe, he knew how far he was allowed to run, where he was allowed to go and who he was and wasn’t allowed to talk to.

Apparently burning off his energy was enough for him, seeing as he began to run in small circles, making himself dizzy. Smiling a little as she watched, Julia leaned back in her chair and picked at the fruit.

As much as she tried not to think about how much things weren’t going to change, it was difficult to come to terms with it. Patrick would find out in a few days that he was a father, for real, and he’d financially lend a hand to her. She’d probably still have to find a new apartment, because she wasn’t willing to take that much money from the singer, plus there was a slim chance that they’d actually rekindle the flirtationship that had started years prior.

Granted… Maybe there was a chance. Their friendship had grown rapidly, she knew that she still had feelings for him lingering somewhere in the back of her mind. Maybe it was true for him, too.

After a few small tumbles and more than enough shouts of joy, Nathaniel finally stumbled back to her side. His little hands clung to her pant leg, grinning crookedly up at her.

“Mommy!” He cheered, making grabby hands for her until she caved and picked up the boy to settle him into her lap. Kissing the top of his head, she slowly fed him pieces of fruit, pretending to steal them from him before popping them into his mouth.

“Is that yummy baby?” Tickling his little tummy, Julia grinned as Nathaniel squirmed and giggled brightly, flailing against her. “Uh-oh! I think the tickle monster is coming for you!” She wiggled her fingers in a vaguely threatening manner before descending onto the boy’s belly, sending him into another giggle fit.

Finally letting them both settle back down, she quickly drained the rest of her coffee before standing up and picked up the empty mug and half empty bowl of fruit. Nathaniel, in a much better mood than he had been all morning, easily reached for her hand and the two trekked back inside to her office. Thankfully, Michael was able to calm and sort out any issues going on in the hotel, leaving her to confine herself and the toddler inside her office for the most part. And even when she was needed out at the front desk, Nathaniel was very good for her and laid out on the floor behind the desk with a coloring book.

“Yes, that’s right sir, every room we have is booked this weekend,” Julia said into the phone receiver, doing her best to keep a smile on her face. She had already repeated herself three times. “I’m terribly sorry sir, but it’s a Friday, it’s quite common that our rooms are all full. Perhaps we can fit you in next weekend? We still have a couple rooms open.” She suggested smoothly, raising a hand to wave at guests entering the lobby. Humming softly into the phone and jotting down the man’s details when he finally conceded that they’d have to put off their visit for a week, she briefly glanced away from the notebook to see Patrick appearing from the hallway. And heading towards her.

Quickly saying goodbye after confirming the guest’s details, she hung up the phone right before Patrick reached the desk, his hands shoved into his pockets.

“Uh, hey,” He greeted, flashing a closed lip smile. “I’m about to head to the doctor’s office.”

The implication was more than obvious and it almost made her snicker- he wasn’t being at all subtle. “Okay, good,” Julia cleared her throat briefly and clasped her hands onto the desk. “We went this morning, they’ll be expecting you. You’ve just got one or two papers to sign and a cheek swab.”

“And the results on Monday?” She nodded a little, thumbs twirling around each other absently. “Well, um, we’ll be checked out by Sunday…” Patrick’s voice faded away, but she didn’t know how to respond to that. “I can check into a cheap hotel for a couple days if you think I should stick around?”

“Considering the test was all your idea, that would probably be for the best.” Julia answered him slowly, trying not to sound annoyed. Of course he should stay when he’s the one who insisted they do the paternity test to begin with!

The two silently stared at each other for a moment before Nathaniel complained about his crayon breaking, startling them both from the growing tension.

“He’s here..?” Patrick slowly leaned around the desk to see the toddler pouting.

Julia chose to ignore Patrick in favor of leaning down to her son and picking up the broken half. “You can still use that part baby, this just means you have two pieces of blue instead of one,” Gently pushing the broken piece back into the box, she stood up and faced the other again, looking a little upset. “Normally Amelia would have him on Fridays, she’s currently upset with me and I couldn’t get him into his daycare today with the doctor’s appointment in the morning.”

A slow look of realization seemed to crawl into his eyes and he nodded a little. His fingers tapped a short pattern into the desk as he continued to watch Nathaniel draw. “I’ll find a hotel. We have a lot to figure out, I think.”

Taking that as his version of a goodbye, Julia flashed him a small smile before returning to the guestbook to detail some notes into the last entry she had started. Seeing that as his cue to leave, Patrick turned on his heels and headed out of the Inn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was going to be posted earlier, but I actually had plans during the weekend (woah!), plus I kept trying to make it longer but nothing felt like it was working (hence why it's a bit shorter than normal)
> 
> there's possibly only 5 or so chapters left in this story! I know where I'm planning to go with the plot but I haven't nailed down exactly the path to get there, but I know the ending is coming pretty soon.


	30. Little Blessings

Her Sidekick vibrated beside her on the desk, startling her from her reverie. Julia kept her eyes glued to the computer screen in front of her, focused on ignoring the familiar name flashing across the screen. It wasn't time, she wasn't ready for this conversation. Who knew how it would go? She was beyond certain Anthony wouldn't take any excuse she had.

The end of her work day was growing closer and closer, and the man was expecting to hear that she was on her way up to visit him in New York. If she planned to be there on Monday, he liked her to leave late on Sunday evenings.

He had already called twice earlier that day.

A few minutes after her phone stopped vibrating, Michael lightly knocked on her office door. "Julia, he's calling again. You can't keep ignoring him, he said it's a business call."

"You know it's not-" Julia muttered, briefly glancing at her co-worker before scrubbing a hand over her face.

"I know it’s not, but he can reprimand you for this. No matter what personal shit you have going on with him, are you really willing to risk your job?" Michael reminded her, giving her a pointed look. With a heavy sigh, she nodded slowly. He held up two fingers to let her know which line the man was on and left, leaving the door open enough that he could turn and peek inside if needed. She had already warned him about the tenuous situation between her and their boss.

Gritting her teeth, she plastered on a fake smile and picked up her work phone, pressing a button to answer the call that was put on hold. "Sorry about the wait, this is Julia Foreman, how can I help you?" Pretending not to know who was on the other end of the line was the least she could do to keep herself together.

"Jules, baby! Are you ignoring me?" Anthony’s voice was sickly sweet; he clearly had other intentions.

"Mr. Lee, I'm not intentionally ignoring you, I'm quite busy," She told him briefly, keeping her voice level and polite. "Is there something you needed, sir?"

He wasn't having any of that. "What time are you leaving tonight?" His tone showed no signs of entertaining her nonchalance, but Julia didn't feel like playing along anymore.

"I'm leaving work at five, probably," Julia paused for a moment, and the silence from the other end of the line told her she was making him angry. "I'm not driving to New York, Anthony. I've got no one to take Nathaniel, and I'm swamped at work…"

"Who do you think you're fooling?" Anthony hissed into the phone, voice lowering. "You better get your ass here before noon tomorrow, or else-"

"Or else what, Anthony?" Julia cut him off quickly, struggling to keep her voice even still. "I'm not doing this anymore. I'm not going to sit here and be your puppet that you think you can do whatever you want with!"

She apparently wasn't doing a very good job at keeping her voice at an appropriate indoor volume, because Michael stepped away from the front desk to peek into the office. Just enough to let her know that he was there if she needed an escape from the call… Or a witness.

Quickly making a rash decision, she waved in the young man and put the phone on speaker so they both could hear the rant that Anthony had instantly started on.

"How dare you speak to me like this, you little bitch!" His voice echoed through the small office, Julia and Michael staring each other down nervously. "If I don't see you tomorrow morning, you can bet your ass that I'll be there. I will find you, and once I do, you'll learn your lesson."

" _What do I do?_ " Mouthing to Michael as she shivered, nerves causing goosebumps to erupt all down her arms, Michael rushed forward to hang up the phone, not letting the rants continue on.

"You hung up?!" Julia asked, almost breathless in shock.

"Call HR, right now. Report him and everything that's happened," When she didn't respond, Michael rolled his eyes and pushed the phone receiver into her hand. "You said you were going to try and get a restraining order, right? Documentation will be vital."

Slowly starting to feel reassured, Julia’s shaky fingers dialed out the needed number. She was thankful then, more than ever, that she worked for such a good company. Catherine Chavez, the human resources manager, was extremely professional and extremely protective over the four Inn’s she managed. There hadn’t been many cases of sexual harassment over the years, but this was textbook. As she explained her situation, her history with Anthony and the current threat that he had made, Catherine almost acted like a therapist as she assured Julia that the situation would be handled with the utmost care.

While on the phone with the HR manager, Anthony had called back three more times, even threatening Michael when he refused to let him talk to Julia. Catherine took note of everything and assured her that corporate would help with the proceedings once she made to file a police report against Anthony.

That was her next step, and it’s what she was most afraid of. Partially because how something so major could affect her career and her life, but mostly she was nervous about what could possibly happen with Nathaniel. What if they thought she was a bad mother? What if they threatened to take him away? What if they didn’t believe her and Anthony decided to hurt him next time, instead of hurting her?

She shivered at the thought and quickly pushed herself away from her desk. Sitting there and pondering all the negatives that could happen wasn’t going to ease her worries at all.

“Good afternoon,” Julia cheerily greeted guests, automatically falling into her more comfortable role of interacting with people. That’s truly what she liked about her job; the paperwork and phone calls were mandatory, but nothing compared to guest services. “I’m going to walk around and help people for a while. Ignore anything that Anthony tries to pull.” She warned Michael carefully, giving him a look that said just how wary she was of their boss.

“Have fun without me.” Michael teased lightly, waving her off to do the fun part of the job.

There was a feeling like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Granted, there was still a lot of stress on her shoulders, she was hardly in the clear, but the first step being made felt like a huge accomplishment.

“It may be getting chilly, but I can guarantee the lake is still gorgeous,” She told an older gentleman who was a well known business owner in the state. “I would suggest renting a boat from the docks down the road. You and your wife could order food from our kitchen and get it packed to go. I think they’ve got a bottle of pinot noir from our winery next door that you’d really enjoy, as well.” Directing the man where to go and what he should ask for, even making sure he’d get a small discount for it all, Julia grinned and watched as he left the lobby to head for the kitchen.

“You’re really good at customer service.” The sudden voice startled enough enough to make her flinch, a hand clutching her chest as she turned to see Patrick. His hands were in his pockets, looking a little awkward, though he was clearly growing more comfortable as time passed.

“I know how to read people, I suppose,” Julia slowly smiled, motioning for him to follow her out of the hotel. The two walked in silence for a moment, heading towards the bar and winery next door. “I like being able to help people find out what they want, even if they don’t know they want it.”

He hummed quietly in understanding, though there was a small frown on his face as she led him around the side of the building towards the rows of grape vines fenced off. A comfortable silence drifted between them as she pulled a cord and opened the fence gate, the two of them heading down a dirt path. Patrick had never been there before, he had always assumed it was out of bounds for anyone but employees, but there seemed to be other Inn guests lingering around the small vineyard.

“We’ve got a tasting in an hour,” Julia informed him, pointing to a small table decorated with lights and small information cards. “You’re more than welcome to join, but I don’t think you’re much of a wine guy.”

“Yeah, I’m not,” Patrick chuckled softly, tilting his head to glance at her. They were walking between shoulder high rows of vines, small labels dotting the rows with explanations of the growing process. In the early afternoon light of early October, he couldn’t help but watch the way the sun glowed against her skin, the way the chilly air tinted her cheeks pink. “But I do like it over here. Why have I never seen it before?”

“Andy doesn’t drink, Joe and Pete seem like they won’t stray far from beer or maybe hard liquor,” Julia shrugged a little and glanced at him, a sweet smile curling her lips. “It never felt right to steal you away from them to show you this part of the property. Actually, you remember the outdoor seating behind the bar that we went to that one New Year’s Eve?” He nodded after a second, remembering faintly. “It’s right over there.”

Patrick blinked and looked over to where she pointed, seeing another fence blocking it off. The two of them stopped walking, eyes drifting from the fence to watch each other. And suddenly, Julia wasn’t cold anymore. The flush on her cheeks wasn’t entirely from the temperature outside. Patrick’s shoulders slouched, ease slipping into his posture as he shifted on his feet, unintentionally brushing their arms together.

“This beautiful view was right in front of me the whole time.” Patrick didn’t look at her when he said those words, but she felt the weight of them tremble up her spine from the soft, sure tone in his voice.

They let the silence of the moment wash over them and she felt a strange sense of contentment. Despite everything that was going on, all the stress piling on her, the fact that his entire life was about to flip upside down with the knowledge and proof of being a father, that moment was nothing but them.

“You found a hotel to stay in, right?” Julia asked after a moment, breaking the silence and restarting their walk through the vineyard.

“Yeah, it’s on the other side of town. I rented a car this morning so I’d be able to get back to Chicago without having to take the bus or something,” Patrick told her, a small chuckle in his words. “Actually, I was hoping that, uh, maybe I could take you to dinner tonight,” He paused and glanced at her, his hands deep in his pockets. “You and Nathaniel.”

Julia blinked at him, a little surprised. “Are you sure? Honestly, you don’t have to get to know him, I told you-”

“And I told you, whether or not I’m his father, I want to help you,” They stopped walking and Patrick rocked on his feet for a moment before he straightened his shoulders. She looked wary, nervous at the thought of Patrick getting close to Nathaniel. “I want to get to know you again. Properly, this time.”

Something about the way he talked to her made her thoughts fade into the background. Something about the careful expression on his face, the nervous but bright look in his eyes… “Patrick…” Julia fiddled with her fingers behind her back, eyes locked on the floor before she gave in to her risky thoughts. Taking a small but deep breath, she lifted her head and dipped forward, gently pressing her lips to his in a brief, tender kiss.

Patrick didn’t return the kiss immediately, and Julia was an inch from panicking. Did she read the signs wrong? Was it too soon? But before she could verbalize any of that, Patrick slid an arm around her torso and kept her close enough to mold his lips against hers.

In that vineyard, in the chilly fall weather with a million and one things weighing her down and stressing her out, Julia felt as free as ever, wrapped up in Patrick’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My power kept failing while I was trying to write this (severe wind storms messing with power transformers), that’s part of why it’s so late (considering I write using google docs and not microsoft word). Also, very suddenly, I’ve got my pre-covid shutdown job back! There’s a lot going on in my personal life so chapters may be a little shorter or a little more spaced apart while I get back into the swing of things again, but I think we're getting to the exciting part of our journey with Patrick and Julia!


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